Jubei-chan1
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Joined 11-09-02, id: 292289
Author has written 95 stories for General, Humor, Love, School, War, and Life.
Profile Update Date
- 3/08/03 - introduction and love life section
- 3/13/03 - introduction and new rant section after music interests
- 3/20/03 - rants
- 4/02/03 - rants
- 4/07/03 - rants ... again
- 4/17/03 - love life … finally no left overs!
- 4/25/03 - rants … but not the pissy kind

Let me take this time to tell you a bit about myself. I am a student at Cal State, Fullerton. My major is Radio-TV-Film and hope someday to work for a major production company. Or more of a dream is to have my own! I write because if I didn't I'd be very bitter. I love reading anime fics (from G to NC-17ratings), and poetry. Occasionally I find myself in the TV/Movie selections but I stick with anime mostly. My interests are Hockey, Anime, Movies, Men ^_^, Music, Chinese and Thai food, Socks, Cats, and FUN!!! What else do you want to know about my life??? Hmmm … well that’s nice, but this is all that I am going to tell you.

I'll add that my poetry might seem a bit random. As in that they never seem to have a set form or meter or scheme. I write what ever comes to mind. I hardly ever review or edit them either. One reason for that is I believe that reviewing it and altering things changes that original thoughts and purpose of the free flow of ideas. The second is that after editing I have the tendency to edit it to the point that it is unrecognizable from the original and I just chuck it out. I'd rather have a crappy thought posted than not having the courage to post it. So, that’s my poem 'policy'.

I have a question and a plea to pose to those of you that read my poems. The question is this. In my early poems I wrote semi-long notes at the end of each. For the last poems, they have been absent. Do you, the readers, enjoy the notes, enjoy their absence, or would like shortened notes? It is up to you. Please, if any one is reading this, and you care to share your impute, please email me. Thanks! Oh yeah, and Please Review as much as you can! I very much enjoy responding to reviews and discussing topics of interest. So please, drop me a line whenever. Thanks!

My family is fairly functional, I love them, but I usually don't like them, and they usually don't like me so it works out. My parents were really strict when I was young, and since seem to forget that I exist at times. My brother, well we get along for a while and then we are at each other's throats the next. I relate to my dad more then my mom, I guess we share more in common than me and my mom would. I am closer to her though, simply because I see her more than I do my dad. We aren't poor and we certainly aren't rich. We are the comfortable in the middle of the middle class.

School was hell in elementary, and decent in high school, and working out pretty well in college. I hate to sound like a bitter, whiny little girl who can't let the past be the past, but that’s what I am! I am bitter that I, and people like me, had to put up with the treatment that we got. Children can be cruel, yes, but no one has to put up with it. As a result of my elementary days, I am who I am today. This is because I learned not to trust people my age, and carried that over into my high school days. There I learned that people can be trusted with reservations and exceptions made. However I still remained guarded. Never letting no more than two or three people know the whole real me. Now in college, I am just a social security number. It is so impersonal that there is little to no opportunity to meet people, and because I just don't feel the need to.

With my lack of trusting people, family and friends included, I have developed my personality. It could be viewed as severely "split". I have so many I could have "splintered" personalities. I am one person to one friend, another to a different friend, and totally different to my family. That may seem normal behavior, especially acting differently to friends and family, but it is more complicated than that. I am a fake in my own eyes, and can never seem to pin point what is truly how I am. I am so many things at once, that everything is distorted beyond repair. I am who I am though. What that is though is yet to be determined. I am a girl, I am short, I am funny, I am dramatic, I am hyper, I am emotional, I am strong, I am loud, I am annoying, I am loving, I am spiritual, I am confusing, I am so many contradictory things all in one tiny little "me" sized package.

I went to catholic private school all my life, and since then have come to believe in the catholic faith, but with reservations. My favorite movie is CONTACT, and Ellie, played by Jodie Foster, or how she is at the end of the movie, sums up my outlook on faith at the moment. You could say I believe, but its just faith, there is something missing though, whether I am looking for proof or something grander is yet to be determined.

Now I'll tell you about the juicy part of my life, my love life, or lack there of one. I will not mention names of those that I have loved or presently love, but I will explain how relationships with others have effected me. Relationships with my friends are very complicated. I had one true friend in elementary school, and one that was there when I needed someone to get me through the end. In high school I gained the friendship of a handful of people. Presently those friendships have worn thin, but there are still those that are life long bonds. I treasure my friends and hold with me every experience with them dear to my heart. Those experiences that were not so dear, and more along the line of torturous, are even closer in my mind. I hold grudges. I will hold them until I am cold in my grave. And I hope my friends understand that, but I love them no less. Confusing? Well, hold on it'll get worse probably. Love? Well, I have been in love twice. Presently I am not, and may not ever again, or at least for a long while. My last relationship, and technically my only (trust me on that one), was so draining. Yet, that year and a half was probably the happiest year and a half of my life. I have had my heartbroken just as many times that I have allowed it to be taken. Twice I have loved and twice I was hurt, badly mind you. Well, long … long story short, I made friends, fell in love, heart broken, stayed friends, been alone and miserable, fell in love, still in love, miserable and in love, heart broken, no friends, truly alone and miserable, built back friendships, and now alone and sad. Yes, I am sad, not depressed, but simply sad. I hardly write about happy things, and if I do, they are very, very sappy, and they usually embarrass me. So yeah, I am not in the running for "The Worst Luck with Love Award" but each person has the right to feel horrible about his or her life. Mine has been "blah". I want to fall in love, get married, have kids, and be happy. Now all I have to do is try again, and allow myself to. Someday, sooner than later I hope. * Well, its been a while since I posted all this stuff, and since met two really neat guys. Both I hardly ever see and both I hardly even know. I have already slept with one twice … get you mind out of the gutter. I needed a nap, and he offered to let me take a nap in his bed. So I did, so we got all cuddly and it was nice. It was nice to be so close to a man again. Any ways, see "Off Limits" to figure out the drama behind that love interest. The other is probably more obtainable, in the sense that it would be an easier and more desirable and acceptable match. He goes to CSUF also, and is a Film major. We were in acting class together. I totally dig this kid, in the way that I just really want to get to know him. Find out why he loves the movies that he does. And figure out what kind of movies he would want to make. I am very open to being friends with this guy. The other guy might just be a physical attraction, but there is more, I enjoy his company, his humor, his sincerity, and sweetness. Both are very nice kids. * Ok, lets throw some more fun stuff into this mix. I have spoken thus far about four guys. The first love (That First Pretty Face), the second love (Set Up Her Fall, Tricksy Friends and Lovers, Residual Emotions, and Irrecoverable), the nap kid (Off Limits), CSUF kid (no poem thus far), and now another one. I might not write about this one, because it’s a happy moment in my life. And if you read my top poetry topics, Love (actually being in it) is hardly ever a topic. My ‘love’ poems are angsty and illusive. I am in no way shape or form in love with this new guy, but I am thoroughly enjoying each moment spent talking, chatting with him, and find my self hoping the next time I see him is in the very near future. Its nice that I find myself not so emotionally involved as I have frequently found myself doing in the past. I believe that the last relationship, perhaps, hardened me, prepared me to guard my heart, and still be honest enough to give it a try. I think that might have made sense. I am attracted to this guy, intellectually, emotionally, and physically (Oh Dear Lord Yes, physically!). So I am taking this new interest in stride. I want thing to progress in a timely fashion. I don’t want to rush into anything, but I eagerly anticipating what is going to develop. I might get a really great friend out of this. If that is the case, I’ll just have to manage the physical attraction. I’ve done it once, I can do it again! So, as you read beyond this point, you will encounter a portion of the bio that was written before this. The emotions you will see are those that I had. While they are close behind me, I am heading in the direction to overcome the connections to past pains, and looking to enjoy what is ahead of me! Go Me!

I love men, not those in my life, because most of them hurt me, intentionally or not. Let me clarify that then, I love celebrities, sports stars, and anime men! They are so gorgeous!!! The top of the celebrity list would be Matthew McConaughey, David Duchoveny, Richard Gere, Harrison Ford, Tom Cruise, and Mel Gibson. I have a thing for older men. My sporty love interests are mainly hockey players. At the very top is Wayne Gretzky. He is my love, my life, my hero, my everything, and more. Others include Luc Robitaille, Eric Bellanger, Paul Kariya (if only you weren't a Mighty Suck of Anaheim), Felix Potvin, Adam Deadmarsh, Mike Modano, Jeremy Roenick, Ian Laperriere, Ziggy Palffy, Rob Blake, and Bryan Smolinski (if you don't notice, most of the list is made up of LA Kings or former Kings). The love for anime men is nothing that I am ashamed of. The list toppers are Vash the Stampede and Nicholas D. Wolfwood of Trigun, Spike, Gren, and Viscious of Cowboy Bebop, Hotohori, Chichiri, Nakago, and Tasuki of Fushigi Yuugi, Seiya and Mamoru of Sailor Moon Stars, Gohan and Goku of Dragon Ball Z, and Seta of Love Hina. The list would probably take forever to finish. But those are my obsessions.

The music that I am interested is pretty odd. I love and live by now the music of Cowboy Bebop. The music is a funky mix of country, jazz, rock, rhythm, blues, and funk. It is perfect for a scatterbrain like me. I enjoy musicals. My favorites are EVITA, RENT, and The Phantom of the Opera. My dad and mother both had a hand in deciding what music I listen too. From my mom I picked up the love for the Top 40 hits, all the oldies, Elvis, Randy Travis, Patsy Cline, and Roy Orbison. From my dad I now love "attack of the killer 80s" music, DEVO, Queen, the Aquabats, Nirvana, The Cars, The Romones, The Who, and the B-52s. From friends I have learned to enjoy Garbage, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, System of a Down, and Shakira. On my own I enjoy Alanis Morissette, *NSYNC, Barenaked Ladies, and most anime music from my favorite series.

Lets see what I can rant about. I don't want to run this bio as a diary, but things just pop up you know. Lets see where to start. Well, this will kinda be tied into the love life section but stands on its own pretty well. Its about leftovers. The doggy bags of feelings that just wont leave you alone. You don’t want to reheat them and you don't want to let it go to waste, so it just sits there and grows mold in the refrigerator. Well, I am notorious for that. And right now, I have so many bad thoughts in my head that I can't contain my self. Now contrary to my poem, "Dried Up Tears", I have recently cried. Not because I was sad, or hurt, or happy, but because I was lost. Not knowing what I should do next. Wanting to move on, wanting to do so badly. But, those gnawing residual feelings still hold me back. I hate it. I can't shake them. I write about it and it makes it harder to let it go. Because then the memories pop up, and its will get harder and harder to suppress them. This is all in response from the topic discussed in "Never and Possibly" and "Reciprocal Letters". I hate this so much. But I relieved that I can cry again. It gives me solace. * But now I am an emotional wreck. I am spending too much time thinking of the past, and daydreaming of the good times. Paying little attention to the reasons why the aforementioned subject and I let go of each other. I was a crutch to him in my eyes, but I wasn’t the best of people to him either towards the end. I was worn thin, as Bilbo Baggins would say, butter spread over too much bread. That’s what I was at the end of our year and a half together. But I miss him. I miss affection. I miss contact. I want it back. Not necessarily him, but I need something. Maybe him, but I am not ready to say that in all honesty and truth. I am a lonely girl, and sexually frustrated and unattractive and very very sad right now. The good times are easily thought of and cherished when that’s all that will keep me from getting any more down on myself than I already am. * So now here I am again waiting for one person to sign onto AIM and IM me. Waiting for the one person that I should never want to hear from again, and I can't help but wait. Hoping that on the other side of town, this person is thinking the same as me. But I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt that there is no conceivable possibility that that is true. My need for a connection is getting worse. Fearing that I might crack. I would turn to my mom for advice or something, but I can't. My parents have known each other since they were both in first grade. They have been together since 8th grade. My mom never had any experience with love besides my dad. How could she understand these feeling that I have? How can any one understand me exactly? I want him back, because I don't have him. I miss him. But is that the loneliness or the true sentiment speaking? I might never know. * Well, I have came to a decision. One that I am quite comfortable with. I will not dwell on the past. If it wants to resurface, then so be it. I will deal with it accordingly. But as for love, and relationships, I must live for the present. Take risks, and not be afraid to venture out and try new things. I can not allow myself to be burdened by aformentioned 'doggy bags'! So, I will attempt to allow more of my curious emotions to be let out. And not focus on the comforting pains of past relationships. Its time that this girl moved on! GO ME!!! Yeah, semi-happy stuff for once! GO ME! * Yes, I am confused once again, however, not in the usual way. I am more aware that I am the only cause for it. I can choose to stay confused or keep my head on my shoulders and accept situations for what they are. Yes, I overanalyze everything to the last word and letter. That will never change. I find comfort in anticipating reactions, consequences, and outcomes. This is in reaction to a new situation that I have never found myself in. A new dear friend of mine was discussing this with me. She noted that it is her experience that it is rare for the person she likes to return the feelings. And when it does happen, there is this confusion and unfamiliarity that creates 'oddness'. Not bad 'oddness', just different. Well, the oddness I am experiencing is a sense of being attracted to one person and then getting the distinct feeling that it is not reciprocated, and yet is still a great friendship. So in all honesty I am happy, more so than I have in a long while. This is not directly due to this new attraction, but from the side of myself that it has brought out. I realize that I am in fact a shy person, when not around very (VERY!) close friends. I find it hard for me to open up to a member of the opposite sex, unless I am a very (VERY!) close friend with them first. So, I guess what this means is I am opening up to finding new friends. Unlike but distrustful nature that I once owned, I am becoming less and less guarded, but remain shy and reserved for the sole purpose of not scaring aforementioned new person away.

I think that’s enough for a bio right now. I'll leave up a few of my favorite lists, and update you on events in my life. So, until next time, hope you enjoy my little offerings, and please feel free to leave reviews, or email me to discuss things that we might share an interest in.

Favorite Movies:
(No particular order)
CONTACT (actual #1)
Star Wars (all)
The Lord of the Rings
City of Angels
Dogma
(Too many more to list)

Favorite 80s Teen Movies:
The Breakfast Club
Pretty in Pink
Sixteen Candles
Better Off Dead
Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Favorite Books:
The Lord of the Rings
- The Fellowship of the Ring
- The Two Towers
- The Return of the King
CONTACT
Perelandra
Star Wars novels
The Hobbit

Favorite Poetry Subjects:
(No particular order)
Myself (start with what you are most familiar with)
Being alone (romantically or self-imposed)
Misunderstanding
Love (either lost or waiting to be found but never actually in it ... when I was I never write because all my emotions are out there. Its when my emotions are pent up that allow myself to write so freely.)
Stupidity

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The Stage by ni-ru reviews
A poem story about a romance which wasnt to be, with a running metaphor of a theatre.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/20/2003
Being Honest by No Calm In This Storm reviews
Very strange.Please review.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 149 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/16/2003
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Live For the First Time
A peek into a classic pairing of the good girl and the bad boy, and how the relationship is one that is both freeing and intimate. I find myself in that situation now. A good girl drawn to the bad boy, not for the trouble, but for the adventure.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 170 - Published: 10/29/2003
To Take a Risk
One that does not allow life to take its course denies oneself the luxury of risks. Risks allow for variations in life and its usual mundane route. When you fear choices you aren't experiencing the fullness of life.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 153 - Published: 10/29/2003
Life of Empty reviews
I can't find the motivation to pursue my dreams. Its so much easier to have them come true as dreams. Why make an effort to attain them, when they are real in dreams. Read and review and be thanked.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 145 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/31/2003
Sun Rays
Driving home I see clouds filling the sky. But I also see in several spots, sunlight peeking through. The clouds are moving, but not the light. Inspired I was! Here you go, a little something that isn't so depressing. Read and Review, and be thanked!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 78 - Published: 7/17/2003
Just One Word reviews
When one word is so hard to say, thing of how difficult a whole sentence would be. The poem is supposed to signify the complications that build as one procrastinates. Something so simple, never really is when its time to do it. Read and review, and be tha
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 69 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 7/17/2003
Pay No Mind to the Shadows
Though life takes us on a journey that only it knows where to, we must take it in faith, and pass through the shadows along the path. Read and review, and be thanked!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Angst/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 141 - Published: 7/17/2003
Palace of Ice
For Hockey fans! Especially LA Kings fans! I was watching the Kings game the other night, and I love these boys ... I mean men! Read and review!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 94 - Published: 7/17/2003
Cure Me reviews
Love can be a blessing - but I call it a curse. A disease. An infatuation. An obstacle of the mind. Hindering growth. I need a cure. I need an answer. I can't be in love again, I can't take the pain. Cure me please.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 237 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7/17/2003
I Dreamt the Dream reviews
All the sappy angsty love sick girly thoughts in my head. Don't deny that one or most of you have had these thoughts. Curses to myself for having them. But its life. Flame for the cheesyness of it all. But my thoughts turn to mush when I think of lovey st
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Angst/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 92 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/14/2003
I Live Her Life and She Hates Me reviews
When all I do is for her, she wants more. She wants me to live my life as she has lived hers. Well - news flash - she wasn't
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 251 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/14/2003
Feed the Fire
I'm in So. California and dying from the heat. I'm weak! What can I say? But I'm also pissed off. So in conclusion: Its hot, and I'm mad. So I was inspired. What a way to go!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 81 - Published: 7/14/2003
Performances Daily reviews
A drama queen's life. Always acting, pleasing the crowd before herself. The audience's opinion matters more than her own. Its all an act, but its real to her.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 166 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/17/2003
Your Life Passes Me By reviews
It would be better to let you go, but I can't just now. The feelings have returned and I can't just make them stop. I need you, but I still know its best to remove myself. I can't stand hurting you and myself, after it should have already healed.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 264 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/17/2003
Keep Climbing reviews
The curse of the over achiever is that sometimes one takes on more than one can handle. And the possibility of failing becomes greater. Nothing will be perfect. But the drive keeps one climbing to failure or a miracle.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 247 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/17/2003
The Thought
Thoughts are liberating and destructive. They cause panic and allow for freedom. The backlash is its ability to control. While one thinks for themselves, it is the thoughts that have the control.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 136 - Published: 6/17/2003
Frustrated reviews
A pitiful try at angst. The mere idea that I am posting this is testament to my need for attention. Any piece of rubbish to gain attention. No matter the size. But no matter, it may never be mine.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Angst/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 44 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/17/2003
Busy Signal reviews
When you have the distict feeling that you are being avoided. You want to just ask the person what you did wrong, but they are no where to be found. They have their phone off the hook. They do not answer their emails. You get the busy signal every time. R
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 173 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5/22/2003
Dream State reviews
Why must one sleep? Why do people love their dreams and others hate them? What drives people to enjoy sleep besides the biological necessity? Follow me into my reasonings. Read and review and be thanked.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 147 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/22/2003
When Was It
A very bland list of questions and options leading up to a guestion posed to the offender. When were you there for me? Where were you when I needed you the most? Read and review and be thanked.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Published: 4/22/2003
Duty to Death reviews
One of the two certain things in the world is death. When it is near will I know? Will I accept it? Will I go willingly? Will I be able to stop it? Read and Review and be thanked!
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 161 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4/21/2003
Expectations reviews
A small set of instances when I am forced into situations for love. But much more than I am willing to compromis to is being asked of me. I won't stand down! Read and review and be thanked!
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 138 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4/17/2003
Beneficial Risk
When is it ok to take the next step in a relationship? Can it be decided by one person? Can I be mindful of the other person's wishes, when I know what I want? Read and Review, and be thanked!
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 136 - Published: 4/17/2003
My Journey reviews
Too many things distract you on your road. Too many obstacles hinder your progress. When love adds to the complications, one must decide if it makes a necessary distraction, or one that can be done without. Read and review, thanks!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 161 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/6/2003
If You Would reviews
Have you been so nervous to ask forgivness? Have you just wanted to make things better by snapping your fingers? If you could, would you? If I asked, would I be forgiven?
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Angst/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 114 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/6/2003
Eyes to Your Shoes reviews
Very random 'poem' about the encounter with the former love. It happened. We spoke and we both were unharmed. I though left a little emotionally off balance. So I focused by looking at his shoes. He looked good though. Darn thoughts!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 303 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4/5/2003
Irrecoverable reviews
When you remember the good times, the things that went wrong are remembered as well the things that you now regret more than anything. Needing to be forgiven for so many reasons, but not finding the courage to lay your open heart out on the line. My oppor
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 182 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4/5/2003
Physically Alone reviews
A pen and paper is as close to a confession as I will get. Physically I want to see you, hold you, and touch you as I once did. Emotionally I want to have a connection, one that I can all a love. But I am alone, emotionally and therefore physically as wel
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 123 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/5/2003
Play the Fool
Pay attention to me. I need affection. I am loud. I am pretty. I am everything you can ask for. But not for love, that is reserved for one person alone. But time does not allow the luxury. I need attention where I can find it. Love is not an option
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 142 - Published: 4/5/2003
Loose Ends reviews
The traditional kiss goodbye, whether is for only a day or for forever, its tradition. I did get one, but I hurt so much at the time that now I can't remember it. I missed my kiss goodbye. I have no closure. Read and review, thanks.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 73 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/4/2003
In Anticipation reviews
I was waiting for a message. I was told to stick around. There was something important that needed to be told. It turns out it never came. This was written while I was waiting. Maybe it was meant to embarrass me now that its done. But I gue
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 192 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/4/2003
Simplicity of Life reviews
I had a life that could have been comfortable, then I met you. And the disturbance was welcomed, for a time. Now that I have had my time away from you, I feel the need to have it back in my life. Read and review, thanks!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 193 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/4/2003
Arouse the Chaos reviews
This was written while listening to 'The Wold' from '.hack//SIGN' This song moved me like 'Blue' of 'Cowboy Bebop' did. This poem is a movement. It is supposed to allow my hand to type exactly where my body wanted to move. Read and review, and be thanked!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 104 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/4/2003
Morning Eyes reviews
I woke up earlier than I had wanted to. Hints of sunlight filtered through my horizontal blinds. I begged for more time, but more and more sun shown thought the blinds. So I got up and wrote about my awakening. A slight sexual meaning if you read a lot in
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 77 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/27/2003
At The Races reviews
People run to class, jam to work, rush through life. And if you don’t go above the speed limit you get left behind. Play the game, get caught up in it. That’s life. Leave a review if you have the time! Thanks!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 77 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/27/2003
You Can Not Reach reviews
I was insulted by a complete stranger. And it got to me. I let the stranger's criticism hurt me. But I didn't stay hurt for long, instead I got mad! I got pissed, and the stranger heard about it. It was wonderful! Read and Review, and be thanked!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Drama/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 209 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/26/2003
Addicted to the Past reviews
More rants from me about feeling for a past love. Oh the horror of it all, and it makes for some really bad poetry. That should be incentive enough to make me stop thinking about him. If only it was that easy? Read and review, if you want.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Angst/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 263 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/26/2003
Make a Disturbance reviews
This is a little comment on me. I hate dressing up, but I do it often to prove that I can look like a woman. I always rise to challenges. But then again, doing so makes me feel sick. I hate following constraints.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 147 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3/20/2003
Keep Me from the Dark reviews
I needed to be saved from the surrounding darkness. It creeps ever closer. It will devour me, unless someone comes. Who will lead me from the darkness? Read and review, thanks you.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3/20/2003
Asleep In Your Arms reviews
This is a poem wanting to remember a more pleasing recent event. I won't be a slave to the past, and will turn my eyes to that on the horizon. To a man that held me while I slept. Read and review. Thanks for listening to my rants thus
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 236 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3/19/2003
Lovers for a Single Moment reviews
I'd give anything to feel this way. One final time. One last moment as lovers. Together.
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/19/2003
Residual Emotions reviews
I saw a former lover after some time. And emotions bubbled up from the bottom of a very dark pit, that I was hoping to be bottomless. Ensuing was a flurry of feelings and thoughts that I wish would leave me. I know too much now to go ba
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 188 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/19/2003
Between Former Lovers reviews
In one night, one freaking night, my emotions have been turned upside down, tossed in every freaking' conceivable direction possible. If you have read my bio about my love life, and other poems on the subject of this poem, then you'
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Angst/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 295 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/19/2003
Doom Doom reviews
"Doom Doom" The sounds of conflict, and impending war actions. This was inspired by J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" and the present world situation, on the brink of war.
Poetry: War - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/19/2003
Reciprocal Letters
I recieved an email from an ex. It was simple, no emotion, but I felt some. And I shivered at the though. Read and review, thanks.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Angst/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 110 - Published: 3/13/2003
Never and Possibly reviews
Rethinking things. Or more correctly, remembering and understanding a failed romance. Saddened by the results, but accepting of the fall out. Its a huge loss, but an even bigger gain. Read and review, thanks.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Angst/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 106 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/13/2003
Strangers Unfamiliar
Taken from the same setting as, "Man Sitting Across From Me", but a different day and different subjects. Watching people stand around is very inspiring. Read and review! Thanks!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 93 - Published: 3/13/2003
Cornered
I was sitting in a corner, and had a pen and paper with me, so I did what any other sane person would. I wrote about it. Read and review! What is your corner like?
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 145 - Published: 3/13/2003
Two Days Two Men
Two days were spent with two different men. Both I hold/held emotions for. Those emotions collide after two days of confusion and fun. Read and review. Thanks!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 168 - Published: 3/6/2003
The Man Sitting Across From Me reviews
I was waiting for class to start and so was another guy. I have seen him in class before and I was intrigued. Not in a physical attraction but a perked interest. So I wrote about him.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 99 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/6/2003
Repetition reviews
I was sitting in my class that I amways seem to zone out in and start writing. Well, here is another poem reflecting just how I was feeling. Read and review and receive many thanks!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 73 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3/6/2003
Beauty Scorecard reviews
Always under the microscope. Being judged and held up to the standards that the almighty and unknown god of perfection has created. Read and review. Related poem - While We're Talking
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 125 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/6/2003
Moving Language
Summary not needed. Its short enough as it is! Read and review! ^_^
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 24 - Published: 3/6/2003
Brief Fantasy
Turned on by the smallest of things. Passing by a person and fantasizeing the possibilities. The sexual implications but more of a fantasy. Read and review.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 128 - Published: 3/5/2003
Tricksy Friends and Lovers reviews
My love left me, it was mutually decided. A friend has since then taken a liking to him, but she should know better. And she is hiding it from me. Being betrayed is never taken lightly! Read and review!
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 185 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/27/2003
Professor Cliches
Pretty words inspire people to greatness, but when they have been spouted out about a million times they start to lose meaning. Read and review.
Poetry: School - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 129 - Published: 2/27/2003
The Side Effects reviews
If you have read "Miracle Drug" then you might want to read this as a follow up. Can be read on its own, but this was inspired by a review asking my wether the miracle had side effects.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 94 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/27/2003
A Man's Shoe Size reviews
You know what they say about guy's with big feet. They wear big socks and big shoes. Men just want to be manly. Read and review.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 63 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/27/2003
Rock Me to Sleep reviews
The cooling breath of nature lulls you to sleep. A lullaby can be heard rustling through the trees. Read and review!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 86 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/25/2003
Miracle Drug reviews
I can fix your pains. I want to be there for you. The only price is that I don't settle for half, I'll need your everything. Thats what you'll get in return. Read and review ... its kinda confusing.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 96 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 2/25/2003
Never As Deeply reviews
I was connected to a love more than physically. It was a sick partnership. I was left drained and broken. Never wating to be feel that deeply again.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 137 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/24/2003
Dawn's Guiding Light reviews
When all hope seems lost, dawn creeps over the plains and the light rises high into the heavens, uplifting the hopes of men as well.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 184 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/24/2003
His Passing a Blessing reviews
Theme of death, and how one might not always see that as a bad thing, especially when the deceased wasn't that cared about when he was alive. Read and review, thanks.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 203 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/24/2003
Until the Sadness Lifts reviews
I am so used to pretending to be happy, its no wonder people have a hard time figuring me out. Waiting until I am not sad is like trying to fill a hole riddled jar with water. Read and review.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 150 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2/24/2003
Outpouring Heart reviews
Its hard for me to deal with the drama of my life, its harder still when I can't confide in my best friend. For one as emotional as I am, I desperatly need him to understand. Read and review.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 161 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2/24/2003
My Silouhette reviews
I am a caged animal in my own skin. The silouhette in the window has more freedom than I do in the real world. Read and review. Thanks!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 88 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/22/2003
Men in the Movies
The love from men in my daily life is no londer dependable, so I am going to love then men that will never betray me. Check my profile to se what I mean. Read and review!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 82 - Published: 2/22/2003
Wear and Tear reviews
The many uses of s shirt. Clothing, armor, painting canvas, numerous possibilities! Read and review!
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 89 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/22/2003
A Year Ago This Day
A tribute to a date that will live forever in my mind. The day that I met the love of my life (see subject of Ice Blue)! It rhymes!!! Read and review.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 218 - Published: 2/22/2003
Deceitful Images reviews
You yearn for perfection and to be greater that you are now, and the mirrior allows you to dream and wonder. But it lies and seduces and tricks. Read and review.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Angst/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 146 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/22/2003
The Coward
All that a person uses to hide their true identity is compromising their charater. That fake. That coward. That deserter.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 95 - Published: 2/22/2003
Bed of Stone and Diamonds reviews
Both would be uncomfortable, but the satisfaction from the diamonds would make the pain bearable. This is just a little social criticism. Read and review.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 293 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/22/2003
Ice Blue reviews
For the love of my life, read to find out who! When that person's eyes can make you feel everything and more with out physical contact. Read and review and enjoy!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 260 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2/20/2003
Not For You reviews
When I am pushed aside, I instantly want to lash right back. Sling one or two insults, or prove the other party dead wrong. But I don't back down for any one.
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 240 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/20/2003
Leading Questions reviews
Fluffy romance. Read for a quick and very rare glance into my girly view on romance and love, not like my other angsty stuff! Pure fluff!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 191 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/20/2003
Off Limits reviews
He should have been off limits, but I was weak, and he was beautiful. If she found out, I'd surley wish I was in hell instead. Read and review.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 469 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/17/2003
Plots of Betrayal reviews
Stalking shadows sometimes take the form of a friend turned ememy. This is the account of my growing suspicions and distrust of a dear friend. Read and review!
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 273 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/17/2003
Set Up Her Fall reviews
She was a girl in love, and he was a boy obsessed. She needed out, but had to break away from the pedestal her had her chained to. Read and review.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 316 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/17/2003
My Little Socks I Love reviews
Its the little things that just get you through the day. For me it is socks! I love them! Please if you have a love for any kind of nic-nack you know what I am talking about!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 148 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/17/2003
Give me a tie or Give me death reviews
Hell hath no furry like me and my anger. If I want to wear a tie, I should be able to without any one giving it a second thought. Rated for use of one word. Read and review and revolt!!! Humor genre because it made me laugh!
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 431 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/16/2003
That First Pretty Face reviews
Don't be to eager to give your heart away, listen to my little story. I love this poem on a personal note, because it is something that I haven't been able to admit to myself for a long time.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 334 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 2/16/2003
Dried Up Tears reviews
It is painful when not even the familiarity of tears can offer solace to a breaking heart. You are left alone with out a release that you once employed. Read and review and be much appreciated!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Angst/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 432 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/16/2003
Murkey Slumber reviews
Memories find a way to haunt you in your dreams. They seems to be hidden in symbols and shapes. In dreams the darkness of the mind plays. Read and Review
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 263 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/16/2003
Crescendo reviews
When music moves you, you tend to give it meaning. When the right music hits you, you can gice it a life of its own, for good or bad. Read and review!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 251 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/16/2003
Perhaps reviews
When you're as lonely as I am you find yourself writing things like this, and admitting truths that you'd rather have kept hidden. Thanks for reading.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Angst/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 345 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 2/16/2003
Missing Who I Was
Heartbreak after the loss of a lover. But the ensuing freedom from a suffocating relationship. Please read and review and be sure to enjoy!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 409 - Published: 2/16/2003
Gone Too Soon reviews
This is an older poem; I wrote this in high school. Death will separate loved ones physically, but bonds can survive even the farthest distances. R&R
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 212 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/16/2003
Quality of Eyes reviews
Ever have people just stare at you and then divert their eyes when you notice them? Well, I was inspired to write about it happening to me, and expanding on it. Read and Review!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 239 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/13/2003
That Cheap Feeling reviews
I hate this poem for all the anger it released from me, and yet I owe it many thanks. Vent! Rage! Don't follow the taunting message of this poem! R&R! Thanks!
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 267 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2/7/2003
Entitled to Imaturity reviews
Being pissy never felt this good. Anger is easier to yell. I want to yell at my ex, and here I have a chance to. R&R! No apoligies for my "immaturity".
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 337 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 1/28/2003
When My Head Hurts reviews
Ever think so much that your head hurts? Ever miss someone so much but like the pain? R/R Greatly appreciated!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 206 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 11/27/2002
Wish For You reviews
Wishing for something does not guarantee it will be granted. Shooting stars don't actually have special powers. R/R please!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 193 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 11/27/2002
Freaks reviews
By no means is this a complete list, but the last line ties it nicely.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 219 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/25/2002
While We're Talking reviews
This is for all those who are feeling insecure at the moment, or for those that are always insecure.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 185 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11/25/2002
House Of Books reviews
Sick of being second best? I was, so I wrote this to vent about someone who was worshiped for only being a brain and not an actual person.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 155 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11/25/2002
The Ignored reviews
For those that find themselves alone in the corner most of the times.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 158 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/25/2002