Author has written 14 stories for Humor, and Horror.
Real Name: Banana Jones (... hey, it could be)
I hope you enjoy toilet humor, farm animals and lots of suspense! So here goes a description of all my junk here on Fictionpress. Hope you enjoy! I like to think there's some... variety here. And all my poetry rhymes, dammit!
Mirror Image is a kinda horror story growing off the top of my head that really just might fly anywhere... Circles around Andres and a funky mirror brought home by his perfect sister Estefania (pronounced Es-tef-uh-knee-uh please!) Little do they know that this mirror is bad... very very bad, and it'd be perfectly happy if everyone just died... which is what soon will begin to happen... with a twist, hehehe! The first 12-Chapter part is officially completed, so please enjoy! As for the rest of it, I am deciding not to publish it just yet, meaning this story is NOT on hiatus (just progressing more slowly than before).
Beyond Apocalypse will try to be scary. Yes'm. It's a horror story, newer than Mirror Image but not yet as developed. This one goes on a more... global scale, let's say. It's about the end of the world- the REAL end of the world, so basically you know from the start that everyone is screwed. But I'm giving it a twist. Anyways, there are two characters, Mathias and Jordan (girl, not guy). Their stories are followed seperately, and they don't meet until the end (which in my story is the beginning). Confused? Nah! So please read and review! This one IS on hiatus.
Betsy the Cow is a toilet poem in five parts. Simple as that. If butts, poop and rodent suppositories disturb you, then steer clear from this one! It's about Betsy, a lovely cow, who struggles with her guilty conscience after she finds a rather nasty way of stopping her pooping problems (she literally stops her problems).Will she win the Cowboy Games? Will her "butt-clogger" be saved? Ahh... if you are jolly and light, this poem ought to click with 'ya!
A Tale of Two Froggies is actually a romantic poem I like to categorize as "Chronicalic" due to its size (eight freakin' parts). I vowed never to do cheesiness, but it just caught up to me and now I'm screwed. It's about frogs that fall in love, but some stupid coral snakes are out to make their lives a living hell. Will they ever manage to grant their tadpoles adulthood? Will they stop the snakes, or get killed? You'll just have to read to find out!
A Seagull's Print is a pretty simple poem. A seagull is trying to leave something behind in the world, and so he goes in search of the best place to make a mark.
Skimpy the Squirrel is about the ironies of life. Are you a squirrel lover? An animal activist? A squirrel hater? Or do you simply detest the beauty of spring because of the allergies that come along with it? Well then this is the poem for you! Unlike my other poems, this one is short.
Percy the Pigeon is about how a pigeon discovers that love at first sight is simply too good to be true. Unfortunately, it's kinda romantic. This is actually one of my more serious poems, yet it rhymes and deals with animals, so Yeah!
Roger the Rooster is my comeback poem! (First one I write after a few years' hiatus). It's about a rooster with dreams that are simply impossible for a rooster to accomplish. Still, he keeps on trying, at the expense of becoming the laughing stock of town. This one is also kind of serious (well, as serious as can be while dealing with things like frustrated roosters). Enjoy!
Ode to Poop is a glorification of that which never goes extinct, and no, it's not roaches. Need a hint? HAHA, I knew you didn't. Once again, my fascination with toilet humor shows through. It's short, it rhymes, and it'll make you more appreciative of poop.
The Moonlit Turd is a poem about pooping out on a lonesome beach under the starry sky and milky moon. However, things aren't always as peaceful as they sound... Pain, angst and lots of torture in this little poem!
My Rodent Slurpy was written at a time when I was suffering a creative low. Still, it rhymes, and is gross, and is about turning rodents into the best drinks around, so enjoy it!
Del Amor y Unos Gatitos is a short poem about lovey-dovey cats.
El Rano y la Rana is the original inspiration of my froggy chronicles, but much shorter... and very different.
Ardillita Feliz is the original Skimpy poem. Almost the same thing, but in its original language, hehe!
I really appreciate reviews, corrections, disgusted comments, whatever! Anything for the sake of improvement is cool!
And I'm not dead. Yet.