Animagess
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Joined 11-29-02, id: 301962
Author has written 37 stories for Manga, Work, Humor, Humor, General, Mythology, Fantasy, Life, Love, School, Haiku, Religion, War, Supernatural, General, Fantasy, Horror, and Fable.
I'm 16, Christian, Canadian, and hungry. Check out my art tutorials at Akemi's Anime World.

~~~Updates for July 30, 2004~~~
-Beh, I have no idea what I'm doing. Go read some of my old stuff.

Old updates:
-New short story, "Henry the Wanderer". A little something to sate the appetites of those who wish Animagess would get off her lazy butt and update The Fantasy Chronicles. Go review, minions 'o mine!
-New short story, "Dream No. 7".
-"Five Men In The Desert", an incredibly and unabashedly religious allegory. Prepare to be offended... or tickled.
-New poem added to the Really Bad Angst collection: "Blood Filled Heart!".
-SAIN CH. 20 UP!! I am smoooth. Go review.
-New short story, "No More Coincidences". Oh my gosh, ninjas! Oh my gosh, DRUNKS!! Oh my gosh, MORE NINJAS!!

~~~Stats as of July 30. 2004~~~
No. of stories archived: 37
Highest review count for one story: 216 (The Fantasy Chronicles!)
Lowest review count for one story: 2 (Dream No. 7, No More Coincedences)
Total no. of reviews: ?
Reviews submitted: 400
No. of people who have me on their Fav. Authors list: 73 (love each an' every one of ya...)

(I think everyone should have this information on their bios, unless they have a good reason not to. So if you get them up, tell me! I love knowing these things...)

Fanfiction: Yu-Gi-Oh, Invader Zim, Donnie Darko

~~~Personal Stuff~~~
Author Spotlight: Roger Zelazny
Movie Spotlight: Our Man Flint (1966)
Book Spotlight: Altered Carbon by some guy whose name I can't recall
Comic Spotlight: Bill and Ted's Most Excellent Comic Book by Evan Dorkin

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Library Book Molester by razzberry reviews
Yeah, there's always those people who swear like fishwives, write like graffiti, and make our beloved books near to impossible to read. My reponse to them..moderately funny but a little crude.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 387 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Published: 3/14/2004
Crayons by Read Me First reviews
A short little drabble. Interaction between father and daughter.
Fiction: Kids - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 102 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/6/2003
Words of an Artist by Audrey Black reviews
okay, now its a lil better
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 237 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 7/27/2003 - Published: 6/28/2003
ATTACK, ATTACK, ATTACK by Pinkaminga reviews
The product of my whimsical, violent, charming nature.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 177 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Published: 7/23/2003
Inc Incorperated by Nyaa reviews
A bit of random fluff parodying advertisments, all advertisements, though I wrote it with bus advertisements in mind.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 533 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/13/2003
Poem from my journal by Djangotheclown reviews
If i was the last person on this planet, what would happen
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 90 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/25/2003
Purgatory by ubercognito reviews
Euuu, perspectives of a bunch of people in a bar. So far, Chapter One is posted. PG for mild language, and later some semi-sad themes.
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 740 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/11/2003
The 13th Castle by Lowell Boston reviews
No matter how bad you have it. Someone has it worse.
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 148 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/24/2003
Happy Friggin' Birthday To Me by Willum reviews
A man experiances the birthday from hell.... (hopefully you'll find this funny)
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,044 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 9 - Published: 11/17/2000
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Henry the Wanderer, Or Something reviews
Henry is on a quest to find the Hand of Fate. It's hard. Really hard. So hard the gods are beginning to think Henry'll need all the help he can get... May become a collection of short stories. Review copiously, my readership!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,339 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/7/2004
Dream No 7 reviews
Third of a collection of short stories. A man has a dream that starts with a vacation to New Orleans, which then ends in tragedy. Things get weirder thereafter. Please review.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,187 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 6/7/2004 - Published: 6/6/2004
Five Men in the Desert reviews
WARNING: Contains metaphorical religious content! Prepare to be offended, irritated or just gloat that someone's on your side. Please read the second chapter before reviewing.
Fiction: Fable - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,701 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 5/10/2004 - Published: 5/7/2004
Sain reviews
Michael Sain needs to get a life, and if it has to take a woman in a white dress, a wizened dinosaur with a cigar and a strange cult to get it for him, so be it... PLEASE REVIEW! Ch. 20 UP
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 20 - Words: 20,910 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 5 - Updated: 5/8/2004 - Published: 5/27/2003
The Really Bad Angst Collection! reviews
Blood! Death! The horror of mortality! Why my life sucks! ...and all the other really funny stuff. It's self-expression gone hideously wrong. Please review so I will not be sad.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 1,747 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 5/8/2004 - Published: 2/6/2004
No More Coincidences reviews
This short story begins with a dark and stormy night, ends with firey death, and probably goes back to being dark and stormy. Somewhere in the middle is a plot of some sort. Please review!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,159 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4/12/2004
Special Delivery reviews
A short story about a man, his wife, their saturnine son and a supernatural pizza delivery boy. Proving once again that people get what they deserve. Please review!
Fiction: Horror - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,664 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/11/2004
Happy Birthday to Me reviews
I turned 16 on March 19, 2004. This poem is about my birthday-tastic adventures, and also indicates I'm still alive. Rated PG for references to femurs. Please review, even if your head implodes.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 231 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 3/22/2004
drunk off a glass of water: A Collection reviews
Chapter order puts newest poems first. Newest additions: god from the answering machine (a lyrical message from you-know-who). Please review.
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,234 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 2/29/2004 - Published: 7/16/2003
With Papers In Order reviews
Ah, the twisted jungle of the beaucracy. Sign this, file that... If you have the time, I highly reccomend the Terry Gilliam film 'Brazil'. But before you do, please review.
Poetry: Work - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 325 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2/12/2004
This Lethal Combination reviews
To put it eloquently, this is why verbal communication sucks. A light blend of satirical bite and nonsense. Review and thou shalt not regret it!
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 223 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/3/2004
The Fantasy Chronicles! reviews
In a world containing excessive amounts of capital letters, The Dark Coming has arrived quite unexpectedly. Now the kingdom's only hope are the Five Legendary Mystical Items, A Prophecy and The Chosen One. Sound familiar? Please review! CH. 16 UP!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 16 - Words: 24,662 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 48 - Updated: 1/8/2004 - Published: 6/9/2003
Never Say Forever reviews
Never say you love them. Never say you'll be there. Never say they'll make it. Never say forever. Please review.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Angst/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 259 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/11/2003
The Janitor reviews
A short moment of awe at a prestigious awards ceremony for the highly accomplished. Please review.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 320 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/6/2003
The Sandman's Curse reviews
A man is bestowed both immortality and eternal insomnia at the same time. Imagine infinity without sleep. Imagine existence lying awake forever. Life is one neverending night, and he just wants to go to bed... Please review.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,467 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 11/6/2003 - Published: 7/2/2003
My Personal Apocalypse reviews
What would you do with the End of the World? This poem won me a school contest and $10. Yummy. Please review!
Poetry: Fantasy - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 384 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 6 - Published: 11/6/2003
The Survivor reviews
"If I woke up tomorrow and the world had ended..." The strange tale of what one boy would do in the face of the Apocalypse. Please review.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 361 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 8/25/2003
It's a Crime to be Normal reviews
Written in defence of the so-called 'typical' popular kids whom everyone seems to loathe so much. Peel away the plastic and you'll find something completely different. My bittersweet views on 'weirdness'. Please review.
Poetry: School - Rated: K - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 971 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/15/2003
Beneath the Window reviews
The morbid account of a death at midnight and the person responsible. I only put it in General because the other categories of the Poetry section are inadequate for the content of this piece. Please review!
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 387 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/25/2003
The Last Party reviews
The song "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" gets a rather morbid make-over. Not a story, but not really poetry either... Please review.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 242 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 7/19/2003
The War That Never Happened reviews
If you could go back in time and change the past so that a war never happened, would you do it? And what would be the consequences of that change? Please review.
Poetry: War - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 410 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7/7/2003
20 Ways To Prove God's Love in the End reviews
If you've ever doubted His existance or denied it outright, this one's for you. Dedicated to non-believers and athiests, but believers are just as welcome to it. Feedback is extremely appreciated.
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,136 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 5 - Updated: 7/6/2003 - Published: 7/3/2003
Oh! Super Shukumorinebanzai no Chikara Love Apples reviews
A boy sits down to write the Ultimate Manga-type Story (whatever that means) with the help of a Guidebook and his cynical sister Reader. A satire on the Western Otaku (whatever that is). Please review!
Fiction: Manga - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,620 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/3/2003
I Ku, You Ku, We All Ku For Haiku! reviews
A tortured man becomes obsessed with finding the plural of 'haiku'. The title is a quote from the alternative comic "Too Much Coffee Man", in case you want to know. The actual haiku is in the second chapter. Please review!
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 466 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/29/2003
The Druggies On the Bus Go Back and Forth reviews
A conversation overheard by two druggies sitting behind us on the way home from school. Guess what they were talking about. Reviews extremely appreciated.
Poetry: School - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 382 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/27/2003
The Vandal reviews
Some day, when you look around your graffitied bathroom stalls or your egg-dripped dingy double doors, you'll understand why they do it. Reviews are extremely appreciated.
Poetry: School - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 143 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 6/25/2003
Communication reviews
Nobody will ever understand you. I wrote it one day when I felt I couldn't communicate to anyone and no human being was ever going to get inside my head. Reviews will be extremely appreciated.
Poetry: Work - Rated: K - English - Angst/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 488 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 6/25/2003
Weather Report reviews
A man's emotions are reflected in the weather patterns on the weather channel. Please review.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 319 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/14/2003
Sorrow Is So Demanding reviews
There are many people on FP.com whose lives apparently suck. This is for them, and for those who wonder... Please review, if ye feel the need.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 468 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 6/12/2003 - Published: 6/11/2003
In Passing reviews
A short poem detailing a brief moment of terror and paranoia on the highway. Climatic build-up? You betcha. Don't forget to review.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 131 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 5/29/2003
The New Myth reviews
Four gods decide to create the perfect universe... well, three of them, at least. Written to parody the style of the Holy Bible, but not meant to offend. May be continued. Please review!
Fiction: Mythology - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,122 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/26/2003
Running The Whole Gamut reviews
This story won me the Gold medal and fifty bucks in my local library writing contest for teens, as well as some other stuff. Was it that good? A girl meets a guy named Crow on a bus ride to Edmonton, and they talk... It's a sort of a philosophical road
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,242 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/14/2003
Shakespeare Rewritten Via Doctor Suess reviews
If the funeral speeches from Shakespeare's Julias Caesar were rewritten by Dr. Suess, this is what would happen. Sure, I coulda put it under the Historical category, but would anyone read it? Originally a school assignment. Please review!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,307 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 3/1/2003
The Poet Hater's Poem reviews
Poets... Who needs 'em, anyway?
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 233 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/27/2003
The Cycle of Nothing Much At All reviews
There's nothing... and there's nothing. And then there's society... which is nothing much. See? It's all relative. Please review!
Poetry: Work - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 396 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/27/2003
A Rurouni's Breakfast reviews
What might have been a proposal for the production of yet another samurai anime is quickly dumped into the arms of the public (because no one wanted it). Ano Mireuchi has been disowned and cursed by his family for refusing to eat their breakfast cereal...
Fiction: Manga - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,832 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 1/19/2003 - Published: 1/7/2003
Mainstream Lament reviews
This fic is dedicated to all the anime purists out there- For those who have rebelled against Sailor Moon's frequent sex changes, DBZ's censored violence, and Escaflowne's short, crippled run on the air... Here's to the elite.
Fiction: Manga - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 702 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 1/17/2003