JUMPANDSHOOTMAN
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Joined 01-30-05, id: 457353, Profile Updated: 04-24-17
Author has written 1 story for Manga.

Hello readers welcome to my page!

I am JUMPANDSHOOTMAN!

Thanks for clicking on this page, I don't have any tea or cookies I can give you. That either means I'm a shitty host or you're in some other part of the world. I'm pushing for the latter.

Hey have you ever thought this?

'Gawddamit, these stories are either really bad or really good and weird. I need to know who this JUMPANDSHOOTMAN is'

If you're reading this profile page then your quest is complete. If you're on youtube or doing anything else then well...what the hell are you doing thinking about me randomly for? Sort out your life.

Some things about me

1.) I'm an Atheist
Now that oughta turn some of you off right there, what can I say I like to hit the hard issues first. I'm not one of those atheists that think people are stupid for believing in god. I used to think that way admittedly but hey I can't just go around calling 90 percent of people on this planet stupid now can I? A lot of people(my family, friends and even my wife) seem to be under this impression though that I'll just start believing when I feel the light of the lord. The only way for me to ever believe in any kind of god is if they appear before me first hand or communicate with me directly. That's the only way I'll ever believe that horseshit. (If you're offended by this then...take a crack at me or something just don't whine when you do it)

2.) I'm allergic to Shellfish
I know right? And it's especially weird since I was born on an island of crab, lobster and swordfish eating people.

3.) I'm not an Author
For the longest time I've been writing with the thought that 'hey, one day I'll be really serious and take this writing thing to Hollywood' but in actuality I had no interest in being an Author or a big time Mangaka. Honestly I just like to write this shit sometimes. It reduces my stress, I get stressed out to levels you won't fucking believe sometimes, I work really hard throughout the day and either doing this, playing video games or having naked cupcake fights with my wife seem to be the only things that calm me down lately. So yeah I do this for fun.

4.) How I deal with Constructive Critics
Constructive Criticism is fine, it helps. I don't even mind if you make jokes about it my writing. But flamers...nah, I'll never try to silence anyone but I will snap back at you for being a fucking dick. None of that shit you're TYPING by way as in not actually talking...is ever called for. I won't block you or anything and you're free to spam the hate all you want but don't get offended when I start lashing out at you about your shitty writing and that cunt of a mother that birthed you. Call it overboard or getting serious all you want but I'm teaching you a life lesson, you can't just go around saying whatever you want and expecting people to kiss your ass. It won't work like that motherfucker. Didn't work for me, DEFINITELY not gonna work for your ass.

It was these mediums that actually started moving my brain in a particular way.

5.) 14 years ago is when I first started Writing. I was 14 years old when my mother brought home a computer for the first time in the house. I've played Final Fantasies 7-10 and Kingdom Hearts and I was getting to learn all of these new creative outlets. Branching out of Final Fantasy into other RPGs like the Tales of series, Baton Kaitos, Lord of Rings. All of this stuff just swooped into my mind and it'd be all I'd think about and somehow I don't even remember when. I just sat at the computer and just decided to start writing out all of these ideas in my head. And I just haven't stopped.

It wasn't a 'HEY THIS IS WHAT I WANNA DO WHEN I GROW UP' or 'I'M GONNA MAKE A SOMETHING' I was just doing it. It became so second nature and fundamental for me to do that I'd sometimes write before I even did my homework. I'd sometimes write while I was in class, I was obsessed. The first story I ever wrote was called 'The Chosen One'. Kingdom Hearts and Alice in Wonderland heavily influenced it. Oh man those were the days.

6.) I'm a Panster
I write stories and make shit up as I go. I don't plan. If I do plan it out then it's not something that's going to be featured here.

I think that's enough for this profile page.

TO KHILANI/KADEN:

At the time of me writing this you're just a tiny little ball of cells inside of your mom's Uterus Lab. I used both names because I don't know if you're going to be a boy or girl yet. I just love you already! And I am DYING to meet you right now! Now obviously when you finally read this you'll know who I am and we will have met but I just wanted to show you this little piece of me that I don't show too often to people. Again, I love you kiddo now meet me outside...I've got the PERFECT PRANK to play on your Mom and I need your help. (Remember this was written during your mom's trimester so this prank has been cooking for awhile)

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The Unyielding, Undeniably Almighty Beast, Sol by Neurophysiologic reviews
Solomon Alder is by far the strongest existence in the entire universe. The only things he ever cared about were woman, food, and most importantly; himself. He is vulgar, rude, barbaric, and absolutely unstoppable. This is his tale.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,542 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/13 - Published: 6/7
Soar high with Dove Clan by JaDeCe reviews
Think you can hang with the Dove gang? When trouble strikes them, this family of magics must now go through every day trials and drama, while fighting crazy battles, vowing to protect each other and all of Holiday! "Family means nobody gets left behind, Because without family, we are nothing." Well, do ya punk? Do tune in! (Vol. 1) This for the kids: Don't read kids!
Fiction: Manga - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 45,728 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/6 - Published: 12/11/2016
Legend of the Dark Oracle by Dark Oracle reviews
Every story has its prequel, a beginning before it. Long before she called herself Oracle, long before she travelled the cosmos to tell the stories of past, present, and future...there was only Sasha Lovett. Everyone has their story, and for once the Dark Oracle shall tell her own.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 139 - Words: 150,023 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 5/23 - Published: 10/12/2015 - Complete
I Am Not The Hero by Lost Magic reviews
In this story I am not the Hero and trust me, that isn't a complaint. I actually like my life the way it is. Simple, boring, and, most of all, safe. But you would not believe how hard it is to keep it that way. See, I'm not the Hero of this story, and I am doing everything I can to keep it that way.
Fiction: Manga - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 34,077 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 3/13 - Published: 7/9/2015
HOSHI AKARI by ivegotwritersblock reviews
A government controlled teen spy, battles falling in love and, battling maintaining a public facade as a high s cool student, and learning she is actually part of a covert operation, a military weapon, and who travels between realms to pursue justice.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 12 - Words: 16,380 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/27 - Published: 10/27/2015
Taurus by The Last Artisan reviews
So, you want to hear a story of a great Hero? Well, why not a story about the Greatest Hero of All Time? His name was Syrisael Blackhorn, and he was only a boy when he saved his world. With two black horns sprouting from the top of his forehead, a legendary master to guide him, a beautiful Siren to care for him, Syris will save his world from the Fallen Gods of Kursimar!
Fiction: Manga - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 20,536 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/27/2016 - Published: 1/8/2016
Of Blood and Fantasy by Neurophysiologic reviews
Welcome to the story, Of Blood and Fantasy. A world of horror, death, hate, and fantasy. A world that should have never existed. It was supposed to be a fun Virtual Reality MMORPG, but something is just not right. In fact something is very wrong. I'm looking for harsh criticism on this story. I want to know what you dislike about this piece. Don't hold back.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Horror/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,556 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/7/2016
The Last Acolyte by Dark Oracle reviews
The Umbarian Witches, a clan of magic-weavers, have been nearly destroyed by the Brotherhood of Sol and their militant attack dog, General Garl. Strix, a young acolyte, is the sole survivor of the Brotherhood's raid upon the last bastion of refugee Witches. Now, she must make a choice whether to seek vengeance upon the Brotherhood, or to seek her destiny elsewhere. *Bios Accepted*
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Tragedy - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,600 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 10/12/2015 - Published: 5/21/2015
Cat Tale by NekoAttempts Writing reviews
Ren's whole life changed when one day his doorbell rang. When he opened it before his eyes lied a baby neko they soon named Akiko. They made her go to school like a normal kid, except she had to hide her tail and cat ears. One day she was revealed and they moved somewhere different where she went to this weird fantasy school. Her story continues from here.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,381 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/16/2014 - Published: 7/3/2014
Koukon Bridge by Twilidramon reviews
Loaño Ishida is probably the weirdest girl you'll ever meet. Insane jokes, crazy schemes, and so far, nothing special about her. Until, however, two new kids enter and change her whole perspective on the World and the things in it... Believable or not!
Fiction: Manga - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 790 - Words: 2,048,695 - Reviews: 1810 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 5/8/2014 - Published: 10/9/2008
Vanden Von Victus by Tobi-sama reviews
This story is set in planet Teton, a thousand years after the humans landed on it. The kingdom of Freca, had just suffered a bloody change of kingship and all the former king's loyalists were killed, including the prince of the land. With the new king in Freca, the planet was going to experience great tribulations. #POLITICS, ACTION, WAR AND FRIENDSHIP.
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,203 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/1/2014 - Published: 4/27/2014
Wanted Mage: The Rogue, Dante Mo by RodMan reviews
Former Assassin Mage Dante Mo spends his days evading the Kingdom of Gaia and its forces, avoiding killer terrorist groups, chasing down women and develops an unlikely companionship with a unique group of people who will all help him clear his name and find a man who will train him to defeat his father.
Fiction: Manga - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 39,732 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/7/2014 - Published: 11/19/2013
Senji Works by Tedi-Medoru reviews
Got a problem? Come over to Senji Works and we'll solve them all. Problems with a few missing objects, problems with the mafia, even problems in bed, we at Senji Works will solve them all.
Fiction: Manga - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 90 - Words: 186,241 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 8/25/2013 - Published: 2/20/2010
猫柳ちゃん : Nekoyanagi chan VOL 1 by monsterbunny reviews
Magical girls, a handful of bishounen the good and the bad , weird alley ways and an even weirder dimension is what Kyoko Haniki is going to experience when she helps a stray black cat. A slice of high school life is all you need to balance this out
Fiction: Manga - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Friendship - Chapters: 30 - Words: 100,265 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/1/2011 - Published: 1/27/2010 - Complete
Badass Mage Kel: Legendary Magical Scumbag reviews
Kel fon Grantz is a rude, perverted and self proclaimed most powerful mage in the universe...no...all of existence. He's a man with a tragic past who hides his pain by hitting on random women, not taking any situation seriously and name calling. These are the adventures of psychopathic mercenary magician and his goal to secretly pwn the universe. HARD LANGUAGExLEMONxECCHIxHAREM!
Fiction: Manga - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 63,125 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/26 - Published: 6/4