Author has written 17 stories for General, Song, Life, and Friendship.
I'm creative. The only things I love more than writing are God, acting, and working with kids. (Usually in that order, although the last 2 sometimes switch places. lol) My friends and I are basically morons. Examples...
"One of these days, a couple thousand years from now, somebody's gonna find that picture and think it's, like, hyroglyphic porn or something." - Me
"There's a difference between Sluts and Whores. Whores get paid." - Me
"Awww...that makes me feel lonely...I need food."- Me
"Yeah...but God is experiencing creation, the present, and judgement all right now...and the civil war!" - Me
"We're dancing. We left room for Jesus...and a couple of the disciples...and maybe Mary." - Me
"Blessings shouldn't wear disguises. It pisses people off." - Me
"I have, like, an abnormally large Adams Apple, so when I laugh it strangles me." - Me
(Talking about the song "When You're Worried and You Can't Sleep") "Have you ever seen a person with a curly HEAD? I mean, these poor deformed children, and he's singing about COUNTING them! How sadistic can you be?" - Me
(Talking about singing that ^ song to my kids as a lullabye) "I'll just tell them, 'Now, when you see children with curly heads, you mustn't count them." - Me
"Ah! There's a bear in the bathroom!" - Matt
"When I turn into naked man I have no control over what I say...or do."- Matt
"Aaron...I can't...let myself...get down..." - Matt
"Yeah...but...That couldn't have been Jesus, because it was before he was born..." - Matt
"I could get a bunch of hyenas to kill my brother!" - Matt
"How about B-E-A-R-E?" - Brian
(Explaining to his girlfriend why he has another girl's phone number) "In case I'm ever in WA and need somebody to hook up with." - Brian
"That's where Alli and I go when we...stargaze." - Brian
"We could sleep together." -Alli
"Let's go to bed." - Alli
"Not stupid in a bad way. Just stupid in a stupid way." - Banine
Brian - Imagine sex before the fall.
Me - I can't even imagine sex AFTER the fall, I think I'll start with that.
Matt - Why didn't God like the Babalonians?
Me - I don't know, why?
Matt - Because all they did was babble on and on and on...
Me - They were like women!
Matt - Because, ya' know, the whole Bible took place in Italy. That's why the Pope is still there. When the temple was destroyed they just built a big cathedral.
Me- And they called it the Vatican!
More to come*