Author has written 24 stories for Life, Nature, Young Adult, Supernatural, Romance, and Song.
I'm not going to say much about myself on here. There's a lot to say, but it makes no difference. I'm one person, one woman, lost in the sea of faces. But I can tell a little:
First off, I'm the quiet, brooding, wise, calm, and controlled one. I'm also the outcast. I don't care what I wear, about my hair, or about my face. Why should I?
With my control, I can act like anything without messing up. I can want to cry on the inside but easily have the biggest, brightest smile on the outside. I can act like someone who fits in, who cares about jewelry and cosmetics like other girls.
But I don't. I don't even try to fool them. I'll be the quiet outcast, the one thinking about things that go beyond my own small head. Why? Because I shouldn't have to change for others. I shouldn't have to think that it matters whether I'm accepted or not. I shouldn't have to change to find someone who likes me.
If you ever met me, you'd most likely see what I mean. I'm a lot like some of my story characters: dark, dangerous, depressed, numb, brave, wise, able to see beyond my shores, able to look and see things out of my eyesight. I take pride in who I am. I like that I'm not one of those braindead sicophants who care about how popular they are. I ask again, why should I care?
Now, as last: I belive maturity comes before age. Why, you ask? Some adults are like little kids. Some kids are like adults. Some are just right. But guess where I am? Try to guess my age.
13? 15? 20? 25? Guess again. I was born March 31, 1994. As of now I am eleven years old. But I have seen, heard, and experienced things no one should no matter what age. I have felt emotions that very few my age have. Maybe it's because I read so much, because I delve so deep into the pages that I add the characters' experiences to my own, I feel what they feel, I've done what they've done. Or maybe it's just because of me. Who knows? But I am what I am, and that's all that I am.
I'm also the one with health problems. I may not have diabetes, but I have a serious case of insomnia, sometimes I have trouble breathing, though it's not asthma, I have a history of fainting, I get sick easily. But with all of that, I've learned to deal with it. I have tolerance, patience, strength, experience, and other things because of it. I know how to take it without complaining, without so much as wincing, but I also know when I need to stop and take a breath. I've gone through acid reflux, though I no longer have it. The doctors used to think I was diabetic, and I had to go through finger-pricking thrice a day when I was at least five. But pain isn't the only experience that adds to your character.
This is me. If I seem too in-depth, I don't blame you. Most don't think as far as I do. I see everything in other people's eyes, not just my own. I have the capacity to understand what is impossible to imagine. One of the sayings I've lived by for quite a while is:
"It's impossible to imagine; it's only challenging to understand."
Quotes from myself and others:
"Never second-guess your heart."
"The path of life is anything but a straight line. Don't take a wrong turn."
"Rewards come not from taking the easy way out, but from working your hardest and going out of your way to help others."
"If you're not willing to stand up for yourself or your beliefs, then your beliefs aren't what you truly believe."
"White lies are still lies."
"Knowledge is nothing to wisdom. Even the most knowleadgeable man in the world might be the dumbest when it comes to wisdom."
"The unexamined life is not worth living."
"Fall seven times, stand up eight."
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear."
"I am who I am, and I do not care to change."
My beliefs may seem odd to you. You see, we're not alone on this rock called Earth. No, I'm not talking about extraterrestrials. Now, while you're out there sitting and enjoying yourself with TV and refreshments, there are beings out there losing homes and food, shelter and water. Everything they need is being taken away. Their clean air is being polluted, their clear water becoming murky with hazardous materials. They're becoming endangered and extinct as we speak. I'm sure you know what--WHO--I'm talking about now. Yes, the animals. The living, breathing beings that have been here since before we can remember, since before mankind began.
Yes, I'm a treehugger if you want to say that. Too bad.
But I also believe this big rock is not only a rock that spins around the sun. It has life, conflicts, youth, elderly, ages, eras, millenniums, time, love, trust, hate, beauty, anger, sadness, glee, death. We're always fighting for our lives whether we realize it or not. To be prepared might save your life one day. We are living in aconstant battlefield. Battles of emotions, of good against evil, of hate against love, of sword against sword, of life against death, of freedom against slavery. We see people fighting for a living, and we don't do a thing. We see people dying, and we think, Oh, what a shame, but do nothing! We see slavery and pass it by; other people's lives turning to shambles and we look ahead instead of to the side.
Can you imagine what they must feel like? Can you think of what you would feel like in their shoes? Because of someone's color, they're shunned. If someone is of a different religion or are foreign we think, Oh, great, just what we need, more people coming; don't we already have enough?
The thing is, that's just dumb. I'm sorry, but that's just plain dumb. Really, look around and see the beauty that's turning to shambles because people put blindfolds over their own eyes! When this is gone, it's gone. We're going to bring another Ice Age, to start a nuclear war, to bring Earth to its knees and then look up and say, What did I do to deserve this? Well, you can see my point.
Think before you make your next move.
I'm sure if you've checked my poems you've seen the sorts like A Lie Behind These Hazel Eyes, things with severe depression and/or suicidal or cuting involved. Maybe simply the thought of going suicidal.
Yeah, the thought's crossed my mind more than once. I'm still depressed, but I've realized a few things. If you want to know those new thoughts, you can Coward's Way Out. I've gotten a few good reviews with that one, I'm hoping you'll agree it's true. It doesn't mean you can't be depressed and afraid or something of the sort...just don't take it out on yourself with knives and guns. It is a coward's way out.
I have many favorite bands. I prefer emo, indie, and metalcore. Sometimes rock. I also like Indian flutes, though it has nothing to do with anything else I listen to. I like Evanescense, Nightwish, Trapt, Seether, Pillar, So They Say, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, In This Moment, and other things, including Midnight Aria, nature living, Just Surrender. I usually listen to AOL Radio when on-line, and prefer to listen to the Gothic channel. I listen to Clan of Xymox, Terminal Choice, Diary of Dreams, and many other on that. I have a very mixed taste of music.
Bloodied Bonds--Crow and Raven are mortal enemies. The worldhas been converted back to medieval-like times by plagues in the future. All humans are mutants, and none don't have something special about them. Crow is powerful because of this. But Raven is a vampire, never human in the first place. Raven bonds them both by blood, and Crow wants to break free of the bonds. She still hates him. But things happen, adventures come, and she has to save the world, putting aside her hate for what he feels towards her.
Solitudes--Meet Carol. She's depressed, and unwillingly still mourning how her father left her family. She lives in a poor family, her mother being the only other family member. When her mother finally gets a job, it's taking care of someone's son for a long amount of time. They have to live in the same house. The kid turns out to be a very mysterious teenager. Carol is suspicious of Vincent, not trusting because of her nature. What happens when Vincent, also the kind not to trust, causes "opposites attract" to come up? Oops.
The Dwindling Sunlight--Shen is your normal teenage tomboy in Medieval-like times. Except the fact that she's a Vampire Slayer. Hiy loves her, though she doesn't know it. When he's about to propose, she disappears. Turns out she has to leave to go Vampire Hunting. When he finds out whats he is, he goes after her. And she's attracted the desires of her new prey, a very powerful vampire named Gabriel. Can she escape him, and keep the untrained Hiy out of trouble, and slay the new vampire?
Night's Dawn--NS is a normal lovestruck teenager. He moves to South Carolina and meets a girl who he immediately falls in love with. She's in a cult, so he decides to join. They are paired as a couple for one month. Then, when they're both attacked, he discovers that they both have powers unimginable. And monsters are real.
Lost and Found--The Lost Ones have been around for twenty years, popping up out of seemingly nowhere. All of them commit suicide on their 30th birthday. All of them are extremely reclusive. None are found when they're older than twelve, and then none have been Lost for more than a few days. They can't remember anything at all since they were Lost at twelve years, and none have found their family. Eleniah Dayleah is a Lost One, fourteen years old, a Lost One for two years. When she goes out to find her real life, where she belongs, can Find herself? Or will she be Lost forever, killing herself at 30?
Freedom Beyond Reach--Amah is a normal teenager. Except she's an abused and beaten slave of a vampire named Kahta. She keeps a journal about what happens. Close calls happen when her master almost finds out she writes in a journal; escapes are foiled. Can Amah finally find the will to try to escape again, this time with other people who actually care about HER?
Diabolus Liber--Nephilim are the offspring of fallen angels and human women. What happens when demons and human women mate? Me. Yeah, you got it. But I'm different from the others. There's something about all of this that creeps me out. But that's not very surprising. My life is bad for a 15-year old. This is MY life, fulfilling prophecies, fighting angels and demons, finding my mother. Oh, yeah.
Unnamed--I need help with the name. PLEASE HELP WITH THE NAME. Summary: Ashton is a typical Native American in a public High School. She's got the looks, she's got the attitude, but she thinks men are perverted wads of hormones. When they most popular and richest guy wants HER of all people, she'll do anything to get him off her back. But the jocks, and, unfortunately she later finds out her brother, all have bets. Some say that Kyle can make Ash for him in six months. Some say he can't. But he sure as heck is determined. Oops.
WANTED--Ave and Onjhu. They're the leaders of the Aneon Gang. But their gang plays by the rules. They're all in deep with the cops, but they don't break the law for the fun of it like the Rider Gang. They're not bad to the bone. The Riders, on the other hand, are bad cookies. And they'll take the Aneons' turf by force because they want to. Now, the two Aneon leaders find themselves in bad situations because of this. Oh, yeah, did I mention that the two are vampires?
A Combination of Fate--Flame, your typical teenager. But with bad dreams and mysterious murders around her house, and her two best friends staying at her house for a week, things go nutso. For one, she gets fangs. Two, she goes totally vampire. What happens to this reincarnate?
Mind and Spirits--The first chapter is totally true. Happened to me, nothing changed in it. Rest: fiction. When strange things start happening to a girl with an uncommon psyche, everything goes haywire. Ghosts try to take over her and her "friends". She finds out she has a very weird destiny. Very weird indeed.
Unnamed--In the far future, no humans survive. Organic materials are extinct. No animals. No humans. No birds, fish, mammals, reptiles, or even insects. Only trees, shrubs, and bushes. Those, though, are dying out as we speak. Only androids. In the year 2975, scientists made the first android. They made more. And more. Finally the androis began their own evolution. They killed the humans and took over the world. Their cities are just like ours, everything is, only more advanced. But when they try to speed up their evolution, the prototype does not like being in a cage. Angel. That is her nickname; she hates being called a number. She's known to all as Fallen Angel, the one who tried to escape and ended up killing another android on the way. Caught again and branded, she was aboutt o be deactivated, but finally manages to break her bonds and use the powers given to her by the tests. Unlike others, she has wings. But she's an outcast, and on the run from the android government. Can she survive?
Unnamed--Life is life, no matter where it is. In the mind, in front of the eyes, anywhere. If you create life inside your imagination, it's still real, even if it is in a different sense of the word. Nothing is "impossible" or "unrealistic." This is proof. People all over the world create their own friends, the perfect friends, inside their minds, but what happens when they abandon them as they grow older? What happens to these programmed lives? They live on unless they lose the will and fade away. But where do they go? Do they meet any of their own kind? Of course. They live with each other, rely on one another for support. Their creators, the people they loved, have all abandoned them and left them, thinking they were not real and were childish. Those that had believed in them grew up and left them in the cold, like a small child grows and believes there is no Santa Claus. This is the story of just a few of them. ((Sounds like Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends? Dunno. Never seen it. Completely original idea, though, not a take-off.))
Unnamed--The past is a mystery, an elaborate puzzle we are not even close to having pieced together. The Neanderthals, the Cro-Magnons, the Egyptians and Indians. But the past and the future now collide. The Cro-Magnons, having always been more advanced than others, have actually used their power against the Neanderthals and forced them into hiding. That's why we think the Neanderthals disappeared into Cro-Magnon society. But finally they came back out and evolved into us...after the Cro-Magnons have mysteriously disappeared. What happened to the mysterious, advanced civilation that seems to have kick-started human technological evolution? They were transported...to the future. And now they're even more advanced than we are. What happens when an archeologist who has found this out and is shunned for his preposterous theories meets the cruel people face-to-face?
There are many more, some already started as stories, but I won't waste fictionpress's servers at the moment, and my time. I'll perhaps update this later.
Special thanks to:
I'm glad you three like more than one of my stories.