First thing i've written in a while, inspired by things i've heard and watched recently. not entirely happy with it but thought i'd see if i get some R&R suggestions :

NB the lines goin good.perfect/ etc are meant to be italics but this changed em. felt like writing and this is what came out. betrayal, pain. 1st chapter only so far, i might remove the italicised bits R&R, give me your ideas :D

yeh, she wasnt bein fair! not too good really, i dont like it lol, but nm

i hate seeing someone hurting...wish i could do this atm

how i wanted to be desired :D

yeh, a lil verse, sorta singsongy rhymey...R&R

i dont think i like this one, but others might...again about my sister who died, focussing more on what the older one felt. its hard

a little poem to go round the last two lines, i cant remember how i thought them up, but i think they're by far the best in the poem...

again i wasnt happy and they were all ignoring me. inspiration from a poster in my bio lab, how strange :D

my grandfather and i are in the process of writing a biography of my great great great uncle by marriage, a painter. these poems that my grandfather wrote are inspired by his pictures, and i jus wanted to get some reviews- i might put together a book of m

my friends were rather wrapped up...and even when they weren't didnt notice anything wrong till i slipped a note in my friends pocket going :(

probably not good grammar, but it sounds nice. jus a lil thing i thought up walkin along one evening. R&R

something i wrote about a year and a half after my sister died, you can guess the story from the poem...it was in the papers a lot- english papers. she was a famous equestrian...it was, say 5 years ago now, but i still cried when i typed this up.

another little thing that i wrote when i was younger- i had a lot of time in class when i was bored! it was mainly for the description, not the story line. R&R plz!

This is just the start of a play, i dont like the last paragraph at all, i wrote it a few years ago and dont quite know where i was goin with it, but i'v put it up for R&R so i can get some ideas please!