I've refurbished my profile! The only new thing that's happened with my account, really.

Hello Stranger, who found my profile page and (possibly) wants to know more about the Great Being, that is Me (or you might just be bored).

Firstly, a nod to my lovely Beta Aemilia. She's been a great support to me during the years we've 'known' each other (living in different continents does limit the relationship a bit), and it's always entertaining to see her comments on my stories, even if they are comments on my mistakes. Her stories are the best, and you should check them out here: http://www.fictionpress.com/u/431204/

(More info about her stories at the bottom of my profile page)

I think also Solemn Coyote deserves a mention, as he is a great writer. He has reviewed the entirety of Avalant as for now, and come with a lot of helpful critique and suggestions. Also, he's responsible for making me continue Vampires and Such. You should check out his stuff as well: http://www.fictionpress.com/u/522038/

Apart from beta'ing Aemilia's stories (she's sadly very busy with school and being grown up and all that stuff now), I also beta Gothshake's stories! Check out his works here: http://www.fictionpress.com/u/553983/

Most of the writing you find on my profile, I think is crap. (I'm quite sure I thought so when I uploaded it so many years ago too, but now I think so even more).

The one story that, per my definition of today (21st of March, 2007), is not crap, per se, (read: it has potential), is Vampires and Such. You may go and read that if you like.

The rest of my stories, are crap. They might have potential. But they're in great need of serious rewriting and revision. My extremely popular Avalant, As For Now (snort), is the one that I am currently trying to do something about (when I'm not too busy doing other important stuff, like writing lots of other stories that I (thankfully) haven't uploaded (because I'd never update them anyway), playing sims 2, draging other fictionpress authors down in the dirt (muahahahaha, your writing sucks!) -just kidding, I'm usually a nice reviewer, just very lazy- or just don't do nothing (which is very important too)).

I haven't gotten very far in the whole rewriting/revising process on Avalant, but at least I've managed to establish some sort of plot outline, which my stories have a complete lack thereof. Always. Every one of them. They say it's important for a story's continuation to have one. Dang.

My updates are sparse, irregular, and might never come...I am a very unorganised and unproductive author (the worst kind there is).

Also, don't review me just because you want a review back. I'm often too lazy to review back, unless you've got an exceptionally good story (but that implies that I've been so energetic that day that I've actually clicked onto your profile and read some of your work, which will more often than not, not be the case)

Ahem

If it was personal info you wanted, you're in luck now. I am:

- a girl (yes. Imagine that)

- 20 years old (though most of my writings here are from my younger days)

- Norwegian (Norway is a European country)

- If you saw my real name you might think it rhymes on rajah (which it doesn't)

- I have blonde hair and blueish eyes (I hope you wasn't thinking 'typical Viking girl' now...jeez, talk about profiling XP)

- I admit I am a geek, and I am quite proud of it (however, people often think I'm smarter than I am. And I have no idea how a computer works. Don't look at me if your computer isn't working properly. Come on, just because I read (fantasy) and did (occasionally) my homework at school, doesn't make me omnipotent)

- Anime, fantasy books (mostly Terry Pratchett), The Sims 2, fictionpress and fanfiction.net takes up a lot of my time. When I am not doing something else. Anything really. But probably nothing. I'm very good at doing 'nothing'...

About my stories (if you're too lazy to just read the summary... _ )

Vampires and such - my titles are always stunning...

Phyllis Porgy Blaketon is kidnapped by vampires (in who's excistense she doesnt' believe in), is turned in to a vampire (in which she refuses to believe), and now has to cope with being tortured by a sweet-looking, sadistical and insane lady (who apparently works in a hospital), and being patronised by the man who kidnapped her in the first place, because he'd much rather be without her as his responsibility. How can (un-)life get any worse?

So far it's only one chapter long. I have written half of chapter two. Am working on it!

The Family Dwindledust - weird name, huh?

Quite a bit like the Addams Family, I think, you know, life-styleish.

Unfinished. Might never get any updates!

Tyro og Karons motvillige eventyr - my only uploaded story in Norwegian

De tidligere guddommene Tyro og Karon må vandre jorden sammen i 10 år, for en forbrytelse de ikke har gjort.

Unfinished. Might never get any updates!

Tyro and Kharon's involuntary adventure - same story as above, only in English

The former gods Tyro and Kharon is sentenced for a crime they didn't do, and must wander the earth for 10 years as humans. Sucks when one is completely daft, and the other can't stand his guts.

Unfinished. Might never get any updates!

Avalant, As For Now - Thanks to Solem Coyote I've realised that this title actually suits the story very well. Thank you:D

Avalant has voices in her head. They have very persistent personalities. One of them is possibly a psychotic killer. When Avalant rescues Tacritan (who claims he is a prince), her rather weird life takes a turn to the worse. And who is Kereel anyway?

Unfinished. Currently undergoing the process of rewriting. Have finally gotten a plot outline! (thank you, Solemn Coyote for giving me feedback on my ideas, and coming with a few suggestions yourself!) :D

Harvest Moon - my first post on fictionpress

A 'gothic horror story' assignment from school some years ago. I was the only one who actually wrote something similar to gothic style... everyone else just wrote a normal ghost story, situated in present time...so the teacher actually said that he liked mine the best, and I'd accomplished the task the best...a bit proud about that, but we didn't get any marks...blargh...XP

It's about an old dying man, waiting for the doctor to arrive.

FINISHED! A little bit of rewriting wouldn't harm though...

Others:

You should all be grateful towards Aemilia, who is my beta. Though not everything is corrected, things would be a lot worse without her (note: she has only beta'd Avalant as for now and Tyro and Kharon's Involuntary Adventure...and a lot of other things that are not published here XP), and her suggestions for plots and such matters are genious! You should vist her page: http://www.fictionpress.com/profile.php?userid=431204

Check especially out her I'd Rather Be Hanged, The Pack-finished!, and the brand spanking new Dreaming of Grandeur which is a continuation of The Pack, only funnier (I think...only one chapter up so far, but hillarious). But anyway, anything coming from Aemilia is worth checking out...she's one of the funniest authors I know of :)

And also, Aemilia has been kind enough to draw me a picture of Avalant (:D)...check it out here: http:///deviation/27080186/

She's also tried a few pictures of Kereel, but since I haven't quite sketched him out in my own head, they're still just suggestions, and therefore are not found on her page...:P

Memorable/funny quotes/situations from stories:

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/1700555/1/

"Are You Now Or Have You Ever Been?" by Aemilia

Job Application Questions: Are you now or have you ever been a vampire? (if yes, please explain)

Are you currently under any geis, curse or compulsion that would prevent you from executing your duties as a security/body guard? (If yes, please explain.)

Beck looked at the question again. It still read the same. He shrugged and marked ‘no.’ He wasn’t in any position to be picky when it came to getting a job. His rent was over due. He’d taken to climbing out the window to avoid running into his landlady.

The man smiled coldly, “Then you have your self a job, Keirnan. Sit down, I’ll have you sign the contract,” Mr. Carver rummaged in his desk while Beck uneasily took a seat. He produced a thick folder, a small razor, a shallow glass dish and a feather quill. Beck stared at the paraphernalia in confusion, unsure what drug took a feather quill to imbibe.

Beck wearily replaced the sword on the rack with the others. When he’d woken up this morning, he’d thought that he knew the greatest suffering possible. Now he realized that he had been terribly, terribly wrong. What he was feeling now was the worst suffering ever, and he had a sneaking suspicion that tomorrow he’d be reassessing again.

“I’m a werewolf. Woof,” Rithin grinned at Beck.

Beck knew he would never live it down. Especially not with a bunch of immortals. That was one of the good things about humans- you could always hope you’d outlive them.

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/1735551/1/

"I'd Rather Be Hanged" by Aemilia

I was in that sort of numb state where all you can really do is vaguely hope that you won't be conscious when they start to rape and torture you and it was not a very happy place.

My captors were panting and extremely red in the face. I would have felt sorry for them, but they were evil bastards who deserved to die, so I didn't.

I'm twenty-two. And unmarried. You can imagine my father’s horror.

“Hello,” I said after a moment or two. I wasn’t really at my wittiest.

Andarina: “I promise not to kill you today.”

Mirielle: “What about tomorrow?”

Andarian: “Not tomorrow either.”

Mirielle: “What about the day after?”

Andarian: “We’ll see.” That was the answer my mother gave when she knew I wouldn’t like the real answer.

Mirielle: “How do you know?”

Andarian: “I can see the future.”

Mirielle: “Really?!”

Andarian: “Of course not.”

“You get on my nerves,” I said in exasperation.

Andarian: “I assure you the feeling’s mutual.”

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2185360/1/

"Delusions of Grandeur" by Aemilia:

"Cates glowered down at his cowering minion. Well, the minion wasn’t actually ‘cowering’ per se. And Shelly would probably object to being called ‘minion’, but never mind that."

"He’d had no idea being a master vampire would be this much work. But unfortunately is seemed to consist of alternately cajoling and bullying weaker vamps into obeying him and not being completely stupid. Not nearly as much seducing of innocent virgins as he’d hoped."

"Shelly rolled her eyes. Uppity minion."

"Christ, werewolves. How cliché."

Other:

"The enemy is near our doormat, and from there...the door is not far away." - Goth-chan, you're just a well of good comments ;)

http://www.fictionpress.com/u/553983/