Author has written 32 stories for Life, Friendship, Fantasy, Family, Song, Spiritual, Young Adult, Love, and Mystery.
Ok well, I've done this profile a lot throughout the past few years but now I think I can do this the way I want it.
I live in Australia with my mother, sister(who is 4 years older than me) and cousin(10 years younger than me) who we have legal custody of because of my Aunt's mental health problems(She's been with us since she was four days old anyway, so She's my sister as far as I'm concerned). My father and my Mum have been apart completely since I was about 9 years old. They were never married and kept getting back together despite the amount of times my "dad" cheated on my mum. I have two half-brothers that Ive never met who are both from the same woman, one who is about 25 and the other who is about 5. Those are the only two that we know of but knowing my father, there are probably heaps more. Now, the hard part. When I was 10 my cousin was born, who we now have legal custody of. About 3 or 4 months after her birth, my grandma who we had lived with since I was 5 and who was a very well respected doctor in our community, had a heart attack, leading to her having a quadruple bypass where she then had a shower of strokes. She got extremely sick and we all thought she would die. For a 10 year old girl, this was extremely difficult. My grandma had been my stand-in dad and had been either living with us or around the corner, for my entire life. So with my grandma sick and a new baby and my mother always being at my grandma's bedside at the hospital, everything was really hard. Not to mention, my sister had this massive group of friends she was always with and could talk to, whilst I had one friend who had family issues of her own. My sister also had a new boyfriend who she was always talking to, and whenever I tried to talk to her she would treat me like I was dog crap on the bottom of her shoe. Anyway, eventually everything kinda cleared up and my grandma moved into a nursing home because we couldn't care for her. That almost killed us all because my grandma had always told us if she ever needed to go to a nursing home, we should just shoot her instead. I think that was the most depressed I have ever seen my mum. After that, everything became a new kind of normal and our lives became "regular". Except things just kept on sucking for me. According to my family, I'm just a morose emo but it's not that simple. I write poetry because talking about my pain hurts more than writing about it. I have this weird fear that If I ever talked to a councellor they'd think I was insane and lock me up. I hate councellors. Sometimes, It's hard to breathe the pain is so bad, and sometimes I can go months without feeling like I cant breathe. Writing helps me breathe freely when I do get in a really bad state, so when I get negative feedback I dont care because I write for me.
So...For everyone who's read this, thanks. For anyone who's enjoyed this (why would you?), thanks heaps. And for anyone who just wants a shout out, HI!
8/10/08- I just went through all of my stories and poems and deleted a few of the crappier ones. However, I would like to thank any of you who have reviewed or even read them. As I've explained (MANY MANY TIMES, lol, you're probably sick of hearing it but I'll do it anyway), I write my poems for me. Sometimes, life gets so full on and hard to deal with that you need an outlet. Sometimes It's hard to breathe, your heart hurts so badly. Sometimes you cant bring yourself to get up in the morning because the thought of what will face you is so bleak you just cant face it. Sometimes you just cant find the courage to look your family in the eye because you're so terrified of what they'll see and what they'll do when they see what you are and what you've tried so hard to hide. Sometimes, it's all just to hard and too much to face and you want to fall down and scream and cry and allow yourself to break down. So that's why I write. In the throes of terror because what if you allow yourself to break? What happens if people do see? What if they uncover your secrets? What happens if everything comes to light and you wind up the insane little girl who "Is such a morose emo"? What if everything you've worked so hard to hide finally is discovered and you have to suffer the consequences?
Anyway, I'm really really sorry for the rambled explanation but I needed people to realise. I also wanted to thank them all for every review, every almost review but couldnt be bothered, for every kind thought, every "hmmm, I really like that one", every smile, every tear from my "angst riddled" works and any emotion at all you've ever felt towards me or my work. I do write erratically but when I do, I have to get every word down in fear I'll forget it. Writing is pretty much the only thing that really means anything to me so I'd like to thank everyone here who has read and/or supported it. If I didn't have this site, I don't think I would have survived as long as I have. So, Thank You all so much, all of this has meant more to me than I can ever express.
27/10/08- I just want to say to everyone who has reviewed my stories recently. Always and Never was an extremely impromptue sort of occurence and I want to thank everyone who thought it was good and I want to thank everyone who reviewed even more because they're my yummy buddies and I shall love them forever. Lol. Thank you ALL, and I must say, anyone who wants to be my yummy buddy for life can just give me a review and They will be in my love you forever book(I'm insane, you've gotta love me). Anyway yeah, Much Luv to all!
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