How do we forgive our fathers? Maybe in a dream? Do we forgive our fathers for leavin' us too often, or forever when we were little? Maybe for scarin' us with unexpected rage, or makin' us nervous because there never seemed to be any rage there at all? Do we forgive our fathers for marryin' - or not marryin' - our mothers? For divorcin' - or not divorcin' - our mothers? And shall we forgive them for their excesses of warmth or coldness? Shall we forgive them for pushin' - or leanin'? For shuttin' doors, for speakin' through walls - or never speakin'? Or never bein' silent? Do we forgive our fathers in our age, or in theirs? Or in their deaths, saying it to them, or not saying it? If we forgive our fathers, what is left? Smoke Signals - 1998.

From the Scrolls of Mary!

Wow, it seems forever since I last updated my profile. Things have changed, my life taken on a brand new meaning I didn't know it could. Did I mention I was divorced and remarried all in the span of three years? So here's an update on my life all!

Annelina is five now, and the light of her mama's life. Innocent and sweet, she's so much like me it hurts my heart sometimes. She's tall for her age, thin as a twig and has my immediate stubborn nature. Mama's black hair and brown eyes and Papa's personality mixed with a bit of mama's.

Then there's Trystan, or Twister. He's four now. Can you believe it? Four years old with a brand new prosthetic ear and loves, and I mean loves to cuddle. If he could, he'd be cuddling mama all day long. My sweet Twister, due to unfortunate circumstances it hurts me too badly to go into, has lost his long hair and sports almost a buzz cut now. But he talks wonderfully, I suspect he's going to be the smartest baby in school. Those two are the lights of my life, the angels of my heart, and soon to be, big sibblings!

That brings me to my third spark of news! Due to said unfortunate circumstances, Fictionpresses own Adrian Baker and I did not work. And lost was I until this tall, dark and handsome Lakota man slipped in and swept me off my feet. My beloved Alexander, with intelligence that makes me feel awed just to be in his presence and a mind so sharp it would probably cut through the points of all needles. He's absolutely brilliant, and better even than that, I somehow caught his attention enough to love me. I'll never know how, but hey. Why question a good thing? He gave more to me than I think I could have found on my own, and my children--his stepchildren, love him beyond reason.

I'm only glad I found a traditional love of my own, that I can stand and walk through life and forever with, who's just as spontaneous and determined as I can be and who loves me for me.