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Joined 02-01-03, id: 336599
Author has written 16 stories for Mystery, Humor, Sci-Fi, Life, Humor, and General.
Hello! I'm Kelsey and I'm a the points! My Evelyn story but is kinda stupid :S, but tell me what you would like to see changed and what you think. FEEDBACK! BHWA! I love it...:D. Well I love people who R/R b/c if you do...I read your stuff if you're not anonymous :). Now for my BE-EWTEEFUL/beautemous (whichever you prefer...) profile! I'm bored.

AGE!: 14/Grade 9
HEIGHT!: 5'1'' (WHOOO! 5 foot!)
STATE!: Illinois ('s' is silent stupid non-Illinoisians :P)
HAIR!: Dark Brown
EYES!: Dark Brown (hmmm...interesting...)
HOBBIES! Dancing, writing
WEIRD HABITS! One is being obsessed with hygiene (I hate dirt and anything that feels grimy) and I bite my nails constantly (which isn't exactly weird but it's a habit!).

FAVORITE THINGS! Spongebob! He's awesome he's just so hot with his little tie and his square naw. Patrick's better...;)



LEAST FAVORITE THINGS! The Lizzie McGuire Movie! So here's a parody of it! That the worst movie I have ever seen in my life...Even if it WASN'T Hilary Duff (the talentless being that she is) it still would have been really bad. Her whiny voice hurts my hoo! Her career is going down the drain...I really don't give a crap but you know what, that's entirely up to you...alright let's move on...

WORST PURCHASE EVER MADE! I went to an Elms concert and I purchased a $20 shirt before the show started and I'm like, "I better like them because I bought this!" Well, they weren't TOO bad...they were just scary. They weren't rock n' roll as they said they'd be (false advertisement) and they were just plain freaky. The lead singer was hot I'd say...but...yea they were freaky, those of you who were there UNDERSTAND. The whole shushing freaky thing with the head thing...weird. But yea I won't wear that shirt out of the house lol. Note: I was out of the building halfway through the concert.

MOST FUN THING TO DO! Sled behind a four wheeler! You'll get some scratches on your face probably but it's so worth it!

BEST SUSPENSE MOVIE! Don't Say a Word was a pretty legit suspense movie.

BEST MOVIE! Of course, Center Stage is a ballet dancer's favorite movie...but I also like Anna and the King and KUNG POW:Enter the Fist! THAT'S THE BEST MOVIE EVAH! It's so funny...Steve Odekerk rocks!

BESTEST MOVIE! Lord of the Rings: Return of the King is the best. It is a really emotional movie. And in that movie I'm like...Billy Boyd! I love you! I LOVE that song he sings to the Steward of Gondor. I know this sounds stupid but he does has a pretty voice...It's not very masculent but it's great. I nearly cried my eyes out when he sang it. But if you haven't seen it...omg what the heck's wrong with you get to that theater! Pronto! Maintenant!

LEAST SCARIEST HORROR FILM! Scream. I saw it for the first time last night (in the dark!) and I did not tremble or jump at any time...and I'm a chicken! My adrenaline level was 0, let's leave it at that. It was pretty twisted stuff...but that doesn't mean it was scary. Not at all. I laughed.

MOST RETARDED SHOW! Shazam! It's so gay. It is the freakin most retarded show I've ever seen. It upsets me to see it on the TV Guide.

FAVORITE ACTORS! I don't have any favorite actresses really. But I thought Liv was great in all the LOTR movies. I like:

Elijah Wood
Billy Boyd
Orlando Bloom (Orli!)
Tom Felton (the only good HP actor)
Viggo Mortensen
Sean Astin

FUTURE HUSBAND(S)! Is it possible to be married to Billy Boyd, Elijah Wood, and Tom Felton at the same time without interfering with your religion? :D

BEST FOODS! I like chocolate. And beignets. Yum. Munch. FRUIT IS AWESOME TOO...

A GREAT DISAPPOINTMENT! The 3rd HP movie: Dumbledore's going to be a hippie and no Hogwarts robes. AGH! I thought with a new director the tide would change but it's gonna be even worse! Chris Columbus! I'm gonna really like you after I see POA!

I AM MARRYING ELIJAH WOOD! Who else loved that green velvet suit at the Golden Globes? Soft! Me like! *purrs* I think he looked absolutely spiffy! ;)


If you like Avril Lavigne and think she's cool b/c she's 'punk', leave this place now. But if you like Reel Big Fish you're more than welcome to read my words :).

If you like New Found Glory...GET OFF OF THIS WHOLE SITE!

If you like Hilary Duff...I don't even want to know you were here...well that's unfortunately a lot of people so never mind...hmmmmm...

More about music artists...there's this kid, I don't know his name, and he's one of those nine-year-old kids who sing about love and do all those stupid pop songs...WHAT'S WITH THAT? First...there was Aaron Carter rapping about basketball (I don't like rap...but if you're going to do it...DO IT RIGHT!) then it was like...aww I'm skipping a there's this KID! WHAT'S WITH THIS CRAP???

"Do you know any sllooww or special people?"
"Not one?"
"No, not one."
"Okay, I have another you know any sllooww or special people?"

"Be bee boop you try!"
"Uh...okay...Be bo bop..."
"No dawg yo! Do it with me this time lady..."
"Yea lady! Do it with me this time bee boop boop..."

Awesome OPossum...or awesome possum...whichever you prefer...


P.S. I write parodies because they are fun! If you don't understand...have you ever tried to review a good movie? It's no fun because you can't ridicule it! LOL reviewing...or making fun of movies you think are bad IS fun ^_^ fun stuff man!

P.P.S. The Lizzie McGuire Movie...According to Me! is currently disabled! Oh no! Aww well anyway if you wanna read it go to and see my account there (it has the same name and everything) or just email me and I'll send it to you :).

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Really Random Thoughts by xBaybeex reviews
Some stupid stories and thoughts from a day in the life of me. Rated R just in case. (Never know what kind of day I'm having)
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 634 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 4/23/2004 - Published: 4/22/2004
Ever More I Weep by mercury-phoenix reviews
I wasn't a very happy little hobbit when I wrote this. I was kind of thinking about how my fantasy world can never be true (though I'm not sure I believe me) -.pauses.- Did I just call myself a hobbit!
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/23/2003
Two Men by insidelightofdarkoflight reviews
2 men realize they are gay in the 19th or 18th century
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 272 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/17/2003
Eighth Grade Graduation by Shy Cutie89 reviews
This is all about graduating eighth grade, how I felt and how it's time to leave jr. high and move on to highschool
Poetry: School - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 114 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/10/2003
InSearch ofthe ScentedGingerbreadHouseof Happiness by Mina Murray reviews
A story I wrote about a proverb that confuscuis said. Basically, an early 19th century pirate goes on a quest for true happiness and ends up consulting some very strange people. It's quite funny, really. Please read it! (Sorry I had to squish the words in
Fiction: Historical - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 116 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/19/2002
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Adventures of Billy John Gabe reviews
A kid has EXTREMELY weird experiences
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 444 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 4/10/2004
A Couple and the Eiffel Tower reviews
A couple is having a romantic evening...and a human-sized bird ruins it! It's crazy lol
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 558 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/23/2003
Smarter Child Doesn't Like Me Much reviews
What happens with smart alec robots? Find out!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,430 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 9/14/2003
Papayas, Monkeys, and Lizzie McGuire! reviews consists of Papayas, Monkeys, and Lizzie read's crazy :P
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,263 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/3/2003
How Lizzie McGuire Fell off a Cliff reviews
MY version on how the show READ IT!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,088 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/3/2003
The Kid Who was REJECTED!
I was assigned to get rid of a boy for an 11 year see how it turns out...
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,024 - Published: 8/23/2003
Beware Licorice Haters! reviews
A follow up to Otter Cannibals :D fun fun!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 627 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/2/2003
Otter Cannibals reviews
A follow-up to Kim is Dangerous but not related to that story :D title explains
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 446 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/31/2003
Pretty Monkey Come Home With Me! reviews
A narrative poem about a person wanting a monkey to come home with them! Lol yea it's great :)
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 222 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/25/2003
Children Possessed! reviews
It's a poem about possessed children...c'mon! laugh! lol
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/25/2003
Keep on Going reviews
A poem about perserverence
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4/24/2003
Kim is Dangerous reviews
The genre is actually it's dumb...another friend dedication :)
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 530 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 2/21/2003
Drs Kelsee and Allison Office Advertisement reviews
Advertisement for great surgeons
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 159 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2/21/2003
The Biting Friend named Kelsee reviews
A moving story about a girl who tortures her is in accurate dialogue ;) lol j/k it's stupid guys
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 618 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 2/20/2003
Evelyn reviews
A girl moves in with her uncle and bad things it's sounds lame but check it out! I have a flashback which is kind of cool. I don't tell you the names of the people in the flashback for a purpose. I have the rest of it planned out in my head
Fiction: Mystery - Rated: K - English - Mystery/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,059 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/2/2003
Charlotte Doyle by Avi Continued
The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle it was a Lit assignment but you might like'll love it? maybe? :)
Fiction: Mystery - Rated: K - English - Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,086 - Published: 2/2/2003