Author has written 12 stories for Supernatural, Romance, General, General, Fantasy, and Humor.
Don't you love profiles that get right to the point? I once read a profile that said, simply, "I’m me." There was another I read that said, "Hi, my name is and I like to write," completely giving you the point without taking a paragraph to do it. This, unfortunately, is not one of those kinds of profiles. However, since I like you, and you apparently hate these long profiles as much as I do (I can tell by the eye rolling that's going on right now), I'm going to enter into the shortest profile you will ever read. JK!! And you thought I was for real?
Well the other day I sat down at my computer and thought to myself ‘This profile needs a bit of an update’, and so I decided to go ahead and, well…update it. Enough said. (blatantly ignores butter knife being held to her back by her squirrel muses as they are quite annoyed with having to read the same profile over and over for how many years now?) I know you’re all anxiously awaiting and hoping that this is going to be a very intellectually stimulating profile, going into extreme detail of what I’m going to do with my life, and every aspect of my life down to how many pets I’ve had in my life so far, my most embarrassing moments, the best moments in my life, and so on and so forth…however to disappoint you a second time, this is not one of those kinds of profiles either.
Ah. My squirrel muses have decided they want to be known. I have seven squirrel muses in all. Their names are, Skippy, Cashew, Pistachio, Almond, Peanut, Walnut, and Pecan. All related to nuts. And guess what, they're all insane. And pushy. And are addicted topixie sticks. And...oh lord. They're raiding the fridge...hold on a second. Skippy got himself stuck in the peanut butter jar AGAIN.
...Small lapse of time while I go save my favorite squirrel muse...
And now since I know you are probably bored to death with me, I will lighten up the mood, sorta with some good philosophies of life.
"People are like slinkys, boring most of the time, but you can't help smiling when one falls down the stairs."--Ahhh the cruelty of it all.
I thought to share some advice I’ve compiled over a bit. It’s quite straight to the point really.
“To attract a man, wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior’.”
“Don't marry a tennis player. For love means nothing to them.”—LOL. I really have nothing against tennis players. One of my friends plays Tennis, but she got a great kick out of that joke.
“If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.”—Think about it people.
Of course, none can compare with the thought of, “Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard... be evil!”
And ladies, please. “Always remember... when a guy sweeps you off your feet, he is in perfect position to drop you on your ass.”
And I like to keep myself organized by letting myself know exactly what chapter I'm on in any given story I write, so thus the statuses of each of my posted stories so far...
1.)Line Crossing- COMPLETED Woohooo!!!
2.)The Perfect Life- Probably going to take it down and edit it a little at some point.
And just for an idea of what I have in store for you all, here’s what’s to come. Provided I have the time and my squirrel muses do not abandon me.
THE QUEST OF THE SQUIRREL MUSES (glitterjewele, you need to help me with a title!!!)
When an author gets a major brain block,her squirrel muses decide to take matters into their own hands and take an adventure to find the acorn of inspiration!!! (will be dedicated to glitterjewele, and will be just for humor)I'm currently working on a pseudo-sequel for Line Crossing.
And just for kicks…and for more advice…lol I got this from a friend
18 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”
5. Put Decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Expresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”
7. Don't use any punctuation
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
10. Specify that your drive-through order is “To Go.”
11. Sing along at the Opera.
12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why all the poems don’t rhyme.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
14. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
15. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I WON! I WON!”
16. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling,"Run for your lives, they’re loose!!"
17. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...
18. Copy and send this list to someone to make them smile...It's called therapy
And with that I shall send thee forth to unleash the insanity! MUAHAHA! starts coughing and choking And so thank you for reading my obscenely long and updated profile. And now that we are parting…I leave you with these words…
“May your life be like toilet paper…long and useful.”