Hi. I'm Kaila. I'm 14. People like me. I like people. It's a good system. I also enjoy nude interpretive dance, trees, and hippie bashing. My asperation in life is to watch George W. Bush die. Even if it's a peaceful death in his sleep. This cannot be taken as a threat to the president becuase that idiot is not my president. At best he's the president of 70 people in Miami-Dade county, Florida. And maybe Jeb. I am not a highschool student in Ohio, so if the secret service will please leave all my t-shirts alone I would be thankful. None of this is a threat on his life, so please don't arresst me. It is only a thought. I will also rape his corpse, and then eat it for brunch with my family and friends. Often times I crush Monty Python movies and snort the remains. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries, now leave me alone or I shall taunt you a second time!! I fart in your general direction. Of course I'm french, why else would I have this outrageous accent?!?! Where did you get that coconut? Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? It's a simple matter of weight ratio, a 5 ounce bird cannot carry a 1 pound coconut. Maybe an Afircan swallow, but not a European swallow. We should ask Freija. She's a coconut. She's my favroite coconut. I must also insist upon Beavis and Butthead being revered in my presense. These comedic masterminds are above all a great laugh. Mike Judge is the master of the voice-over. Who can forget such classic lines as, "I would hate for my bungholio to get polio!" or, "Beavis, this is the coolest thing you have ever done", "Woah!" and my favorite, "Boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oing!" Members of the relatively amazing punk group The Vandals are the worst actors and make the best movies. If you get the chance to buy "That Darn Punk" for under $5, I suggest you do so. Then spend the rest of the $5 on hallucenigenic drugs. Or like, NyQuil will do. Enjoy! If you name is Dave Quackenbush, you're bound to be a great actor. If your name is Warren "Mutant Boy" Fitzgerald, you're not. "Don't shit in your front yard." A line with no meaning.. or is it?!?! I know! I know! And as Billie is careful to remind us, "Some mistakes we pay for forever!" So, Baby, don't you sign that paper tonight, I said. {Reel Big Fish, Sell Out, as on Turn The Radio Off, 1996} You say we're different, I say we're all the same! All caught, you know, in this division game. Self destruction, FAST, impending like a bullet - no one can stop it once it's fired no one can control it.{Operation Ivy, Unity, Energy, 1989} And always keep in mind that the Sun is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace, where hydrogen is built into helium at a temperature of millions of degrees.{They Might Be Giants, Why The Sun Shines, Live Recording} You show me where your skeleton's hiding, show me all and I'll tell you. You think you have a real good fucking answer, a fucking answer's what I'm giving you! {Goldfinger, Answers, Goldfinger, 1996} I want to conquer the world, give all the idiots a brand new religion, put an end to poverty uncleanliness and toil, put up equality in all of my decisons with a quick wink of the eye and a "God, you must be joking." {Bad Religion, I Want To Conquer The World, No Control, 1989} You're selling sexism, you're sellin' racism, you're sellin anything you get your fuckin hands on {Rancid, Antennas, Rancid, 2000} let the feds pass a law, that takes your rights away 'cause,"you gotta sacrifice if you want to stay safe!" til the day you find the feds in your back pocket locking you away for saying, "question", "think", or "stop it" {Anti-Flag, Watch The Right, Underground Network, 2001}
The Greatest Band Of All Time, NOFX, Asks You To Think :
Where are all these stupid people from
and how did they get to be so dumb
Bred on purple mountain range
Feed amber waves of grains
To lesser human beings, zero feelings

Blame it on human nature, man's destiny
Blame it on the greediocracy
The fear of God, the fear of change, fear of truth

Add the Bill of Rights
Subtract the wrongs, there's no answers
Memorize and sing
Star spangled songs, when the questions
Aren't ever asked
Is anybody learning from the past
We're living in united stagnation

Father what have I done.
I took that 22.
A gift for me from you to bed with me each night.
Kept it clean polished it well.
Cherished every cartridge every shell

Down by the creek under brush under dirt
There's a carcass of my second kill
Down at the park under stone under pine
There's a carcass of my brother William
Brother where have you gone to I swear
I never thought I could I see so many times
They told me to shoot straight, don't pull
The trigger squeeze, that will insure
A kill, a kill is what you want
To kill is why we breed

The Christians love their guns the church and NRA
Pray for their salvation
Prey on lower faiths
The story book's been read
And every line believed
The curriculum's been set
Logic is a threat
Reason searched + seized

Jerry spent some
Time in Michigan
A 20 year vacation
After all he had a dime
A dime is worth a
Lot more in Detroit
A dime in California
Just a 20 dollar fine
Jerry only stayed
A couple months
It's hard to enjoy
Yourself while
Bleeding out the ass
Asphyxiation is
Simple and fast
It beats 17 fun years
Of being someone's bitch

Don't think
Drink your wine
Watch the fire burn
His problems not mine
Just be that model citizen

I wish I had a schilling for every senseless killing
I'd buy a government. America's for sale and
You can get a good deal on it and make a healthy
Profit, or maybe tear it apart you start with
Assumption, that a million people are smarter than 1

Serotonin's gone she gave up drifted away
Sara fled though process gone
She left her answering machine on
The greeting left spoken sincere
Messages no one will ever hear

10,000 messages a day a million more transmissions lay
Dead victims of the laissez faire 10,000 voices
100 guns, 100 decibels turns to one, one bullet
One empty head now with serotonin gone

The man that used to speak
Performs a cute routine.
Feel a little patronized.
Don't feel bad. They found
A way inside your head
And you feel a bit misled.
It's not that they don't
Care. The television's
Put a thought inside your
Head like a Barry Manilow
Jingle I'd like to teach the
World to sing in perfect
Harmony a symphonic blank
Stare. It doesn't make you care.
Not designed to make you care.
They're betting you wont care.

They'll place a wager on your greed.
A wager on your pride
Why try to beat them when a million others tried

We are the whore.
Intellectually spayed
We are the queer
Dysfunctionally raised

One more pill to kill the pain,
One more pill to kill the pain
One more pill to kill the pain,
Living through conformity
One more prayer should keep me safe.
One more prayer to keep us safe
One more prayer to keep us safe
There's gonna be a better place

Lost the battle lost the war lost the things
Worth living for lost the will to win the fight
One more pill to kill the pain
The going gets tough the tough get debt
Don't pay attention pay the rent our next of kins
Pay for your sins a little faith should keep us safe

Save us

The human existence is failing
Resistance essential. The future
Written off. The odds are astronomically
Against us only
Moron and genius would fight a
Losing battle against the super
Ego when giving in is so damn comforting

And so we go on with our lives we
Know the truth but prefer lies
Lies are simple. Simple is bliss. Why
Go against tradition when we can
Admit defeat. Live in decline. Be there
Victim of our own design
With status quo built on suspect.
Why would anyone stick out their
Neck fellow member of club
We've got ours. I'd
Like to introduce
You to our host
He's got his and I've
Got mine. Meet
THE DECLINE
{The Decline, NOFX, 1999}

All the Vegans in the House, The Vegans, The Vegans! Save a plant, eat a cow, I want beef I want it now! I'm gonna eat it cuz it's red, I'm gonna eat it cuz it's dead! Maybe I should eat it raw, let the blood run down my jaw, I'd eat people if it was legal, I'd eat people if it was legal! *moooooooooo*
{Reel Big Fish, Say "Ten", as on Turn The Radio Off, 1996}

Freija the Squeaky Coconut eats people. Yeah, their brains. While she's naked. It's gratuitious nudity and violence. Since I know you're all really really into that you should go read her stuff. Really.

Always keep in mind that true balance comes from THINKING and HAVING FUN. Not work and play, that's bullshit. No yin and yang, no good and evil, no this and that will make your life complete. You must always think about what's going on around you and never be afraid to voice your opinions about it. Never. Voicing your opinion, and forming opinions is what makes you human. Always be observant and never stop giving a shit, BUT ONLY ABOUT WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT. Of course, what's important to you and important to everyone else may be completely different, but history has shown that certain things should not be taken more seriously than they really are: race, creed, sexual preferance, gender, age.. ect. Distinguishing between real differences and completely superficial differences will get you far. One other thing that must neve be taken too seriously: Yourself. When you can't make a joke at your own expense, when you become to cocky or work too hard for some rediculous goal, you do us all a disservice. Having fun and Thinking... when you get that one right you will truely live in peace with yourself - and others.

Oh, yeah. And go to a book store. Sure the internet is great but you need to pick up "Ishmael" and "My Ishmael" by Daniel Quinn. Ah, hell, while your online anywho go to . it is GOOD FOR YOU!!! You are what you eat...