NewbiaTheElf
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Joined 03-07-03, id: 345501
Author has written 11 stories for Love, Horror, Fantasy, General, Mythology, Play, Thriller, and Humor.

Last update: January 19th, 2006

I'm an eighth-grader living in a tiny, tiny town in New Jersey. I run a newsletter with a bunch of cool links every week, so you might want to check that on my blog. Read my livejournal for a look into my brain, albeit far less squishy and gross than the real thing.

A NOTE ON MY STORIES:

After eight months of ignoring fictionpress, I've finally updated with "The Rites". Generally, my most recent work is my best, so read that first.

Want a picture of Fighia, a character in my stories? Go to http:///photoalb.html for a picture of him as of chapter 17. Don't look unless you want a spoiler, however! The same thing for this pic of Newbia at http:///fanq/i/c/icecap2/deedlit2.jpg.html?_=1049924871 as she appears at the end of chapter 19, only without the pierced ears, is younger, different clothes, and not so stunning. I'm not Ellen Tam, the artist, though.

Want some fan-fiction? I have an account at http://www.fanfiction.net/ of the same name as this one. Check it out.

Some Funny Quotes:

"Lets say one day you are at the aqaurium...an octopus comes to you...you stare at the octopus. The octopus stares at you and then runs away, spraying ink spelling, immposibly, tacos. What would you do? Would you go buy some tacos? Would you sneak past the security and drop tacos into the aquariam? Would you devote your life to finding an octopus named Tacos?"

-Dave from the show Portal (para-phrasing a bit, can't remember the entire quote)

"Oh no, you killed my friend, now I have to open a can, a can of kick butt, here it comes! All the while I'm.. still.. cute!" *giggle*"

-Snuggy Dove from Portal, singing the entire time and looking cute. In the same episode, everyone who hears her cute voice singing like crazy instantly goes into a swearing fit. Her brother Bloody Dove went insane. Her other brother Sunny Dove became extremely happy and cheerful.

"I AM SUNNY DOVE! THE PISSED OFF CHAMPION!"
-Sunny Dove, from the TV show Portal, on G4TV.

"Chris is unstoppable! Well, not really, but..."
-My teacher

"I want to be immortal or die trying!"
-Bumper Sticker

"You find me 're mouth says no, but your eyes...well, they say no also, but you find me attractive."
-Matt Gallant, Planet's Funniest Animals, pretending to be a bird who likes a cat in a clip.

"Here comes Mister Rich Guest
He gives us many tips
when he eats his but gets bigger
and easier to kiss."
-Spirited Away

"My wife thinks I'm too nosy. At least thats what she keeps scribbling in her diary."
-Drake Sather

"When you said you wanted to kill yourself...did you make an appointment?"
-Psycho Angel Mouse Doctor, in a comic

"...And special thanks to all those literary professionals who are involved in the eventual release of Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix We want you to know we're really impressed with your swiftness, your sympathy towards the vast and desperate mob of expectant HP fans, and your always-lucid and informational press releases.
You bunch of total @!?*$^$!!!"
-Arabella and Zsenya, Sugerquill story "After the End" about Harry Potter.

"(written as a bloody suicide note) Dear Loved Ones: I get high on life...but I've decided to quit cold turkey." And also:

"You make my heart smile...which kind of makes my left arm tingle."

"Yeah, I met a Pope once..." http:///users/stupid_drawings/66214.html

--Stupid Drawings

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Slut Man and The Chronicles Therefore Of by John Ink reviews
New Draft. Short Chapters. Read at least one. Sluut man, Sluut Man, friendly neighborhood Slutman, gets the girl, everytime, watch out guys, it's slut man time, look out, there goes the slut maaaaaan!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,308 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/29/2007 - Published: 2/15/2003
From Hell and Back by Shiari reviews
What if most religious dogma was false? What if Satan was also Santa Claus? What if Angels evolved from demons? What if a young demon/elf halfblood boy was raised in an all female dormitory? Wait... that's not religious dogma!
Fiction: Mythology - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,886 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 16 - Updated: 7/24/2004 - Published: 8/12/2002
Falling by Werecat99 reviews
Dark secrets return to haunt the nights of an old knight.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,369 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/10/2004
Brother Sun, Sister Moon by Werecat99 reviews
A dark tale of war and magic. By hand and blood of Aurion Whitebone, Head of the Necromancers' Guild. Deals with dark themes such as incest and necromancy. COMPLETE
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 79 - Words: 132,330 - Reviews: 765 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 2/15/2004 - Published: 4/17/2003
Please Insert All Grails Here by Official Rambler reviews
Various escapades of traditional medieval heroes on the eternal quest for the holy grail. chapter five and a christmas skit...
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,942 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 12/4/2003 - Published: 8/20/2003
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Rites reviews
"I'll eat as soon as the paint is dry." The Rites - a novel of kidnapping, political upheaval, and a magic ritual as old as humanity itself...
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 506 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1/19/2006
NewYorkies: The Road Trip of Superheroes! reviews
When a superhero loses his powers, it's a lot harder to get around. Sometimes you have to hitchhike instead-which is how our hero meets a clueless superheroine and a few new friends. Rated for language.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,043 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5/29/2005
Golly Sandra reviews
A little girl with a dead father who tries to grow up too fast, and two spirits who want to show her a new world. Full summary inside. Inspired by the music of Eisley, but not a songfic.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 697 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5/28/2005
The Ides of Time reviews
A collection of short stories. Please review! (see my user profile for a more detailed summary)
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,696 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 6/13/2004 - Published: 5/31/2003
Diablerie reviews
Zara has been actng oddly lately...as though possessed...(rated for gore, language, and disturbing images)
Fiction: Horror - Rated: M - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,293 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 5/2/2004 - Published: 4/18/2004
The Trees of Alimar reviews
Newbia is a half-elf,a halfling, and she will do ANYTHING to become a whole elf. So when she hears about Dharma Temple...PG-13 for swearing, a bit of violence, and mature references. -complete-
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 31 - Words: 35,410 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 7 - Updated: 1/31/2004 - Published: 4/24/2003
Werecat Moon reviews
Lil-Lay is a werecat in Hawaii, which has it's uses, but she's a bit lonely. She won't be lonely for long.
Fiction: Thriller - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,734 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 1/18/2004 - Published: 1/14/2004
The Adventure Like Things of the Spinner Family
A single mother deals with every-day life. Origanaly a comic book.
Fiction: Play - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,540 - Updated: 12/10/2003 - Published: 9/6/2003
Malaya reviews
An alternate universe story. When young Sahara Ganoosh becomes a Malayan Monk, will the evil forces gathering manage to destroy the temple, the temple's cool hairstyles, or in fact the entire religion?
Fiction: Mythology - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,511 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 8/24/2003 - Published: 8/14/2003
Kiss of a Demon reviews
17-year old Kate Hamilton finds an old newspaper clipping of her great-great-great-great grandmother,Eliza Hamilton,who was killed by a vampire.COMPLETED!!
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 11 - Words: 7,664 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 4/22/2003 - Published: 3/22/2003
Going Someplace Special reviews
This is a song,not a poem,explaining the "Chorus" part.Me and my friend Nicole occaisonaly write songs for our band,Sharnic (Sharon+Nicole,we're both really bad at names),so I wrote this.I don't know if i should sing it country style or not.When you R&R t
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 379 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/21/2003