lola-in-slacks
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Joined 08-09-04, id: 429938
Author has written 52 stories for Love, Friendship, Family, General, Life, War, and Nature.
I have the soul of an artist but the mind of a cretin. Please read and be nice.
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Or you may not in which case you may or may not have opposing thumbs. Glance down and check.

Things I like are: Pastries, pencils that you can chew even though you shouldn't, dark eye makeup, sucking the salt off peanuts then chewing them, collecting jokes, drawing pictures of pretty girls in profiles and being kissed on the temple.
Things I don't like are: People with very irritating voices, people who don't swear, when the builders are using pneumatic drills and my desk shakes, and when I accidentally scrape my nail against a brick wall.
Things I wish I could like, but don't, are: Drinking milk and receiving oral sex.
Things I have worn in my hair are: Flowers, hairpins, cocktail umbrellas, pencils, school ties and paperclips.

Thanks for all reviews (in advance, and also not).

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Bathing reviews
Into the river, still holding hands, with fingers crossed.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 179 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9/20/2006
Blinded reviews
I'll never know why I did this to you.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 297 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/22/2006
Thoughts From Beyond reviews
Why did she do it? You can't know.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 178 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/3/2006
Rockpool
Not in the mood for this.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 75 - Published: 2/3/2006
The War Of Wants reviews
Come to my bed and then leave me before I wake, abandoner
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 146 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/27/2005
You, My Dear reviews
This one is sort of personal. Disgust treads along love. Shit happens.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 108 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/10/2005
Succubus reviews
Succubus- sucks out my soul through my mouth in a way that I love.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 44 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/4/2005
Waiting reviews
True love waits, I've been told. Where is it waiting?
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 116 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 3/19/2005
Early Daffodils reviews
Every time I see a daffodil.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 81 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/19/2005
Phantom reviews
Pregnancy scare. You know how it is.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 150 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 2/16/2005
Slack Mouth reviews
Rough touch only not so much (and she loves it still)
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 88 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/22/2005
Mother reviews
Food is love and love is food and an Italian's daughters are always too thin.
Poetry: Family - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 132 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 1/12/2005
Opium Eyes Baby reviews
Taste dark, taste sweet, taste dark.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 84 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 1/4/2005
Mono reviews
Hot rubber and rum-based cocktails on a mattress in your garage.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 101 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/2/2005
The Eye Of The Storm reviews
Be peaceful in each other's arms and hold on tight as Christmas festivities rage all around... we can only hope
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 154 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/19/2004
Today I Am God & Physics Doesn't Exist reviews
A bit of nonsense I wrote while procrastinating instead of doing my Physics revision for an exam tomorrow. I hate it, I hate it.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 96 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/12/2004
He Came Too Close reviews
About a guy I know. Go on, read it, it'll be something to do while the kettle boils.
Poetry: Friendship - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 293 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/10/2004
Three Hour Fury reviews
You know when you get really stressed and go and do something to help, then you look around and three days have passed and you've walked twelve miles and built six houses out of pure frustration? Well. It's more constructive than just taking drugs :D
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 122 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 11/28/2004
Whole & Without reviews
Some men don't seem to understand that not all girls need a boyfriend to feel complete... yup. I wrote this instead of going to my morning lessons. Which speaks volumes.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 66 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 11/26/2004
Candyland reviews
A bizarre lot of words heaped together, made bearable by the VAST COLLECTION OF NAKED LESBIAN PICS attached. Reviews welcomed.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 160 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/18/2004
Exasperated reviews
When you can't give someone what they think they need... yes it's to do with love. Not on best form though. Reviews welcomed and positively adored.
Poetry: Friendship - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 149 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11/15/2004
Contradictions reviews
The dirty linen of teenage minds
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Angst/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 181 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11/15/2004
My Dead Eyed Sweetheart reviews
Umm. Teenagers being bored with everything too early. Etc.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 198 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/6/2004
While Unconscious reviews
About sleeping, and men.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 152 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/30/2004
Martyr reviews
Self pity, an experiment with rhyme. AND NAKED LESBIAN CHICKS. For real.
Poetry: Friendship - Rated: K - English - Mystery/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 54 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 10/26/2004
The Silent Cane reviews
Guilt, love, death, naked lesbians, a must read. (OK I lied about the lesbians)
Poetry: Friendship - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 97 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/24/2004
One Soulless Bloom reviews
Science has demystified and destroyed beauty and love, among others. I, for one, am not pleased as that's all I ever write about.
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 96 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/17/2004
From The Jaws Of Death reviews
Guess what, it's about smoking cannabis. Isn't that a riot?
Poetry: Friendship - Rated: K - English - Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 185 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/16/2004
The Bare Bones Of Love reviews
Take a wild guess at what it's about. I would love you forever and deeply if you read and review this, unless you write cruel or stupid things.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 175 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/15/2004
On Acceptance reviews
As the Everly Brothers so cleverly pointed out, breaking up is hard to do. But as Ovid cunningly observed, this, too, will pass.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 143 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9/25/2004
And I Conclude reviews
More love poetry.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 86 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9/25/2004
Burning reviews
Told you.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 65 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9/23/2004
Selfish Tragedy reviews
I'm going through a rash of terrible writing at the moment. Bear with me.
Poetry: War - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 33 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9/23/2004
And Misery Went To My Head reviews
It's 6 am and I haven't slept. This has been in my head for a while.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Angst/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 22 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9/22/2004
Skinless reviews
Terrible. Just airing my dirty linen/feelings really.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 144 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9/22/2004
Feverish reviews
As the title suggests I am moderately feverish.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 114 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/22/2004
Like Trees reviews
Incoherent and about trees. Sort of. Also when stuff loses its sparkle.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 176 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9/21/2004
The Escape Route
My sister just moved out to go to uni... err thats it really.
Poetry: Family - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 107 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/19/2004
Modern Love Poem reviews
Love poetry AGAIN, do I never tire?
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 99 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 9/19/2004
My Predecessor reviews
On meeting your significant other's significant other. Read & identify. Creepy, isn't it?
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 9/17/2004
To My Mistress reviews
An outbreak of lesbian lust. Do you need another reason to read it?
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 99 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/10/2004
Reflection reviews
Very short. Kind of a first draft.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 39 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9/10/2004
Betray Me Gently reviews
Can everyone here say 'teenage angst' and 'shut up about betrayal?
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 91 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 9/2/2004
Jealousy Has A Beautiful Face reviews
Jealous girls may read & review.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 115 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 8/18/2004
Love Under Grey Skies reviews
Love poetry. You know you can't help yourself.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8/18/2004
On Her Wedding Day reviews
A bride's thoughts before marriage. I know it ain't a gem. It's sort of lighthearted.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 259 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/13/2004
Apologies To The Nameless reviews
Reasonably old and about the morning after pill.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 193 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/12/2004
You, As I Sleep reviews
Terrible and about dreaming repeatedly about your loved/lusted/urgently fancied one. Like it or lump it.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 101 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/11/2004
Toilette reviews
Gee whiz, this poem is old, and I wash my dirty hands of it.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 157 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8/11/2004
on having a cold personality reviews
This is a pile of pants in my book and they didn't even publish my book so that speaks volumes (they also didn't publish my volumes).
Poetry: Family - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 167 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8/11/2004
On Your Poems reviews
Poetry about poetry, surely a huge step forward.
Poetry: Friendship - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 132 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8/9/2004
on the dubious subject of my beauty reviews
Not my best. Be gentle.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 178 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8/9/2004