wizkid08
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Joined 11-21-05, id: 502391, Profile Updated: 12-22-08
Author has written 11 stories for Romance, Life, Love, Mythology, Historical, and Humor.

My name is Liz.

I am twenty-three.

...I am an old, old woman. I cannot believe it is almost 2009. I feel like I blinked through the past 10 years.

I am studying nursing.

I used to be a tomboy.

My favorite cookies are peanut butter cookies.

I cannot stand bags with name brands on them. (Chanel, no!)

I love romance novels.

I am frequently in lust with about twenty boys a day, and I do mean that number.

I am notoriously shy around boys who are cute.

But I have also been known to fuck up conversations with Uh-goes.

I guess it depends if I have been drinking.

My best friend is a thirty-year-old male who likes irreverence much more than I do.

I have not updated any of my stories on here for a long, long time. If you would like to give me a kick in the ass to get me moving, you can reach me here:

http://www.myspace.com/liztheelephant

I like writing poetry.

I like blueberry pie.

Not to eat, but to look at.

I think it is pretty.

I have a twin sister.

She is a nun.

She also lives in Constant Fear for my Immortal Soul because we argue a lot.

I like going out more than staying in.

But I like being alone more than being with people.

All people are fuckheads.

It is you who counts. If you want the man, I say, take him!

I wish we were not all so hung up on sex. (sigh)

It is a natural need.

Teach your kids early and maybe the world will be a less constricting place for them.

I do not believe in miracles.

Not unless or not until dragons from fairy-land come swooping down with magical restorative crystals in their talons.

...Or some other suitably ridiculous equivalent.

I believe in accidents; situations are circumstantial.

I believe that Whitney will get it together someday and take back the Diva Crown.

As for fashion, I own about twenty-six thousand pairs of boots.

And they are well-loved, because I wear them all.

Though obviously not simultaneously; that would be uncomfortable and look awkward.

I have reddish blondish brownish hair that I wish was natural, but my Scottish genes seemed to have died out. It does, however, go down to my waist and sways poetically in the breeze like a flame of fire...

I want to marry a red-headed man so cool hair will be reintroduced into the bloodline.

I have to be clinical about this because a red crotch on a male is pretty disgusting.

Barring George Weasley, I will settle for Orlando Bloom, because even though he is not a fictional character (nor does he have red hair) let us be honest and say "he might as well be."

To finish up, I used to think that I would not mind it if some fabulously-hot guy took me home one night, made sweet love to me, said he would love me forever, and then asked if we could get married and make a baby together. I have since realized that life is not like romance novels, no it isn't. What is romantic in books does not quite add up in real life.

When I say "add up," I mean some guys are crazy. Stay Away From Them.

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So Much to Learn by Jessie L. Star - AKA star123 reviews
Complete After a rather hideous break up with her boyfriend due to her inability to 'put out', Talia bullies her brother's best friend into teaching her the complexities of a 'full' relationship. Turns out uni courses have nothing on life lessons! **Removed and now available on Amazon and Smashwords!**
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 10,024 - Reviews: 2996 - Favs: 3,694 - Follows: 581 - Updated: 2/23 - Published: 8/5/2005 - Complete
Covet by BKGal-24 reviews
He should not have been there, but he was. He should have looked away, but he did not. He should not have had her...but he did. A re-telling of King David and Bathsheba. Retired now and available as an ebook.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 16,405 - Reviews: 713 - Favs: 595 - Follows: 264 - Updated: 9/9/2012 - Published: 5/27/2006 - Complete
Off the Page by JD Allen reviews
Casey's found her perfect man: the hero of her popular novels, who she created to be her match. When her love becomes an obsession, she does everything in her power to make him exist and, soon, he does. But can she keep a creation in reality? REMOVED
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 4,320 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 6/3/2009 - Published: 4/30/2007 - Complete
Sebastian Bear Invisible Pervert by hi-tanner85 reviews
g'night psycho, I thought to myself. There was a split second where I wondered who I was talking to, the invisible boy spooning me from behind...or me..the girl who somehow managed to summon him back from the darkest corners of dream world.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 178,916 - Reviews: 1347 - Favs: 1,945 - Follows: 494 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 2/26/2007 - Complete
W is for WHAT? by Lulai reviews
Marla needs no one. But when she rescues someone who needs her, will she have the strength to fight for not only his sanity, but his very soul? twenty and done!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 20 - Words: 101,781 - Reviews: 764 - Favs: 922 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 6/21/2007 - Published: 6/16/2006 - Complete
Reason and Romance Redux by Myrika reviews
A drunken one night stand with Alex Montgomery is a complication Adrian Blake doesn't need, especially not when he's her new stepbrother. //REMOVED//
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 4,795 - Reviews: 4277 - Favs: 1,774 - Follows: 410 - Updated: 4/13/2007 - Published: 1/13/2007 - Complete
Chemicals to Blind by Twisted By Design reviews
Colby is 17, cynical, and gay. After moving, he meets a girl who teaches him the meaning of friendship. Through her, he becomes comfortable with who he is and what he is, and finds himself doing something he never considered possible: falling in love.
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 50,137 - Reviews: 330 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 193 - Updated: 1/24/2007 - Published: 12/15/2005
Confessions of a 'That Girl' by adio kalinihta reviews
Annie Durham is inexpressibly, irreverently, and irreparably a ‘that girl’. Massive rewrite of Your Daily Catastrophes.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,218 - Reviews: 381 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 1/18/2007 - Published: 8/22/2006
intravenous by she wants revenge reviews
the truth is, baby
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 124 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/18/2006
The Other Side of the Mirror by Never Knows Best reviews
A girl who has been betrayed by everyone she's ever known; a boy who has lost everything he's ever loved; their first meeting is through a traumatizing kidnapping experience, but can these two strangers find hope in each other?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 83,903 - Reviews: 860 - Favs: 458 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 1/5/2005 - Published: 2/20/2003 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Boots reviews
A poem for the fashion-minded young person.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 643 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/28/2008 - Complete
Little Duke reviews
Amelia is a Ransom. Cool, calm, collected. A hellraiser. She's the eldest daughter of the Duke of London and the apple of her papa's eye to boot. Follow in her misadventures as she learns about life and love and above all, how to be a girl.
Fiction: Historical - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,908 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/26/2007 - Published: 9/21/2007
Girl from the House of Irvine reviews
Previously on hold, but should be getting back up. This is the prequel series to my oneshot loosely based on Greek Mythology, 'My name is, Bird.'
Fiction: Mythology - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 39,481 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/30/2007 - Published: 1/30/2007
Memory Lapse reviews
Abandoned. Emily dislikes many things: insincerity, rude people, ignorance, loneliness, quiche, calculus, having big boobs, having low selfesteem, and among others, being the ‘new kid’ at school.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 25,670 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/5/2006 - Published: 12/5/2005
Tease reviews
A reviewer got me interested in writing the other reaction; the boy's side to the story...so here: companion piece to 'Virgin.' I've included 'Virgin,' here as well, so if you wanted, you wouldn't have to actually click on that particular link to read it
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 330 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/6/2006
Virgin reviews
I got hit with some inspiration.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 136 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 10/5/2006
My name is, Bird reviews
One-shot. Girl gets transported back to Trojan War. Girl gets captured by Achilles. Girl becomes mad, and, in defensive reaction, sarcastic and stuffy. Girl wants out, pronto.
Fiction: Mythology - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,707 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/5/2006
The Under Thumb reviews
Emotional Abuse (but we like the drama).
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 361 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/17/2006
What Happens When You're Honest reviews
This is my favorite, actually...that I've written. It's helped me, that's all I can say and still sound coherent.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 586 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/25/2006
Stay the Night reviews
A couple different themes (Sick-in-love-with-him-ailment. Can't-leave-him-though-it's-a-bit-obvious-I-should-ailment.). I hope you like it; I'm working on putting some music to it, but the muse has taken a short nap.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 659 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/18/2006
Dreaming Away the NeverDay reviews
This should be my theme song; if I wanted an angst-y theme song, that is...I would rather have Lauper's song...that song rocks.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 477 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2/8/2006