Just a humble retired Navy Guy working as a Civilian Air Operations Specialist at Scott AFB, Illinois.
Have you ever had a novel stuck in your head? If this has happened to you in the literal sense, you might want to get that checked out. I’m talking about the budding best seller that you have been telling yourself for years that you want to write. Once again, if you have literally been talking to yourself about this, it may be due to the paperback physically embedded in your skull. I promised myself that before I turned thirty, I would have completed my first novel. Thirty came and went and due to various world crisis, domestic difficulties and plain old ennui, it never got written. Now that I’m forty eight and retired from the military, I have finally put some pen to paper. Or in the modern sense: fingers to keyboard.
So. What is my book about anyway ?
For listeners of Coast to Coast AM/Live: It is the events that occured during and after the famous Millstadt, Illinois UFO incident.
For others: The story of a young time-displaced Patuxent River, Maryland test pilot by the name of Phaedra Manitoba and her adventures in the year 2008.
I have created a FUN parody of favorite authors that I have read and enjoyed over the years. Chief among them: Douglas Adams, followed by Tom Clancy, Tom Robbins, Dale Brown, Harry Turtledove and Dave Barry. It's kinda like a Seinfeld episode. Alot of fun stuff with no real plot.
You will encounter all this in some form while attempting to get through the bad syntax and dangerously dangling participles .
Anyway. My book contains the following:
1. A bunch of cute, freckled, time traveling Redheads who all have some sort of issue with each other.
2. A patronizing, shapeshifting alien (Nordic Class) that attended Wisconsin State based solely on the fact that it was the number one party school in the US.
3. Wisecracking military AI's by the name of BOB (Biological Onboard Buddy) whose intelligence is derived from steroid-plumped kitten brains.
4. Mysterious black triangles piloted by the cute, freckled, time traveling Redheads and the wisecracking military AI's by the name of BOB.
5. Entities from the 11th dimension that control 'Big Box' commerce throughout the galaxy.
6. A countdown to an alien invasion by the entities from the 11th dimension that control 'Big Box' commerce throughout the galaxy !
7. A mysterious Obelisk that has appeared out of nowhere and wins the hearts and minds of NYC tin foil hat people!
8. A timeline bending government contract organization by the name: Thyme-Lok Security Services. Motto: "HINDSIGHT IS 20/20".
9. Militaristic Amish.
10. And much MUCH more !
Since this project is still in the draft mode, you will encounter grammatical rule breaking on such a scale that it cause you a bit of queasiness. Don’t worry. When you pony up the 24 bucks for the hardback (or 7.95 for a paperback that will eventually end up in the Dollar Store bin next to a 700 page political hardback authored by Linden LaRouche), all that should have been corrected.
So Enjoy ! If you have any constructive comments, please let me know . Just to make things clear: 'You suck !' is not very constructive. If you do not like the plot, give me a reason why. I know Grammar Nazi's chomp at the bit to make corrections, but right now the book is all about content. I'm probably going to paying someone a pretty good chunk of my paycheck to rail me about sentence structure.
Patrick J. Brehm, USN (RET)
Scott AFB, Illinois