Intellectual Vanity
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Joined 02-07-05, id: 458720, Profile Updated: 12-14-08
Author has written 1 story for Fantasy.

Updated at some point during December 08


Well. Talking about yourself on these things is always a little pointless. I mean no-ones going to be perfectly honest and come out and say they're stunted and warty, or lanky and shortsighted. The internet is a wonderful way to create a perfectly charming and dashing version of yourself for everyone to enjoy and introduce to the gorgeous versions of themselves they prepared earlier.

I have one story in the works. I wrote it a long time ago under a different name and it embarrassed me so much that I have returned to make it something worth reading. Give it a go. It's actually quite fun.

Just for kicks, heres a list of my favourite quotes.

"And who is this pure fool? Lo,In the sagas of old time, legend of scald, of bard, of druid...Cometh he not in green like spring? O thou water that art air, In whom all complex is resolved! OH YES...fill the churches with dirty thoughts! Introduce honesty to the white house! Write letters in dead languages to people you've never met! Paint filthy words on the foreheads of children! Burn your credit cards and wear high heels! Asylum doors, stand open! Fill the suburbs with murder and rape! DIVINE MADNESS! Let there be ECSTACY, ECSTACY in the streets!! Laugh, and the world laughs with you"-The Joker

"Candy's dandy but liqour's quicker"~Ogden Nash

"Spring is sprung, the grass is riz,I wonder were dem boidies is"~Ogden Nash

"Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore and thats what parents were created for"~Ogden Nash

"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken"~Tyler Durden

"When one man dies, its horrible, when ten men die, its horrific, when ten million men die, its a statistic"~Joseph Stalin

"I'd rather have him inside the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in"~Lyndon B. Johnson

"I'd rather have a full bottle infront of me than full frontal lobotomy"~Unknown

"Mr Churchill, you are drunk!

Madame, you are ugly, but at least tomorrow I will be sober" Winston Churchill

"I have taken more out of Alcohol than Alchol has taken out of me"~Winston Churchill

"A mans mother is his misfortune but his wife is his fault"~Unknown

"I'am not afriad to die but I just dont want to be there when it happens"~Woody Allen

"Common sense is not so common"~Unknown

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The Chronicles of Lazarus, Part 1:Identity by lazarus-writer reviews
Due to the fact that I wrote this years ago, I am slowly going through and rewriting the chapters well! So please, newcomers and old fans, check it out and R&R
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 113,479 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 9 - Updated: 8/30/2006 - Published: 3/11/2005
xBlack Lotus by April Hammer reviews
Two men must protect their town from an epic, growing Chaos, no matter how bad the odds may seem. They must gather together the allies they have, strike sword against sword and find where and why Chaos seeps into their city.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 47 - Words: 115,878 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 5 - Updated: 5/30/2006 - Published: 6/30/2005
An End To All Things reviews
The party was actually pretty good till my house burned down and all my friends were slaughtered in a bloody massacre. Good thing the parents are dead. That'd be real awkward to explain in the morning.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Parody/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,946 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/14/2008