Official Rambler
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Joined 08-20-03, id: 370851
Author has written 17 stories for Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Mystery, Humor, Manga, Mythology, Life, and General.

Actual Name: Trench Appearence: Hair, blond, eyes, blue-gray, skin, pale. Belgians misinterpreted me. Whilst wearing a skirt. (me, not the belgians.) Location: California, abouts. Occupation: Starving artist/gophermonkey
Interests: ...That's a secret. -blushes-
Is Currently: Plague-ridden.
Has as of now: Sixteen stories? Haha, yeah, the number went down. It's magic!

Whither Shorts?: Don't panic! The short stories that may appear to have been deleted from my profile are still, in fact, alive and well here on Fictionpress. I have, however, moved them out of their individual stories and slotted them neatly into a compendium of short stories, along with a few new dribble-drabbles. I anticipate that I'm going to write a lot more short stories, so I decided to store them someplace safe and out of the way, much like Barrel Scrapings. Just a little housekeeping, and some new content, but other than that, your favorite Rambler shorts are unharmed, just moved.

Sugared Fog: Chapter six is up, and it's a teeny bit more gay and fanservicey than the last few... to all the non-slash mystery and/or otter fans, I'M SORRY! -blushes- I simply couldn't help myself. Don't worry, I don't intend on making it a lemon of any sort. Besides, more than just a little sexual tension in the given setting would flood the whole thing with angst. Which I by no means intend to do. I promise to have more otter, more vegetables, and more humor in the next chapter, and less fanservice, gheyness, and angst. Scout's honor.

Circle Safe: This is my NaNoWriMo, dickered with a little bit, poked at for purposes of chapterfying and continuity, but generally not edited. Seriously. If I were a musician, this would be the raw cut. I need the whole thing workshopped. So I'm posting it on , because I'm too lazy to workshop it myself.

To Come:

On HNDA: I've been doing some soul-searching regarding everyone's favourite ninja detectives, and spent a good deal of time working out a lot of things on plot and backstory and how the HNDA universe works. I wrote half a chapter of random fluff, what the Brie Dealer would like you to think his past was, and part of the Lionel incident from Midori's perspective. None of these advance the plot in any way whatsoever, but they've gotten me a bit galvanized. The Hiatus is coming to a close.

On Hemlock Tower: I got nothin'. Seriously. I have nothing at all on chapter eight. All of my fairyland energies have been poured into Circle Safe. Once I get that albatross off my back, I should be able to work on THT.

On Everything Else: I essentially have everything but Sugared Fog, some drabbles in fanfiction, and my NaNo on hiatus right now.

On The Future: There's a new, completely experimental story currently in the works. It's an experiment in PoV, but also in my skill at characterization. I'm writing it like a video game: how much shit can I dump on a wimpy main character without him killing himself? ... Well, all I can say is thank god for backspace.

Shoutout to my peeps in the hood... An-Cat-Gaelige, Spade Dawson, CabbyHat, Fishguts-sama, and Peremptory Shortness are all personal friends of mine and wonderful, varied writers. Go forth and read, for it is good. Especially Fishguts' Fishguts story. It's shiny.

Um.. er, don't do duct tape in public!

Oh, and god is an Orca. Thankew, goodnight.


Official Rambler

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Too much pizza and candy by Lellida reviews
Things turn from crazy to strange one Halloween. Teens are whisked away to... Mount Olympus? COMPLETE!
Fiction: Mythology - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 17 - Words: 58,781 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 12 - Updated: 5/27/2005 - Published: 12/1/2003 - Complete
Passover Knight by Mayaj reviews
Mikey H. Rosenberg must find the courage within himself to overcome your garden veriaty of dragons, ogres, giants, princesses, and eighth graders. Complete, sequel coming soon.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 104,899 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/20/2004 - Published: 5/6/2004
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Chasing Mortality
A fallen angel desires redemption, but finds a necromancer and his vampire sister instead. Close enough, as it turns out, in the long run.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,766 - Published: 12/3/2008
Barrel Scrapings reviews
Heroes, reality, philosophy, love. The important things that need to be addressed in poetry. An anthology of those rare beasts, the prosist's poems.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 745 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 4/8/2008 - Published: 2/20/2007
Whither Shorts? reviews
A collection of my very own short stories. Possibly will incorporate previously published shorts as well, to reduce clutter. So far, covers gender, christmas, necrophilia, herb lore, mice, and aliens.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 11,118 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 3/3/2008 - Published: 7/28/2007
Sugared Fog reviews
In the dreary, damp, cobblestoned London of the 1880's, an undertaker turned detective seeks to unravel the greatest mystery of them all: the conundrum of existance. And he nearly gets poisoned by his roomie, but whatever, it happens.
Fiction: Mystery - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,359 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/24/2007 - Published: 2/20/2007
Circle Safe reviews
Dragged to Kentucky by their mother, to live on their family's ancestral estate, Ceci and Katie make the best of it. But there are more things than just humans living on the land their family owns, strange things that ride out to hunt in dead of night...
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,625 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/8/2007 - Published: 4/1/2007
Sergeant Neko's Ninja Camp reviews
In a serene little lakeside camp in the middle of nowhere, Sergeant Neko is on a mission... to turn a bunch of whinging narutards and wannabes into actual, honesttogod, ninjas. She's... got her work cut out for her.
Fiction: Manga - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,045 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/29/2006
Fishsparks: The Thistle Dew Chronicles reviews
Jasia Ferrington, a little wizard girl from the sticks, must take up residence in the land of RANDOM's capital city, to pursue her education. Watch her wreak havoc and blow stuff up...
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,490 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 11/28/2006 - Published: 6/8/2006
The Hokage Ninja Detective Agency reviews
A detective story. It has several somewhat connected short mysteries, an overarching plot, and the main characters are ninjas. Plus dynamic villains. What more could a detective story want? Ch. 12 is a bunch of shorts. woo-hoo!
Fiction: Mystery - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 52,458 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 7/24/2006 - Published: 4/19/2004
The Hemlock Tower reviews
Anna thought she was ordinary. A bizarre incident involving harpies, mud and a peddler shows her how wrong she is. But as she is thrust into a world of magic, fairies, and revolution, she realizes it's just the beginning...
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 24,873 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 7/2/2006 - Published: 8/24/2005
Red Land, Black Land reviews
The Egyptian mythos, from the point of view of everyone's favorite Guardian of the Dead. The Osiris and Isis arc, from the point of view of... Anubis.
Fiction: Mythology - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,031 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/8/2006
Serious reviews
In a world where strangeness rides pillion with normalcy, there are few who are considered truly weird. This is a story about wishes, both those who make them, and those who grant them.
Fiction: Manga - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,076 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 1/23/2006
The Adventures of Fat Sensei and Friends! reviews
This is the story of the cast and crew of a sensational new cooking show. Cheese, bluebries, karate, swishies, lobscouse, and evil chemicals in black icing, all found inside.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,736 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 1/23/2006 - Published: 10/8/2005
The Sea's Lost Rose reviews
An ancient prophecy, a strange princess, a peculiar wizard, a foreign conspiricy, another foreign conspiricy, an angry god, a sad god, and a batty prince converge in a great blue explosion of adventure. Set in the land of Oargoth.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,567 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 11/6/2005 - Published: 9/25/2005
Black Fish reviews
The Card Shark Ninjas are the last bastion of justice in a universe gone mad. When the President of the Known Universe is assassinated, they definitely get called in...
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,461 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 10/8/2005 - Published: 4/13/2005
Something in that Sack for You? reviews
A wanderer, on a quest to kill an annoying elf, meets a mysterious peddler. Features Orc-away, orc-farming 101, dental floss, and a bag of chips!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,568 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9/28/2004
Conquering the Universe: minions not included reviews
it isnt all fun and games being an evil mastermind, you know. pipe organs take up a lot of space.
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,606 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12/23/2003
Please Insert All Grails Here reviews
Various escapades of traditional medieval heroes on the eternal quest for the holy grail. chapter five and a christmas skit...
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,942 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 12/4/2003 - Published: 8/20/2003