Forest Passant
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Joined 01-18-03, id: 328002
Author has written 34 stories for Sci-Fi, Humor, Life, Fantasy, Essay, General, Humor, and Play.

Some random facts that may or may not help you understand me better:

"We're dorks/And we're proud of it." (Credit goes partially to a cheerleader friend)

I am an evolutionist who believes in creation, a libertarian socialist, and an elitist populist.

I am elitist but not elite.

I believe in swordfish.

"If you don't know, then explaining it wouldn't help." Some character in Diane Duane's The Door into Fire.


Later I'll add reviewer quotes, but I have to find them first.
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The Giant Radioactive Monkey Show by MrPresident reviews
A Series of Comedy Sketches from the Giant Radioactive Monkey Team
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 56 - Words: 45,688 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 38 - Updated: 12/13/2006 - Published: 12/10/2002
Leo and Gemini: Season 1 by Leo Damascus reviews
The recepie for comedy: just mix in two guys, two girls, a monkey, and a talking cookie, then enjoy. Please R & R!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 13,036 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 5/19/2005 - Published: 6/5/2004
Random Idiocies by Lykaios reviews
Just dumb stuff that pops into my head. hmmm...pop...nummy...
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,333 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 3/29/2005 - Published: 10/15/2004
Craptown Chronicles by Lola Quigley reviews
Welcome to Craptown, a city filled with derelects, junkies, drug dealers, and prostitutes. Each installment of this story focuses on a different resident of the city, including characters like Penny Prostitute, Doug Dealer, Pimpin Pete, and many more.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,362 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 12/14/2004 - Published: 4/21/2003
Son of the East Wind by Zoi no miko reviews
Take one mercenary mage. Add an apprentice stolen out of the slave trade. Place in middle of holy war. Sprinkle liberally with slash. ^_^ (On going)
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 121,772 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 2/8/2004 - Published: 5/22/2001
GAZEEEEM! by Oort reviews
Yayy! You noticed my story. This is pure insanity and randomness, by the way. PLEASE R&R! I am grateful to all reviewers and promise them Oreo's. PLEASE REVIEW! chapter 2 up! The Final Fronteir, or Final Flight of The Apricot. The final chapter!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,916 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 9/18/2003 - Published: 9/6/2003
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Forever reviews
This is basically total nonsense... ch3 up; the plot congeals like Jello in the refrigerator. Read it, it's dumb.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,152 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8/28/2005 - Published: 8/21/2005
Why Liberal's Suck! reviews
why liberal's suck
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,381 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 1/20/2005 - Published: 1/16/2005
Why I Cannot Support John Kerry reviews
Just what the title says. 500-word-ish essay on-wait for it-why I don't support John Kerry. Flames encouraged. PG 'cause I think I call Bush a butthole.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 533 - Reviews: 25 - Published: 10/30/2004
Political Rants of the Cheesemonkey reviews
I've been wanting to do this for awhile... political rantings are what i do best... anyway, chapter 3 up, the usa patriot act.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,416 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 7/10/2004 - Published: 6/26/2004
Aftereffects of Harnessing Nuclear Power reviews
The long-awaited (yeah, right) SEQUEL to Return to Insanity, but I don't think it's as good as the first two. please r&r. Basically, Diane & company have to save a four-tailed pink and orange cat from an evil dude.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,302 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 6/26/2004 - Published: 10/26/2003
Loserville reviews
Dude's going to San Francisco when he finds he's stuck in Loserville. I'm awful at summaries.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,895 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 6/26/2004 - Published: 1/31/2004
i wanna be cool reviews
Narrator is a pathetic geek who thinks she needs to be 'cool.' I don't know why I wrote this.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,553 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 6/20/2004 - Published: 1/24/2004
The 7 Demons of Word reviews
A completely insane story I came up with... I don't know why. Seven demons possess a guy named Clarence...but i'm giving away the good part. Read at your own risk.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 632 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/20/2004
Summer reviews
I wrote this a year ago and found it under my mattress... it's about death or summer vacation... kinda weird...
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 148 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 6/5/2004
pissed reviews
My little testament to how fun it can be to be angry. Mild language... I wrote this for english.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 268 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6/5/2004
how to fix a portable cd player reviews
Something I wrote while grounded. Kinda funny. Not that good.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 510 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 4/24/2004
The Internet for Morons reviews
Written to explain just why I'm not particularly afraid of perverts on the internet. Or rabid fascists. Or viruses.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 517 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 3/20/2004
The Path reviews
About a fork in the road and a choice. Heavily influenced by Robert Frost, except not nearly as good. Also doesn't rhyme.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 91 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3/20/2004
How the Protest got its Song reviews
How the protest song was born. I debated for seconds on whether to post this... tell me if it's good.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,081 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3/20/2004
Peaches reviews
A writer is kidnapped by an insane dude named Jonathan. Includes a very stupid chief of police. PG13 just in case anything interesting happens...
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,021 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 3/20/2004 - Published: 12/13/2003
Pick N Save reviews
Chard and Lacey are rehearsing the musical Love at the Pick N Save... which is an original creation. Stupidly funny.
Fiction: Play - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 552 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 1/31/2004
River in Egypt reviews
Narrator tries to convince ppl that she did not have a major revelation while sleeping. short, simple, and stupid. thought of it in the locker room.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 320 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 1/24/2004
TheResultOfUtterBoredom reviews
Written during extremely boring English class. Read if you feel like laughing at something dumb.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 262 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 12/13/2003
The Day George Microwaved It All reviews
King of the Hill is canceled. A stupid man waits by a button. It All is microwaved. Definitely completely different. Really. and there was an obvious mistake in the first paragraph caused by an overactive thesaurus. sorry.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 285 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/22/2003
Five Fundamental Truths reviews
Extremely short, and extremely true. I think so anyway. It's only fifty-seven words... read.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 58 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 11/15/2003
Vicious Cycle reviews
This is the worst poem anyone has ever read. YAY FOR IT! this is my first attempt at actual poetry... and i'm not a poet. but read it anyway...
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 252 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 11/1/2003
and all for the want of cheese reviews
Sparky the housecat needs cheese. Very random, very stupid, and very, very under the influence of caffeine. please r&r.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 776 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/1/2003
My Philosophy reviews
Just what I think about life... please r&r, like it or hate it... umm... it's short!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 242 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/1/2003
short&stupid reviews
Two Undenominational Spouses, a pirate radio show, a very sexy cat, and making fun of pop music and tATu. couldn't be better. or actually, couldn't be worse. just read. lyrics taken from that one tATu song.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 370 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/25/2003
The Boring Adventures of X reviews
exactly what the title says. boring, pointless, and useless. don't read it. please r&r
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 784 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9/28/2003
The Ham Conspiracy reviews
The truth is finally revealed-no not THAT one-the ham will be TAKING OVER THE WORLD!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 593 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/21/2003
Josh In Hell reviews
What happens when giant radioactive sloths take over a plane, a reasonably prudent person falls into a puddle of mashed banana, and a spark of static electicity accidentally blows the whole thing up? I replace ch3 with a better one, that's what.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,501 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 9/21/2003 - Published: 9/7/2003
Return to Insanity reviews
Sequel to Nonsensicality, with longer chapters, new characters... Read Nonsensicality first. PG for edible underpants and... yeah. R&R-FINISHED
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 15 - Words: 11,007 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 9/7/2003 - Published: 8/23/2003
The Leader reviews
after the insane Leader starts climate control, Kitty decides to do something about it... but it isn't very smart to get on the leader's bad side now is it? rated for slash, violence, mild language. chapter 17 EDITED*COMPLETE*
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 25,569 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 9/7/2003 - Published: 5/26/2003
Just Another Love Story reviews
a lame story i wrote when i was bored. don't read it if you know what's good for you. please r&r.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 565 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9/6/2003
dreamfantasy reviews
this is about the weirdest thing ever written-it starts out as a dream i had a really long time ago, then goes into a storm, then goes to a kind of a weird... well i'll let you find out... PG for... suggestive... umm... at the end...
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 383 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8/23/2003
Nonsensicality reviews
She (yet unnamed, suggestions? please) finds a book in the library... Basically spoofs a whole bunch of random stuff... will have a plot, i promise.. but later... R&R plz- chapter 15 up-which is the end-you'd better review if you want a sequel people.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 15 - Words: 5,698 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 8/17/2003 - Published: 8/3/2003
The Elevator reviews
Lisa is trapped in an elevator for two days with a Jehovah's Witness. PG for safety
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,495 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 8/16/2003 - Published: 8/10/2003
The Computer reviews
I was bored-what can I say? About a dream I had-well, part of a dream anyway. Really strange... (Later) sorry this might sound kind of like ERROR. Honestly i did NOT copy...
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 218 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 7/12/2003