Never leave - I warn you now - the comfort of your own country

Hero is on a quest to seek out the "wizard", but a stranger on the way causes him to contemplate on why. A satire of the 'fantasy' genre.

A love-sick poem tries to communicate with its reader.

A house-moving experience obsessed with the rank quality of the carpet.

Why do some of us need things like this : ) and this : ( to understand a satirical response? Isn't your English and punctuation good enough?

Romance is sex dressed up. Transposition of Andrew Marvell's 'To His Coy Mistress'.

Most children have best friends. What they mean by ‘best friend’ is a person, usually another child, with whom they spend a majority of their time. Sad to say, I never had a ‘best friend’, though some may argue that I did.

Schoolboys are lush - but which ones? The real or the fashioned? Inspired by Robert Herrick's poem 'Delight in Disorder'.

Five haikus reflecting the nature of one autumn afternoon...

Portrait of a misogynist. (Third villanelle).

Tell people their mistakes and they're fated to make them anyway. (History = Reverse Psychology)

For Andrew Townsend, a simple invitation to dinner turns inexplicably into a nightmare.

Bleak parody of William Blake's poem.

Respect for someone who decides to kill themselves. (Second villanelle - completely rewritten.)

Every film gets this part wrong. (Goes to show money can't buy perfection, hmm.)

Some parents deserve sadness and loneliness in their old age. (Malice prepense.)

Some of us grow distant from our parents.

A wandering musician dedicates himself to a lady he has only met once.

Based on Edgar Gambin's version of 'The Last Supper'. The only thing we're good at is watching - except this one guy, who tells us we'll be fine.

It's harder to become a smoker than it is to stop smoking.

War memorials just look nice.

Grass is obnoxious.

Dedicated to the one I love - but who is it? (Is it you)

Written from the perspective of the fly in Emily Dickinson's 'I Heard A Fly Buzz When I Died'.

Based on an article about a 7-year-old girl who is starved by her parents over 5 years. No one knew.

Something my neighbours - mature university students (supposedly) - posted through my letterbox today.

Thoughts can make you ill. Please think before crossing the road.

We all get these digital urges - the lads, more so.

Not all nights end with sexual encounters. You just think they do.

If it's there, take it.

A respectful bow to a fellow fictionspress poet (Macca Lane).

Comment on a recent piece of American research claiming that "marital rowing (is) 'good for wives".

Comment on the recent development of the 'Toddler',

Choosing to die is easy. Dying is the hard part.

One-handed philosophy.

Some people should mind their own business.

One man does not catch the train like everyone else.

While people are having it rough in Iraq, what are we doing at home?

Dreams make no sense when you're awake, but the ones you remember are worth it.

Written in protest against sexual harassment on Japanese trains. Features Japanese sentences.

IMPORTANT: Do not read if you are particularly sensitive.

Christmas parody of Rachel Sturges' 'Monday's Child'. Influenced by Tim Burton's 'Vincent'.

The sad truth: talking to a cat about your problems never makes you feel any better.

Sympathetic background to the depressed.

Why can't people just get along? And if they can't, why can't they give a good reason?

This is open to interpretation.

A sonnet about someone who gets so drunk she imagines herself to be a palm tree friends with God.

Written for those who are too shy to show themselves to the person they love.

It's time the dodo had his nonsensical revenge!

Critical satire of... whatever you like. (PG for use of the 'D' word.)

Sometimes, when you really, really love someone, doing this is going a little too far. (Italian sonnet.)

A story that hasn't been told to a fox before.

A serious/humorous outlook on drinking in pubs. (English sonnet.)

I'm certain this train of thought has been caught by more 100% of the thinking population.

Have you ever seen the sea at night?

You wake up to a bad day, but the rest of the world doesn't seem to know about it.

An indignant (and one-sided) response to the division of social classes by wealth, education – and chiefly - accent.

Being attracted to someone would bring harm rather than gratify...

For those who have tried their best to live on.

Beware, toilet graffiti. (Double cinquain.)

A shady character gone doolally?

Bitter version of the romantic sonnet by Elizabeth Barrett Browning (‘How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…’) aimed at every class’ Teacher’s Pet.

Being good-looking isn't as easy as some people think.

About a troubled young man.

A way to kill the conversation.

A short portfolio of words and phrases that accompany this word.

Doesn't anybody else think that porcelain dolls emanate Evil Intent?

Life is about living with confidence.

Written for Mothering Sunday 2004.

A satirical prayer in the Confession Box.

Influenced by an article read in the Daily Mail entitled "Adults act like children and children act like adults." Is it a wonder why the kids aren't alright...?

Dedicated to smokers.

Just when you think everything's dandy, that little voice starts talking. It tries to make the Way Out sound better than the Way In. It tries to make you give up.

Good-humoured response to a fellow fictionpress poet's haiku 'I Am Piano'. (Slightly revised.)

Written in response to gay marriages. What's the gigantic fuss about? Love is love, isn't it?

He's a man born to be questioned, yet he's born without the answers.

Satirical verse I once wrote on an envelope I sent to a friend. Mr Blair, poor bloke; doesn't know whether he's coming or going...

A satirical poem inspired by reading WW1 Literature. The only war that truly exists is the one between us and our minds.

Don't you get the feeling that, some days, life is just one huge song you don't know how to sing?

I wrote this poem after glimpsing an astronaut on a science textbook. I was trying to argue how the exploration of Space spoils someone's belief in (a) god. You go up there and find that you're in a vacuum - a Nowhere - so how can there be (a) god?

A short poem on what it is like to be a Saviour nobody appreciates or recognises.

Written with inspiration from the conditions of WW1 and the indignation of British soldiers during the War on Terrorism.

Sometimes, parents who mean too well do it too well. This is for the daughters (and sons) out there who think so too.

Social Anxiety (or Social Phobia, as it is also known) is - according to psycholgists and their statistics for the Government and the General Good of the People - supposedly the world's third most common mental illness.

For those who have had an experience similar to the person in this poem.