tofujunky
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Joined 07-15-03, id: 365242, Profile Updated: 09-26-09
Author has written 57 stories for Song, Politics, Humor, Religion, Nature, Friendship, Haiku, Life, General, Love, Essay, War, and General.

Name: It starts with 't' and ends with a 'y'
Sex: I have ovaries, a uterus and vulva
Age: Legally doable
Height: I'm about 8 inches shorter than you
Weight:
In Mars I weigh less than 40 lbs
Hair: Black
Eyes: Two
Hobbies: Running, reading, writing . . . driving over pedestrians, milking cows, raising the dead . . . laughing at people, laughing at myself, healing the sick . . . promoting heterosexuality, encouraging homosexuality, endorsing celibacy . . . debating, negotiating, miming . . . dancing, wiggling, mooning . . . walking with atheists, chatting with the religious, slapping the stupid . . .

"GO FUCK YOURSELF." -- Dick Cheney

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The Yak Effect by No Trust reviews
A soviet warplane spinning its propellers over Russia in the 1940's can cause an American and an Australian to write a couple of essays for FictionPress.com in 2006.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,319 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/10/2006
Musings by Tiefling reviews
A collection of essays on random different topics- ch.22 added
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 22 - Words: 17,632 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 8 - Updated: 2/8/2005 - Published: 8/2/2003
Second Redemption by Daedalus Plum reviews
At a bar in a small Latino section of a big city, a woman relates her troubles of watching the second coming and second redemption. This story is not quite ready, yet. I'm still editing and revising, so critique is encouraged.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,358 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/18/2004
Titles Are Difficult by Neon Tetra reviews
My satirical guide to writing and criticism on FictionPress. Rated PG13 for thematic elements.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Parody/Horror - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,896 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/29/2004
Form of Payment by Infinite Smiles reviews
This is a very, short poem about reciprocity and the lack thereof.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 31 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/15/2004
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Adam and Steve reviews
God so loved the world that he wrote his one and only Limerick, that whosoever readeth it shall not perish but have eternal life. True story.
Poetry: Religion - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 35 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 1/21/2010
Cycle Of Vengeance reviews
As we continue to fight for those we've lost, others will fight for those we've taken.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 155 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/11/2008
A Love Poem For My Lovely Bush reviews
Viva La Bush! D'oh!
Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 275 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/30/2008
Hallelujah: Unrated and Uncensored reviews
I promise to repent later in life, but for now let me have my fun. Okay? Reader discretion is strongly advised!
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Parody/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 287 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 7/25/2006
No Hooters reviews
Not about owls. [Limerick]
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 27 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 12/25/2005
Jesus X reviews
A not so Christmas-y limerick.
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 33 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 12/25/2005
Color Me Pissed reviews
I said 'pissed' not 'piss'. Now put down that yellow marker!
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 109 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/11/2005
A Mother's Worth reviews
A sonnet I wrote for my mum (and yes, for your mommy too) on Mother's Day.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 121 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 5/15/2005
Mary Was Loose reviews
Like a virgin, touched for the very first time. Like a vir-er-er-err-gin.
Poetry: Religion - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 212 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 3/29/2005
Jesus Doesn't Like Being Interviewed! reviews
Christ's response to John Stein's "An Interview with Jesus."
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 509 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/8/2005
My Sister Vs God: The Prequel Part II reviews
My Sister's Odds: A Googolplex to One
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 793 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/30/2004
Jesus Was Gay reviews
Why would you think otherwise?
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 196 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 6 - Published: 11/25/2004
Which Came First? reviews
The chicken or the egg?
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 201 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/11/2004
Forever Crowned reviews
Is God overrated?
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 66 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/21/2004
This Boob's For You reviews
I love you, man. Not really, but read this anyway.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 305 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/8/2004
Blood in the Air reviews
My anti-war song. Criticisms/flames are welcomed - as long as it's not accompanied by stupidity.
Poetry: Song - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 258 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/18/2004
Eve's Story reviews
Eve's explanation of what truly happened in the Garden of Eden. Now we can all understand why men have Adam's apples and women don't.
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 473 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 1/2/2004
Let Me Live reviews
A poem written to respond to dontstayfallen's "Dead" - Yep, I'm a non-Christian.
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 133 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/21/2003
Barriers reviews
The fear of getting your heart broken . . . will have you putting up fences.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 163 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12/21/2003
Oops, we did it again! reviews
The U.S. air strike on an Afghan village left nine children dead, and failed to kill the targeted Taliban suspect.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 121 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/9/2003
Marching Ghosts reviews
The atomic bombing of Japan (Hiroshima - Nagasaki) ; one survivor describes the horrific aftermath as "marching ghosts."
Poetry: War - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 37 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/8/2003
Ten Little Indians reviews
The Story of Thanksgiving . . . the way it should be told.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 305 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/15/2003
My Sister Vs God : The Prequel reviews
Who will reign supreme? The ultimate battle between Good and . . . Good?
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 676 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/9/2003
House of Light reviews
The light that saves.
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/26/2003
Beat the Rush reviews
Rush Limbaugh is a junkie! I knew it! I'm surrounded by hypocrites!
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 971 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 10/19/2003
Happy Thoughts reviews
Something to get rid of the creepy little thoughts.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 148 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 9/28/2003
Red reviews
Just a creepy little thought.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 54 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/28/2003
There's No Place Like Hell reviews
It's pretty funny imagining myself as Dorothy (The Wizard Of Oz). I would look ridiculous. lol
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 157 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/15/2003
Welcome to Congress Cafe reviews
What can we get you today, Mr. President?
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 309 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Published: 9/11/2003
Loopholes reviews
Sin your butt off and still be able to go to heaven. This may be offensive to some, so read at your own will.
Poetry: Religion - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 246 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Published: 9/10/2003
dogma reviews
I believe in . . . !em
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 166 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 9/3/2003
Darkness Of The Night reviews
In the dark, I spark. (Song/Poem)
Poetry: Song - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 157 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/3/2003
Mars reviews
Bring out your telescope and check out the red "star! Mars will be at its closest on August 27!
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 8/21/2003
What Kind Of God reviews
Reading the morning paper got me really depressed. I had to write out my feelings, and this poem was the result . . .
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 5 - Published: 8/21/2003
Childhood Memories reviews
Oh, the good ol' times.
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/19/2003
Lemonade reviews
There is nothing like a cup of homemade lemonade on a hot summer day.
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8/18/2003
Operation Forest Thinning reviews
Just my thoughts on Bush's controversial Healthy Forest Initiative
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 168 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/16/2003
A Proud Woman reviews
A woman with true intelligence would not give in to the notion that God is a man He, Him, Father, male .
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 227 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/12/2003
Mother Nature reviews
My thanks and apology to Mother Nature
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 210 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/10/2003
A Poem A Day reviews
Who needs therapy, when we have poetry?
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 106 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 4 - Published: 8/8/2003
Jesus! reviews
The title is just an expression
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 226 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/2/2003
Drenched reviews
I go for simplicity just in case if Bush (or his family) accidentally stumbles on some of my work. It would make it easier for them to understand (or read for that matter).
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 100 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/31/2003
Be With You reviews
The ending of "Titanic" where Rose dies laying peacefully in her bed and then she reunites with Jack - inspired me to write this poem
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/30/2003
The Art of Sepaku reviews
Come on everyone! Let's go practice the Art of Sepaku!
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 42 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/30/2003
Night Skies reviews
Help! I can't breathe.
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7/28/2003
The Cycle reviews
In the Cycle, there is no end.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 46 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7/28/2003
Unrequited reviews
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return" - Moulin Rouge
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 7/28/2003
The Itch reviews
My first Haiku EVER! Did I do it right?
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 7/24/2003
Don't Even Think About It reviews
A friend is thinking about doing something really stupid
Poetry: Friendship - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 151 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 7/23/2003
My Sister Vs God reviews
Sorry, all bets are off.
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 273 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/21/2003
Monsters in the Woods reviews
Why do we hunt and kill defenseless animals? And then to go and hang their heads up on the wall. How sickening!
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 107 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7/21/2003
Confession reviews
I'm prepared for the criticism and screams. So, bring it on!
Poetry: Religion - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 153 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/19/2003
I Am Human reviews
A penny for your thoughts. All right, make that a dollar.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 64 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/18/2003
Jalapeno reviews
Caution: The poem you are about to enjoy is extremely HOT!
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 68 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 7/18/2003
Last Night reviews
Get that dirty thought outta your head! Ever had a bad date that went like this?
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 230 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 7/17/2003
The Thin Line Between Peace & War reviews
War! What is it good for? Absolutely . . .
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 96 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 7/17/2003
Shoulder to Cry On reviews
I love writing songs/poems. Need to know if I should give it up or not. Please toss in your two cents. Thanks.
Poetry: Song - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 270 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/15/2003