Here's a single moment from the old continent; time slows down to a halt and each raindrop becomes a perfect translucent orb reflected in the pools of your dilated pupils. Take a picture.

In which I put as many video game references into a paragraph as I reasonably can.

In which I answer the question, "How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?" With all due apologies to Mr. Bob Dylan.

The ongoing saga of Durian Bloodgale's struggle against the forces of justice, peace and radical feminists. New title. New jokes. New entries. Formerly Confessions of a Lunatic Sorcerer. The song thing was stupid, so I got rid of it.

This is my indictment against the current state of humor. Rated T for vitriolic cruelty and copious swearing. Best of all, it's not a gay marriage essay.

My foray into the world of modern poetry. Eat this Robert Pinsky.

Puberty does strange and mystifying things to teenagers, the least of which is dropping your intelligence to that of a tree stump. Why does this happen? Probably due to the bad chemicals. Rantish satire.

*Part 2 Up* An extremely fractured take on modern high school. Chapter Two- How do you ace Chemistry? What do those weird trig symbols mean? I take a look at those stupid classes that piss me off. More hilarity than you can shake a stick at!

Political satire. California's recall election. A look at the candidates, their chances and numerous suggestions that may or may not make things better for California. Fun for the whole family!

Chapter Two- Today I explore Leet-speak. What is leet-speak? And why does it suck so much?

I really hate little kids. They're like locusts, destroying everything that is good and true. Read on to find out why I hate them, and what I plan to do about them.

Contrary to the title, this is actually about Harry Potter and how its copyright laws can be violated. Relax, it's not as bad as it sounds.

This is the stuff I think about when I have too much time, which unfortunately happens often. Written whenever I feel like it.

***UPDATED*** Well, I said I wasn't gonna write any more, but lo and behold, a new pointless story in the continuing saga of those stupid penguins in my head! Sometimes I amaze even myself. More general stupidity abounds!

What do evil sorcerers think about when they die? Revenge? Cookies? My little story answers that question, and several others you may or may not have about the nature of evil magic.