i find hope in the brightest of lights.

[ the time has come for this to bleed. ]

bleak emptines and no control leaves me blind.

don't forget: we're in this together.

we bleed, we forgive, and we love. strong religious themes

there is no pretending in this game of blood.

for perfection, beauty, and love.

we know better than to play against the rules.

i am left to face the myriad of wounds.

your eyes paint the sky.

i apologize for such raw honesty.

[i'm better than this.]

[i can't say this but i feel it.]

[i will love You.]

[like this, we are at our best.]

[this i choose to bleed.]

[tell her she was made to dance in white dresses.]

[i'm bleeding, not breathing.]

[i don't know myself anymore. please, don't judge. this is raw, open, and bleeding for her.]

[as he tells her everything she's needed to hear.]

[but you will never save me.]

[she made me believe i was worth more than i know i'm not.]

because there is nothing left [of me].

there are no words, only pain and numbness.

it's been six days.

throw me against the wall, only to watch me b r e a k.

from broken lips to open wounds.

and you beg to tell a different story.

but would it be for the better?

to fill it with words of meaning instead of my blood.

but the words bleed.

despite all the pros and cons of my life against yours.

bloody, broken, and torn, leaving her to wonder how many she has left.

as i'm left here to bleed.

the facts that are screaming in your face.

to why it hurts so much.

it hurts too much to breathe (with a finger down my throat).

as if i could forget (the bleeding).

my s(k)in peels from burning acid memories.

on all the things you (never) said.

hanging in the air. (i need to grab onto something.)

not to bleed (for you). it makes me sick.

but you won't listen.

i was never ready.

even though i don't bleed (anymore).

perfect(less) in almost every way possible.

i do it all for nothing.

her dreams to fit in.

empty&broken&alone.

for once, i'm listening.

it's in the way i thought i almost lost him when everything feels so right.

i would do anything to change things.

& something has to be right in the midst of everything that's wrong.

i don't want another one.

& they only judge by what they see. i never wanted to be this way, i swear.

please, stop me from f a l l i n g. [complete]

i don't want it to happen (again).

only dreams are better.

to let go of you & let this s l i p away.

for everything that it (/she) did.

in memory of the things that have caused me to fall, b r e a k & bleed. [complete]

as if it would make a difference.

it's just too good to be true. is it real?

empty & dry until i'm no more.

i'm better off this way - simply b r o k e n.

i know it hurts me more than it hurts you but some(/thing)one needs to b r e a k.

i wish i could forget this as easily as you have.

try to fix this b r o k e n girl back together [again].

even though it hurts, i couldn't stand to be anywhere else.

the razorblade in her pocket has to do her some good. [blue-eyes flash quickly in her direction.]

even though i long for His.

i made [a fourth] one for you. it's been a year & here is my ode.

i only wish it was that easy for me.

[inspired] these songs that run through my head remind me so much of you.

i don't want to bleed like this any longer.

because your eyes leave my flesh tainted.

or at least throw this all in your face to (try to) get you to understand.

it's just not that easy for me. & i don't think it will ever be.

how can it be when i'm reminded every day of what you do?

the shards cut me like blade meeting skin.

an equal trade, don't you think? (although you don't bleed.)

the words (you never said) crush me.

one that i can't even keep.

it's your (burning) name that dripped off my tongue.

mock me like you think you understand.

perhaps we've changed for the better.

and i thought it was only a myth [although i bleed red].

simply stated. you must be the best one yet.

like new fallen snow on the ground that quickly turns to water (/blood).

i seem to be asking the same questions again, only to have silence as a reply.

this silence leaves a bitter smell in the air & the worst taste on my tongue.

you put me through this every day.

has it really been that long?

for more than just the sake of myself.

more than you need to hear this & more than i want to admit it.

& everything i want you to know could never be put into words.

the things that hurt me the most [memories of acid tears, broken promises, lies & cyanide].

than the acid words that drip from your tongue.

& help me realize that i'm not alone [and i never will be].

the ones that have no need to be spoken.

every time i think of you & what we used to be.

even though i want to forget [just like you].

we can't be because you don't hurt like i do.

when i want you to hear [know & see] everything. [prose - haven't written one in awhile]

how much did i really mean to you?

to know how much You really love.

e v e r y t h i n g that we used to be.

and you lied to me when you said you were my best friend [oh, i wish i knew it then].

and i could end this all.

she lied to me too. [andibelievedher.]

and i just can't help myself [not without her].

the heavens deserve such a better angel.

[everything] for her.

they said that i was perfect. [it'sabunchoflies.]

afoolforbelievingherlies. simply stated.

letmeSCREAMthisinyourface - over and over and over again. [butyouaren'tlistening]

thisis[everything]i'mdoingforher. but she s t i l l doesn't see it.

andistillcan'tstopthe[burning]tears. but this is typical from someone like me.

she's cried too many tears and cut too many times to think that she has nothing left. but this is all from heartbreak and the things she wants to hear.

i drew everything along my arms to show the pain that i'm feeling. but it hurts too much to know that you don't care. and you never did.

two conflicts i'm fighting [along with the tens of other small ones eating away at my heart]. i know they never said it was going to be easy but i never thought it would get this far...

i don't think you fully understand what you are doing to me. it hurts me every day and every time i see the scars across my wrists. i think you knew what i was doing but you didn't even try to stop me. some friend you were.

i promise you that this isn't a game that i'm playing. your silence leaves scars carved into skin and it adds up to everything else that you didn't say. paint me to be broken and just oh-so cliched...