I. Hate. Vampires.

No don't look at me like that. I'm not some delusional weirdo who thinks he hunts monsters of the night. I'm just sick and tired of vampires. Face the facts people; vampires are NOT scary! They never were! And no matter how many beautiful women in black corsets, or ancient prophecies (that must be fulfilled, duh) you throw into your vampire story will not make it beautiful. Vampires aren't sensuos, heart torn people who talk for fifteen paragraphs about their lost love. They don't enjoy the light of dawn on the dew covered grass of a mountain meadow, they don't wear silly looking clothes, they don't spend their lonely nights dancing to Fischerspooner in the underground rave scene, and I'm sure they can't dodge bullets whilst reciting the Bible or Hamlet or whatever. You wanna scare me? How about you write a story that doesn't start with "my heart is filled with sorrow, as I bade my time in the black depths of this world".

Okay I had to get that out of my head, because I'm sick and tired of going to the horror section and seeing nothing but vampires, werewolves, dhampirs or empaths. I want lies, betrayal, deceit, and lots of illegal sex! Fuck vampires, I want gritty seediness!

Also, I'm sick and tired of flipping through the romance section and finding a story that sounds good, only to stop reading it after two paragraphs when I find out that one of the main characters is goth. Okay. Okay. Breath. I just want it to be known to the world that I hate goths. Not real life ones per se, just the ones in stories. Your story will not, I repeat will NOT, be original if you throw in some depressed character who's *gasp* a goth. Just because he's depressed doesn't mean he only dresses in black. You know, you'll get way more praise if you make a realistic, NON-GOTHIC, character who can become depressed like any other realistic, NON-GOTHIC, person. I enjoy slash (that's m/m in case anyone doesn't realise that) and I'll review a story if I think its good/needs CC. But I can gaurantee you the second I spot anything to do with black clothing there will be a 90 chance I'll stop reading it and never return. Goth=Sterotype=Formulaic Character Development=Loss of Reviews=Greif and/or misery, knowing that your story officially sucks because someone in it dresses like 12 o'clock=Suicide=Being sent to the 500th ring of Hell (that's where Alf went!).

But really I don't hate goths. Why? I don't know any. And I have no right to hate an entire sub-culture just because they have a bad reputation. Instead I'll just ignore them and refuse to make friends with them. I kid I kid! Really people, my ego may be big but I love each and every Unicorn in the world!

Anyway I've written a few short stories. Most of them are horror but there is the occasional prostitute and/or butter knife thrown in there as well. I've been on this site for...God knows how long and I've only gotten about twenty reviews. I don't care if it's "plz review, awsum story" I just need something! Although I'll probably review your stories if you use proper spelling instead of mangling the English language. We're all aspiring amateurs here people, and reviewing people's work is a tremendous boost to their morale, especially if it's usefull CC or a nice warm fuzzy!

So I have black hair, blue/green eyes, I'm tall-ish, got some freckles here and there, that's about all I can think of. I really suck at these. It's better if you talk to me, you'll get a better picture of who I am. Not a literal picture, however, for I am without a digital camera or a scanner.

Well I guess that's it, you go out there and review! Not just my stories mind you, but everyones stories! These people put their work on this site so that it can be judged, go judge them! Use constructive criticism (unlike me) and go out there and improve the general writing on ! Go! I said go Goddamnit! Don't make me get my shotgun!

NOTE TO ALL:

My computer crashed and everything I had on it, pictures, music, and most importantly my stories, were deleted. That includes Epoch and several short stories I was planning on uploading. I'm trying to contact the shop to see if they can salvage anything from the old hardrive, but if they can't some major changes will take place. If nothing remains on the old drive than I'll be getting rid of Epoch, as I'm going to have to come up with the entire story once more. Oh well, I guess that'll teach me to save my stuff on disks or something. Sorry to anyone who was looking forward to another chapter.

Ideas in the works:

Unnamed #1: Romance/epic. (slash)This one is really in the rough area. The story will span over 8 years in an upper class Californian suburbs (like the one from Poltergeist, so expect lots of Venturi-esque houses). It's set during 1987-95, so expect some nasty clothes and Showgirls (a movie which could have used some clothes, nasty or not.) Since I detest angsty stories with gothy weirdo characters this one will have plenty of shallow, vacuos characters who you'll have to love because there's no one else in the story that's better. As usual I'll probably pump it full of sex, suicide, rape, lies, deceit, and (once again) absolute moral corruption. Oh yeah, expect some exhibitionism too.

Crimson Dawn/Skies/Horizon: Drama/Action, Alternate History. Set in futuristic Soviet Union as envisioned by 1980s America. Expect massive Sid Mead-like structures, the Seven Sisters of Stalin, very sexy accents, and lots of cool red flags. Focuses on an international group of diplomats and celebrities who go to Moscow to ease sour dispositions between the East and West. The General Secretary (someone modeled after Stalin) is secretely amassing a huge army to begin his domination of the planet whilst the 18 soviet states are feuding among themselves. The group is stuck in the middle of a Nation that is falling to pieces even as it's leaders prepare for war. Bound to be biased beyond belief, although I love the Russians and their history.

But don't expect me to write any of them either. I still have to finish the basic plot on all three of them, then flesh it up with characters, and then write the entire synopsis. And then of course I'd have to write them all out. So far I've been good with short stories, so I'll probably work my way up to epics.

Now touch your nose twice and smile!

Current Project:

Epoch (name pending): Sci-fi/action/epic. All I can tell you is that it's set in 2047 Los Angeles (or rather, the state that it has been amalgamated into), and that at least one of the characters is gay. The reason I can't tell you as much as last time is because I don't even know where this is going. After my hard drive crashed I had time to think about where to take this story, and I decided that major change is needed.

UPDATES(January 10th 2006): As I've just stated above, some major changes will take place in the story. Heck, the prologue that is still online doesn't even relate to the current version. I rewrote that a while ago, but it got deleted for some strange reason. I've gotten rid of some characters, added some others, and made significant changes to the plot. For a while Jordan (that's 1515, by the way) was supposed to be the antogonist's son, but even I have my limits when it comes to cliches. I'm going to start writing again, but I won't be able to divert all my attention to the project until January 16th (the deadline for an important school project.) Both the prologue and the full story that are currently online will be deleted within the next month. Wish me luck, folks!

Anyway I love to talk to people, much to their annoyance, so if you wanna give me a ring then go right ahead! If any of you care to collaborate with me on something than...give me a really big ring, I'd love to work with someone on a story! Remember folks: maybe every chapter doesn't deserve a full length reveiw, but it's nice to give a simple compliment if the author deserves it. Good luck and Intelligent Design Bless!

Flying is like driving, only a lot more three-dimensional...