GreenLantern500
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Joined 04-17-04, id: 408673
Author has written 44 stories for Horror, General, Humor, Supernatural, Love, War, Humor, Song, Life, and Essay.
I am finally online, and no one's sanity is safe. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH (Deep breath) AHAHAHAHAHA!I am an unrepentant comic book geek who will gladly bore you with statistics about the first full appearance of the Green Goblin. I am also a hopeless romantic who gets futile crushes on beautiful girls on a bimonthly basis, especially if said girls hold me in the same regard as fecal matter. My favorite movies are "Spider-Man", "The Untouchables", "Raiders of the Lost Ark","Van Helsing" and "Pirates of the Caribbean". My favorite book is "Good Omens", by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. My favorite musicians are the Capitol Steps and the late Warren Zevon. My favorite person is a several-way tie between all my friends (defined here as "people I don't wish any specific harm"). I'm also a flaming liberal, and will gladly arm-wrestle anyone over our foreign policy. I am renowned for my Marge Simpson impression.
Love, Zack "Studly McHotness" Budryk
"In the heart there are windows and doors.
You can let the light in, you can feel the wind blow.
When there's nothing to lose and nothing to gain,
Grab a hold of that fistful of rain."
-Warren Zevon
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Bite me, I Explained by Guitar Dude reviews
Funny story about Buck Futter and his experiences in 8th grade. PG-13 for language. FINISHED! Read and review Please!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 64,997 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 10 - Updated: 8/25/2004 - Published: 7/31/2003
Any Idiot Can Make a Pissed Off Poem by The Great Charlatan reviews
You all have made them, and I make fun of them.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 242 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/11/2004
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Gimme Shellfish reviews
Don't you hate it when a restaurant has the nerve to serve something other than what you want? I mean, it's your money. Inspired by one too many trips to Boston, to the tune of the Stones' Gimme Shelter.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 229 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/15/2007 - Complete
The Center is Not Enough reviews
Third part of my school trilogy, with the same characters. An international caper, featuring Jack the Ripper,
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,434 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 3/3/2007 - Published: 8/24/2006 - Complete
The Ballad of George Allen
A tribute to my favorite faux pas since our President's "major league asshole right over there". To the tune of "MacArthur Park".
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 175 - Published: 8/21/2006
Sympathy for the Dark Lord reviews
Are you a Rolling Stones fan? Are you a Harry Potter fan? Read this before you finish your Trelawney/Keith Richards erotica.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 202 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/23/2006
A PoorlyTitled Mimesis Story reviews
Stupidity loosely based on real (and stupid) events.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,176 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 4/25/2006 - Published: 10/14/2005
Behind These Crazy Eyes reviews
I don't usually write parodies of songs I don't like (Kelly Clarkson's "Behind These Hazel Eyes), but criminal insanity is so gosh-darn funny.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 183 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/15/2006
Cruiser reviews
Oh, Tom Cruise. Is there anything you can't do? Besides not annoy everyone? To the tune of "Loser" by Beck, ironically enough,
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 296 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3/25/2006
Ring of Liars reviews
Welcome to Washington. To the tune of "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash. Not for conservatives.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 162 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/6/2006
The Ballad of Tom Rafferty reviews
Some crap I came up with after watching "Miller's Crossing". Please R & R.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 363 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1/17/2006
Wake Me Up When The Bender Ends reviews
My fourth Green Day parody; this one's a loving tribute to the demon in the bottle.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 266 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/3/2005
House Majority
A tribute to Tom DeLay, to the tune of Green Day's "Minority". Don't read if you're one of the three Tom DeLay fans out there.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 157 - Published: 10/6/2005
Stuck In The Middle of School reviews
Don't watch "Reservoir Dogs" while doing homework. Seriously.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 315 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/4/2005
The Ballad of the Sinners reviews
My attempt at a creepy poem-type thing after I wrote a play with the same plot.
Poetry: Song - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 251 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9/28/2005
Idiot Ness: Private Eye reviews
The adventures of a dumbass in a fedora and trenchcoat. Several characters are based on my friends.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,104 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 9/23/2005 - Published: 1/22/2005
Level of Hell reviews
A must for fans of Weezer AND eternal suffering. To the tune of "Beverly Hills".
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 324 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9/21/2005
St Patrick's Day reviews
Let's all party hearty to the tune of Green Day's "Holiday". Please note, I'm Irish, so this is self-parody.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 257 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/28/2005
Mr Dark Side reviews
A tribute to the time when Star Wars was good, to the tune of the Killers' "Mr. Brightside".
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Parody/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 355 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2/21/2005
Inferno reviews
Bless your heart, Dante. To the tune of U2's "Vertigo".
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 172 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2/20/2005
Syndicated reviews
Ah, the life of a talk-show host. To the tune of Dashboard Confessional's "Vindicated."
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 318 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2/5/2005
The Zombie Song reviews
A loving tribute to the undead to the tune of Evanescence's "My Immortal". WIth apologies to Evanescence and all their fans.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 298 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/5/2005
1865 reviews
A parody of Bowling For Soup's "1985". If you're a Southern patriot who's easily offended, keep in mind, no one made you read this.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 213 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 1/18/2005
Piety reviews
A psychopath who thinks he's Jesus kills people an' stuff. Please R & R.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,612 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 12/16/2004 - Published: 5/21/2004
The Gummi Bear Wars reviews
Like my love song, based on true events. Unlike my love song, the stupidest, most puerile claptrap you'll ever read. Features the Necronomicon, Australian thespians, spork torture and more. As of 12/12/04, FINISHED! Please read and review.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 10,613 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 12/12/2004 - Published: 9/13/2004
You Will Believe reviews
A tribute to Christopher Reeve I wrote for the paper where I work. You may say it's a little late, but it's never too late with a guy like this.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 463 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/26/2004
Boulevard of Broken Legs reviews
Let's hear it for the mob enforcers; they make life worthwhile. To the tune of Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams".
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 298 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11/24/2004
God Loves, Man Kills reviews
My response to everyone who thinks their religion entitles them to spread hate. Title taken from an X-Men comic, believe it or not.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Angst/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 201 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11/24/2004
Senator Kerry reviews
The lament of an avid Democrat. To the tune of "Eleanor Rigby" by (gasp! How dare I) the Beatles.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 197 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/10/2004
Caffeinian Rhapsody reviews
This is my life; to the tune of you-know-what.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 264 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/1/2004
Farewell, Excitable Boy reviews
My tribute to the late, great Warren Zevon. BONUS: Features a Keats reference, kids!
Poetry: Song - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 232 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9/30/2004
A Plea To RightWing Talking Heads reviews
Exactly what it promises. Like most of my stuff, this isn't for conservatives.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 282 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9/8/2004
The Hell? reviews
Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones will be playing Jack Sparrow's father in the Pirates of the Caribbean sequel; my reaction in song to that announcement.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 243 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6/19/2004
Don't You? reviews
A D-Day tribute. Please read and review.
Poetry: War - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 219 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/6/2004
The Ranger reviews
Little ditty 'bout Jack and Diane. Wait, no, this is a little ditty 'bout Aragorn, son of Arathorn to the tune of Dion's "The Wanderer". #3 in the LOTR parody series.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 240 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/1/2004
Boromir reviews
A song parody to the tune of the Beach Boys' "Barbara Ann".
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 180 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/1/2004
Stacy's Dad: The Vengeance reviews
He's back, and he's pissed. To the tune of Fountains of Wayne's "Stacy's Mom".
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 384 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 3 - Published: 5/22/2004
2003 The Limerick reviews
It's a bit late, but here's the year 2003 in limerick form. WARNING: This gets a bit partisan, so conservatives may want to steer clear.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 219 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/22/2004
Dancing Like A Dork reviews
Once, a kid auditioned for a musical. This is his often-depressing true story. To the tune of the Boss
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 242 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5/21/2004
The Saruman Song reviews
A little ditty about everyone's favorite evil wizard, to the tune of the Offspring's 'Pretty Fly (For A White Guy" Note: This is based on the books, so there is some stuff at the end that wasn't in the movies.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 480 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 5/21/2004
Less Than Friends reviews
A love song/poem based on an experience of mine. Please read and review.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 184 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/2/2004
Stereotypes reviews
An apparently psychopathic death row inmate clears up a particularly pesky stereotype with the priest who gives him last rites. Please read and review, if you're not squeamish.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,394 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 5/1/2004
The Devil Went Down to Boston reviews
A parody of "The Devil Went Down To Georgia" by an angry Red Sox fan. Update: WE WON, BEE-OTCH! I didn't update it, I just wanted to say that.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 419 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/25/2004
Dumb reviews
A musical salute to a certain president. Best when sung to the tune of Linkin Park's "Numb". Don't read this if you're a Republican.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 257 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 4/24/2004
Great White Hunter reviews
England's greatest adventurer harbors a dark secret until the day he dies.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 251 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/20/2004
Only A Dream reviews
A weird idea I had while I was thinking about nothing. All the grammar errors in the dreams are intentional.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,489 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4/19/2004