Voronwe
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Joined 07-14-03, id: 365055, Profile Updated: 09-03-10
Author has written 83 stories for Humor, Fantasy, Essay, General, General, Haiku, Fantasy, Humor, Manga, Nature, Religion, Play, Politics, Spiritual, Life, Love, and Sci-Fi.

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Alone by xXDesireeXx reviews
Being alone and hated does stuff to you...
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 124 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/19/2008 - Complete
Burger by Hubbard reviews
It's hot. It's steamy. But is it sexy?
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 626 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/17/2005
Employer Employee Relations by Jack Cackler reviews
A spiritual parody... or something like that. A monologue written for my IB Theatre Arts class, about one of our favourite adversarial employees of the The Boss.
Fiction: Play - Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 900 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/14/2003
Scared by Minnie Souris reviews
COMPLETE SHORT STORY I was lonley without being alone and then at of the blue of IM Catcher came romance, I knew it was wrong, but couldn't stop myself. Now I'm scared of being totally alone
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,793 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/13/2003
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Greatest Love Poem Ever reviews
You'll see.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 234 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9/3/2010 - Complete
Beneath the Moon reviews
Hope you like it.
Poetry: Life - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 883 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7/1/2008 - Complete
Ezra Called
Based on a true story I made up.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 314 - Published: 7/1/2008 - Complete
Workers Sketch reviews
Read the title. If you get it, click on it.
Fiction: Play - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 502 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/7/2008 - Complete
Contemporary Dramatic Fiction for Today's YahDude
For the enlightened bro kid or buddy kid.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,221 - Updated: 4/7/2008 - Published: 4/6/2008
Flower in the Forest reviews
Based on a complete fabrication.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 149 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/28/2008 - Complete
Peach Roses reviews
Apparently peach roses are a sign of platonic friendship. That's a crock of a word I can't say here because of the childrens.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 181 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/28/2008 - Complete
Sleep is a Kind of Death reviews
If you want to know what it is about, read it.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 379 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/28/2008 - Complete
Musings on A DoubleLife reviews
In 2004, I created GothChicka, an account on which to post fictitious poetry. Here is my confessional, my thoughts, and my conclusions. Enjoy. On a side note, it feels good to be back at FP.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 932 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/19/2007 - Complete
Fun With Religion! reviews
Organized religion is a lot like Captain Planet - fun and educational at the same time! UPDATE: Islam. Be gentle with the reviews, folks.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,270 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/15/2006 - Published: 5/30/2005
Camp! reviews
David is a loner. Ty is a loudmouth. Templeton is a nerd. Victoria has a secret...will these personalities, among many others soon to be explored, clash? Read this completely legitimate coming-of-age tale to find out. R/R!
Fiction: Manga - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 745 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/21/2006
Forest of Solitude
Deep in the forest, a family enjoys a brief holiday. But at what price? The second part of a trilogy of short one-acts. Read "Toad" for the first installment. R/R!
Fiction: Play - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 790 - Published: 3/17/2006
Call The Locksmith! reviews
A one-act comedy. A bit of avant-garde theater, as most of the action takes place offstage. Enjoy!
Fiction: Play - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,946 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3/5/2006
I Like Everything! reviews
Why should poetry be wordy and, ultimately, boring? For a easy-to-read alternative to those awfully verbose poems out there, inquire within!
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 186 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 11/10/2005 - Published: 3/30/2005
Toad reviews
When it comes down to the final clash between man and reality, who shall triumph? A one-act piece.
Fiction: Play - Rated: T - English - Angst/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 858 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/10/2005
My Take on Stereotypes reviews
Everyone is completely wrong about stereotypes. Thankfully, I'm here.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 493 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/7/2005
The Life of a Father reviews
Hubris aside, these are the greatest haikus every written. Expect more in the future.
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 68 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 7/18/2005 - Published: 7/11/2005
Response to Idiocy reviews
A response to Steven Hildreth's little mental vomit-spasm. I guess we found the missing link between complete moron and a shadow of basic intelligence.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 435 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 7/11/2005
Breaking Point reviews
Water is like emotion. It represents emotion's polar states: calm and controlled, or raging and extremely dangerous. My Creative Writing final.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/20/2005
Suicide Note reviews
Found by the body of a single teenage mother.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 38 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/18/2005
Book reviews
[One-shot] The last thoughts of the last man alive.
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: K - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,691 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/17/2005
Dave's Kitties reviews
These two poems were a gift to my friend Dave. Enjoy!
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 226 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/16/2005
Four Months
Wrote this as an anniversary gift.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Published: 6/16/2005
Emotional Dehydration reviews
Thirsty for feelings.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 73 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/16/2005
Cutting Myself reviews
I'm in so much pain...God...help me...
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 86 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 6/16/2005
Hidden Agenda reviews
If you pick up on the joke, you win a million life points.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 81 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 6/16/2005
Lament of an Ice Cream Man reviews
The story of a pain few of us have to endure.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 129 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6/16/2005
A Man and His Kingdom reviews
This won my school's poetry contest. Figured you guys might like it.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 147 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/16/2005
His Final Walk reviews
I got tired of feeding it, so...I paid my buddy Al to drive a little closer to the curb that day...
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 75 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6/8/2005
Hop 'Til You Drop Dead reviews
Nobody ever liked cute bunnies anyway.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 75 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6/8/2005
Seal the Deal reviews
Hey, they do it in Alaska all the time...
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 121 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/8/2005
A Gentle Nap for a Lovable Old Man reviews
The retirement homes these days are far too full. Why not solve that issue with some creativity?
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 186 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/8/2005
Granny's Last Batch reviews
I love the smell of cookies and grandma in the morning...
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 104 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/8/2005
Gerber's reviews
Sometimes a man's gotta eat. Rated K for killing.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 95 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/8/2005
Mega Love High School VI! reviews
The story of Suni, a 16-year old girl with romance problems at high school - and she fights demons! UPDATE: After almost a year! Yay!
Fiction: Manga - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,353 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 6/4/2005 - Published: 6/24/2004
Testament to Time reviews
Falling leaves are the signs of a passing season.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 49 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3/8/2005
Realistic Native American Poetry reviews
A compendium of poems in the style of Native Americans. R/R!
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 71 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3/2/2005
ADD and Extra Time on Standardized Tests reviews
A piece on how the regulations concerning extra time given on SAT/ACT for those with Attention Deficit Disorder exams are too lenient. R/R.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 779 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 2/26/2005
Off The Cliff reviews
In one moment, it can end.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 62 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 2/24/2005
The Survivalist Guide to Popular Culture reviews
Don't want to be laughed at by your fellow home-skillets? Don't want to be called a stupid-ass nigga? Have no fear! The GUIDE is here!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,033 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 1/24/2005
Liberalism? Conservatism? How About Neither? reviews
Inquire within, comrades!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 470 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 1/17/2005
An Essay on Opera reviews
Forget rap or rock - listen to REAL music, people! R/R!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 699 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/10/2005
Tis the Season for Mindless Shopping! reviews
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Based on a true story. R/R!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 815 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/24/2004
English Review reviews
Don't you just love a play on words? Inspired by Sergei's essay 'English review'. R/R!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 388 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/16/2004
The Terrible Existance of Jonathan Kettle reviews
Next time you are alone, look over your shoulder. Chances are, some manner of aquatic bird is following you.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 481 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12/16/2004
I Totally Hate John Kerry reviews
This poem is so offensive I gave it a PG rating. PG being Pretty Good at insulting people! ZING TO DA MAX!
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 84 - Reviews: 30 - Published: 11/24/2004
Crystal Meph reviews
Rewrite of a story I wrote a while back. One man is caught between the path to heaven and hell. Rating for drug/sexual references. NEW EDIT! R/R!
Fiction: Spiritual - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,160 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11/15/2004
Solution to Obesity reviews
I have it all figured out. It's quite a modest proposal, you see.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 360 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 11/14/2004
John Kerry Is President! reviews
My worst nightmare - John Kerry is the president of the United States!
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 131 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 11/4/2004
A Pongish Rant reviews
The little ping-pong game we all know and love is pissed at society. Here is what he has to say...R/R!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 437 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/19/2004
Men Are Better reviews
Sorry, ladies...it has to be said. You asked for it, and here it is: AN UPDATE!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 904 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 10/17/2004 - Published: 9/14/2004
Peroutka for President in 2004! reviews
A political satire on the people nobody bothers to politically satire - a third party candidate. Michael Peroutka of the Constitution Party wants YOUR vote! Curious as to what his views are? Inquire within!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,055 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 10/15/2004
The Construction reviews
A monologue from a worker in that big job we all know about...R/R!
Fiction: Play - Rated: K - English - Humor/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 852 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/15/2004
Defence of the Public School System reviews
Somebody has to defend our precious school system from the likes of uneducated people on this site. Guess that person is me. R/R!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 633 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 10/3/2004
What Has God Done For You Lately? reviews
Told from the perspective of a middle-aged distraught Christian. R/R!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 528 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/26/2004
The American Wannabe reviews
A poem from the perspective of someone who just got shot down by Simon Cowell on "American Idol". R/R!
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 72 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/21/2004
How To Destroy the Environment and Save MORE Time reviews
Just a little satire on a satire, folks...or is it satire! Multiple posting issue has been resolved, sorry guys!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 688 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8/28/2004
Protesters Are Not People reviews
Finally, a solution to one of America's greatest enemies: protesters.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 480 - Reviews: 25 - Published: 8/20/2004
Unfair Opinion on Video Games reviews
A short rant about the recent murders in Florida, and how a connection to an xBox is being blown out of proportion. R/R.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 388 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8/12/2004
What To Say? reviews
If you had the chance to say something directly to God...what would it be?
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 59 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 7/20/2004
Everything But The Popcorn reviews
Why should you spend 5-10 bucks on a movie ticket when I can see it for you, and give you the heads-up on it. Update: A promised review of "Bad Santa!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,979 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 7/20/2004 - Published: 7/16/2004
Twilight in Winter reviews
A chilly winter's night, yet I am warm and comforted...
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 80 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7/15/2004
O Woe Is Me, O Parody of Angsty Poetry! reviews
Seriously...writing this stuff is a piece of cake. Anyone can do it. Here we go, another POEM!
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 715 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 7/13/2004 - Published: 6/2/2004
A Dreamer's Tale reviews
A man's journey into the world people see only when they sleep - the world of dreams. Please R/R! Updated, finally!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,798 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 7/13/2004 - Published: 10/20/2003
Dear Sir reviews
The wisdom and wit of an unknown author, in a series of letters written to a friend name Sir. Updated after an 11-month hiatus!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,214 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 6/23/2004 - Published: 7/18/2003
The Wonderful World of Roleplaying reviews
An essay detailing online role-play. For those of you who love to do it, this is right up your alley.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 592 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/20/2004
I Wish To Register A Complaint! reviews
John Cleese said it in a nutshell. What follows are various complaints, insights, and anything I don't feel makes enough sense to put into it's own little essay. Update!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,445 - Reviews: 19 - Updated: 6/9/2004 - Published: 5/12/2004
Animal Rights? Animals Need No Rights reviews
A satire about the campaign for animal rights. Replies to reviews inside!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 857 - Reviews: 22 - Updated: 5/15/2004 - Published: 5/3/2004
Salvation of a Hero reviews
The salvation of a sinful hero. Inspired by a requiem.
Poetry: Fantasy - Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 194 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5/10/2004
Double Standard: Racism in the Media reviews
A piece written about a double standard in the media concerning racism. May be a bit controversial. Please R/R!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 608 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 4/22/2004
Capitalism and Communism: A Modern YingYang reviews
An essay detailing how capitalism and communism, two economic rivals, cannot function without eachother in society. Please R/R!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 599 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 4/17/2004
Obesity: A Self Inflicted Epidemic reviews
A short piece on the obesity epidemic we're experiencing, and how we are the cause of it.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 475 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 3/28/2004
Can't Write? Plagiarism Is Not The Answer! reviews
A short piece about the low-lifes whose mentality is expressed in the above title. Feedback always welcome.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 514 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/7/2004
Feminism: A Rant reviews
Complaints towards sexists who go under the guise of feminism to gain special treatment, not social/economic equality. Not aimed at all feminists, so please take that into consideration.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 602 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/6/2004
Why Fireworks And Your Hand Don't Mix reviews
A little haiku I wrote a while ago. My first on this site.
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 24 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 3/5/2004
A Look Back reviews
Reflections from a man about experiences he has had and mistakes he has made. Rating is for later chapters. Feedback welcome!
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 702 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/5/2004
Gothicism and What I Think reviews
Note: This essay is my opinion. Please take this into consideration.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 464 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 2/1/2004
Next Stop: The Moon reviews
My thoughts on the Bush administration's upcoming space flight plan. Though they may seem a bit pessimistic, they aren't as much as they seem.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 596 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 1/13/2004
Playing God reviews
The first poem in a while I've written...it's about writing. Please R/R.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 71 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/8/2004
Melodrama is Pointless reviews
A rant about why melodrama in high school and abroad is useless. Hopefully this will connect to those with common sense (PG rating for bluntness)
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 532 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 1/8/2004
Have Their Careers Sunk This Low? reviews
A bit of a rant about recent events (mostly the Britney Spears marriage thing). Opening my newspaper to find a load of garbage about this incident prompted this rant.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 644 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 1/5/2004
Communism: A SemiRant reviews
Not so much a rant about the system of government, but about the stereotypes people hold. Please read the Author's Note at the top before reading the essay...to save confusion/hate.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 888 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 1/4/2004
A Personal Hell reviews
A story as old as time - the drive-thru at McDonald's. Told from a father's point of view.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 654 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 7/14/2003