Squirrelmistress
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Joined 06-01-03, id: 357511
Author has written 11 stories for Nature, Humor, Humor, Love, Fantasy, and Life.
Welcome to the labyrinthine corridors of Fiction Press, fellow travellers!

All right, now that formalities are over, it's time for a slight description of me and my work.

Me: Apparently, I exist. Don't worry if you're a bit flummoxed by this. It's news to me, as well.

My Work: Hardly worthy of note, unless you happen to be one of my innumerable biographers, or the chap who keeps calling up at 3 am every night, breathing heavily and begging for my discarded socks.

Attention: 1988 O+ Kidney available for sale or lease. Excellent Condition, Slightly Used. Nephrons run good; free of most diseases. $500 OBO.

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Timmy Moseby and his really weird adventures by Xavier Bogan reviews
A dude walks around and does stuff
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,756 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 5/21/2004 - Published: 10/22/2003
The Fantasy Chronicles! by Animagess reviews
In a world containing excessive amounts of capital letters, The Dark Coming has arrived quite unexpectedly. Now the kingdom's only hope are the Five Legendary Mystical Items, A Prophecy and The Chosen One. Sound familiar? Please review! CH. 16 UP!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 16 - Words: 24,662 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 48 - Updated: 1/8/2004 - Published: 6/9/2003
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Valedictory reviews
It's about nothing really. Just about accepring death and the realization that very few endings are particularly happy. Angst Quotient=High
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 108 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2/16/2005
The Bargain reviews
The soul market is flagging. Does Satan have what it takes to craft tailor-made marketing strategies for each consumer? Well, probably.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 938 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/15/2005
The Ballad of Thorkel the Strangler reviews
Chronicles the adventurers of an excessively violent Viking in 300 words or less. Hmmm...I believe there was something else, but I've forgotten it.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 288 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/29/2004
A Love Sonnet reviews
As it says, a sonnet commemorating the joys and emotions of first love. Melodramatic, but rather decent, I thought. (A lame title, I realize. Notify me if you can think of a better one1)
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 186 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11/15/2003
The Sunset reviews
Describes the phenomenon of a sunset from a philosophical point of view. Or maybe it just sounds pretty. Why don't you decide?
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 110 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/15/2003
Oh My Gods! An Extremely Demented Greek Myth! reviews
Come for the adventure! The drama! The romance! Find out Prometheus's Sixteen Guidelines for Surviving an Attack of Homicidal Spleen-Chomping Swallows!...(Stay for the live nude mud wrestling directly afterwards.)
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,832 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 10/21/2003 - Published: 10/8/2003
Why a Little Caffeine is a Dangerous Thing reviews
Because it causes stories. Basically, it's about why people have hands, anthropomorphic penguins, the zoo, the Patriot Act, etc. Right. P.S:The government doesn't want you to read this.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,067 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/29/2003
Attack of the BrainEating Computer reviews
Everyone knows computers are just waiting for the perfect opportunity to eat the minds of humanity and take over the world. Don't believe me? Do you know what YOUR computer did last summer?
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 278 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 6/29/2003
Alas, Life as a Lemming reviews
Do we hear a resounding voice of hatred for the American school system? Let's all mock the popular! Power to the weird! Above all, BRING DOWN THE SYSTEM WITH BITING SARCASM!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 855 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/1/2003
To Summer reviews
My personal ode to summer, a most excellent season (if you don't live in Texas). Such beautiful golden days call for *some* sort of verse, right?
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 218 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/1/2003
Song of the Wind reviews
The wind is a fleet-winged traveller: the songs it sings inspire dreams of mistily distant lands. Ah, to revel in the glories of imagination!
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 237 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/1/2003