Hello, possum!

Name: Rio
No, seriously. Name: I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you
Age: 17
Sex: You wish
Birthday: If you're not planning on giving me a present, I see no reason to tell you
Location: Here
Height: I love looking up at the world
Weight: You don't really care
Hair: Yes
Eyes: Two
Marital status: Single and adoring it
Religion: Secular Jew
Political views: Left-wing libertarian
Favourite genres: Comedy, satire
Favourite place: The drama room at my school, where I usually congregate with my favourite people.
Favourite people: I won't tell you that, but chances are you aren't one of them
Favourite color: Red
Favourite meal: Club sandwich and yam fries
Favourite drink: French vanilla coffee from Tim Hortons
Favourite real drink: I hate alcohol
Favourite music: Led Zeppelin, the Who, the Doors, the Ramones, AC/DC, the Stones, Deep Purple, Cream, Cheap Trick, Electric Light Orchestra, the Alan Parsons Project, Dire Straits, Bachman-Turner Overdrive, Fleetwood Mac, Stevie Nicks, Black Sabbath, the Beatles, Aerosmith, Queen, Nirvana, Metallica, Steve Miller Band, Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Van Halen, Jimi Hendrix, Chris De Burgh, the Eagles, Supertramp, Billy Idol, Blondie, the Cars, Jesse Cook . . . and too many more to list
Favourite song of the moment: "Shot Skirt, Long Jacket" - Cake
Favourite TV show: Frasier
Favourite movie: Super Size Me
Favourite musical: Avenue Q
Favourite actress: Audrey Hepburn
Favourite male actress (smirk): John Cleese
Favourite book: Backlash, Susan Faludi
Favourite poem: "The Raven" - Edgar Allan Poe
Favourite comic: Anything by Andy Donato
Favourite sport: Badminton
Favourite vehicle: Toyota Yaris hatchback
Favourite school subject: English
Career goal: Advertising executive/comedian
Fate: Writing this stuff
Hobbies: Writing (doy), drawing cartoons, reading, improv, the Internet, listening to music, hanging with friends, criticizing stuff needlessly, burning stuff (just kidding), insulting people who deserve it, sleeping
Dislikes: I don't have enough time to tell you
Words of wisdom: "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." - Gloria Steinem
Why I called you a possum at the beginning of this profile: Look in the mirror

Thanks to Goten4Ever, AmateurAnarchist, M.P. Solo, and MoRBid for adding me to their favorites lists.

Also thanks to Infinite Abyss, Sarah-Brighteyes, YueDreamer, Broadway Doll, b likes to write, PoliticsMan101, TwystedFate, Athrious (my goddess, Alaneer, On Mercury, Munchin, The Monolith, ta1nt3d1uv, WittierBanter, LordK, insert funky name, Seeker Of The Way, Angelic Winter, Marjorie Swann, pneumothorax, and Radynfor their reviews.

No thanks to Caboose 4 Senate for his review.

Note to reviewers: Flames will be used to sacrifice chickens to the god of writing.

Check out my blog, Blame it On Rio. Liberals will love it and conservatives will hate it, but both are welcome.