My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.

"I can’t have a crush on you! You’ve got an attitude that’s downright frightening, doesn’t take anyones advice and you breake the law when it suits you!”
“I do not. Besides, you’re not exactly my type either you know!”
“Why not?!”
“You think all men are scum, you are way too bossy and you act like some kind of feministnazi!”
“Oh yeah? Have a nazi ever kissed you like this?”

Pity is for the weak and dying, not for one who is as she is because of herself. Not one who can be proud of what she has made of a worthless life. One who can pretend that she might make a difference against something that knows her as well as she knows it and outnumbers her billions to one.

FACT: If Barbie was life sized here measurements would be 39-23-33 and she’d stand seven feet two inches tall.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

If at first you dont succeed...then skydiving is not for you

If payback's a bitch and revenge is sweet, I must be the sweetest bitch on this side of the planet

I do not believe in any god simply because then I would be tempted to blame all my misery on him, even when I know that I only have myself to blame.

The study prayer.

Now I lay me down to study

I pray the Lord I don't go nutty

And if I fail to learn this junk

I pray the Lord I do not flunk

And if I die, don't bury me at all

Just lay my bones in the study hall

And pile my books upon my chest

And tell my teachers I did my best

So now I lay me down to rest

And pray I pass tomorrows test

And if I die before I wake

That's one less test I'll have to take

And in the end: An answer to that nagging question. I LET THE DOGS OUT!!!

Things I have used in stories and poems that doesn't belong to me:

The song Stockholm Syndrom belongs to the group Blink 128.