Kohlomere
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Poll: What do y'all want to see updated first? Vote Now!
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Joined 12-09-05, id: 504705, Profile Updated: 02-15-09
Author has written 22 stories for Humor, Mystery, Play, Essay, Historical, Horror, Humor, Romance, Fantasy, Life, and Biography.

Well, I'd say it's about time for me to update this old thing. As you might have surmised from my picture, I have a very odd sense of humor. But can you blame me? I mean really, Coach fanny packs? I'm only sad I didn't think to look up the price. So if you would care to scroll down the page to my list of works, trust me I appreciate every milli-second you spend on this blighted page, you will see many Romance stories but even more incomplete projects. I'm hip to the mass market (but really, would anybody pay for this tosh in the store?) you just tell me what you want to see updated and I will try to sit down and churn out a few chapters for your literary pleasure.

Please don't hesitate to comment on my style, grammar or general work, I like constructive feed-back. I try to return the favor.

A shout out to all my reviewers: Thank you!

I hope you enjoy my stories, I enjoy writing them.

Kohlomere

P.S. The third word out of my mouth when I learned to speak was "mines". I am a very territorial person, these stories are mine and I have no earthly intention to share.

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Making Him Believe by Tzotel431 reviews
MAJOR REWRITE When David needs a great favor, the use of Megan for a month pretending to be his girlfriend, he talks her into it. What happens when Megan really falls for him? Can she convince him it’s more than make believe? Or will she lose him forever?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 61,016 - Reviews: 1469 - Favs: 612 - Follows: 645 - Updated: 3/27/2013 - Published: 4/14/2008
The Ass in Assassination by Faedora reviews
She was sent to kill him. He was supposed to die upon their first meeting. Too bad he had inherited the cat's nine lives. Now he's blackmailing her and she finds herself falling for a guy who hates her guts. True love has never been so complicated.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 52,395 - Reviews: 378 - Favs: 242 - Follows: 333 - Updated: 6/13/2011 - Published: 7/19/2006
The Path of Least Resistance by PoppySeeds reviews
Sophie and David had nearly forgotten about each other until a twist of fate leads to a slew of emails, several bad dates, and the realization that even the ocean between them shouldn't keep them apart.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,192 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 12/6/2010 - Published: 4/20/2010 - Complete
Nobody Said It Was Easy by Secretive reviews
Sequal to QoaQR: Nobody said love was easy...then again no one mentioned the mind games, precocious kids, homicidal inventions, therapy, or as much stalking as is going on. I feel woefully misinformed...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 50,603 - Reviews: 1295 - Favs: 768 - Follows: 898 - Updated: 12/1/2010 - Published: 9/5/2006
Twenty five over by Eve Lindsey reviews
25kg stands between Cody and Mr Popularity. After a cruel prank, she changes her life and loses it, but is it too late for her to realise that beauty is only skin deep?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 126,027 - Reviews: 244 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 3/22/2010 - Published: 8/18/2006
Bet You Can't! by Ravina reviews
He leaned over just a little and, tilting his head slightly, placed a kiss on her jawbone. It was the most sensitive part of her face, and only he knew it. "You forget that I know everything about you," he reminded her. "Every single thing." COMP TO DTIA!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 51,788 - Reviews: 473 - Favs: 667 - Follows: 382 - Updated: 12/5/2009 - Published: 12/14/2008 - Complete
Just For A Thrill by chewyy the moofin reviews
COMPLETE. I flew, literally, down the stairs, landing somewhat gracefully onto the floor, sliding across the wood into the room and diving behind the sofa, putting my back flat against it. Ahh, the things you can do when you're scared for your life.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 109,371 - Reviews: 593 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 9/8/2009 - Published: 10/2/2008
Breaking Brian Deacon by SamanthaNicole reviews
REMOVED. Brian has been trying to win my heart since kindergarten, when he handed me a valentine with a worm inside. Too bad he doesn't understand the meaning of the word 'no.' 13 years later he's still trying, but I'm standing my ground. Or trying to.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11 - Reviews: 1839 - Favs: 843 - Follows: 784 - Updated: 6/3/2009 - Published: 5/2/2008 - Complete
They Call it a Cliché by angels and effects reviews
REMOVED. So he's my twin brother's best friend. The supposedly hot one who gets the girls while I hang out with the loud mouthed, all round idolized jocks of the school. Then he kisses me one night... wait, WHAT?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 2,334 - Reviews: 4208 - Favs: 2,143 - Follows: 1,025 - Updated: 6/3/2009 - Published: 8/30/2006 - Complete
Devil Take It All by Ravina reviews
COMPLETE! When Nessa White is told she only has a few weeks left to live, she panics and gives up her virginity to a guy she meets at a club. What happens when the two meet again a few months later and Nessa is still very much alive?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 40,589 - Reviews: 308 - Favs: 606 - Follows: 187 - Updated: 5/26/2009 - Published: 6/11/2008 - Complete
Jonnie the Sequel by RedRogue55 reviews
Hey, me again... still trying to move on after my jolting tragedy, and surviving being handcuffed to the perv Trent when Talulah gets tired of our bickering. And acting school is fun, but how can you tell when the actors stop acting?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,814 - Reviews: 278 - Favs: 201 - Follows: 296 - Updated: 3/10/2009 - Published: 1/1/2009
Abide With Me by Myrika reviews
Sheltered by her family's wealth, Mia McKinley was happy. But when she discovers her grandmother might still be alive, her cocooned life is shattered. Now, with the help of two boys, she must find out what she really wants. //REMOVED//
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 4,318 - Reviews: 2343 - Favs: 416 - Follows: 220 - Updated: 3/8/2009 - Published: 7/14/2008 - Complete
Complications by Ravina reviews
No spark?" he asked, sounding curious. "Huh?" "When we did the whole hand-shaking thing...no spark?" "No...none." What an absolutely awkward conversation to have with a guy I had known for 10 minutes. "Well that clears things up then. We'll be friends."
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 22,477 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 222 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 12/12/2008 - Published: 12/7/2008 - Complete
K for Catcher: Rough Draft by T76G reviews
CURRENTLY UNDER REVISION. VERY ROUGH.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 53 - Words: 239,264 - Reviews: 1297 - Favs: 556 - Follows: 248 - Updated: 7/1/2008 - Published: 11/15/2005 - Complete
Of Disillusions by Great-Enchantress reviews
Love is the thorn that pierces the heart swiftly going in, and painful coming out. The story when a Persian Queen learns that her husband will take another wife.
Fiction: Historical - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 17,101 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 2/24/2008 - Published: 12/10/2006
All I Want for Christmas by Mad for Figs reviews
[ONE SHOT] I was the loser university student who still sat on Santa's lap at the mall. How was I supposed to know Santa was my age this year? After all, isn't St. Nick supposed to be an old, jolly fat man?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,455 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 405 - Follows: 21 - Published: 12/22/2007 - Complete
A, E, I, Hate, You by Blinded.by.Stars reviews
He has gorgeous eyes...accompanied by an ego twice the size of North America. And then I fall. Right into his lap. Literally. Could my situation get any worse?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6 - Reviews: 166 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 3/17/2007 - Published: 1/29/2007
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Snow White: The Complex Life reviews
So Eira Blanche didn't get her fairytale ending, her story is far from over. Dawn Haven also missed her happily ever after, but what does a reality television show have to do with anything? Please enjoy the companion novella to Princess of Priss
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 21,294 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/31/2008 - Published: 12/17/2006
How Do You Break a Pencil in Three? reviews
Back by popular demand! This is a love/hate relationship without any love. To him, I'm a bitch. To me, he's a momma's boy. Oh, it's on...
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,008 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/14/2008 - Published: 5/4/2008 - Complete
Psychotic, Blonde and Somewhat Hyperactive reviews
She's tall, blonde and will talk until her face turns blue, if you'll sit and listen. If only she could overcome her entirely irrational fear of guys and go on a date before she goes to college in the fall, she would totally live happily ever after, right
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,925 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/26/2008 - Published: 3/6/2007
Demon Lover reviews
Elutha grew up quietly in Missouri, dreaming of a life of adventure and romance. When an accident occurs, she is buried alive in a strange world. Escaping isn't much of an obstacle but a village watchman is more than a barrier.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 22 - Words: 20,389 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/1/2008 - Published: 11/8/2006
A Senior Year to Forget reviews
Animal abuse doesn't just hurt animals. Just remember: sheep have the right to say "NO!"
Fiction: Biography - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 285 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/30/2008 - Complete
Nobody Understands Me but My WereCat reviews
A joint writing with Marie de Corbeaunoir. What happens when Alfonso discovers that he is the proud owner of a cat egg? And what is with this screwed up prophecy foretelling the end of humankind, dwarvenkind, and brothels?
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,455 - Reviews: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/19/2008 - Published: 4/22/2007
Tragedy A La Carte reviews
In this economy, it's important to keep things in perspective. Comedies and dramas can be cooked up short order. Just let a beautiful girl, a jealous boy and a sage gentleman set a while in Ye Olde Southern Diner and let them take the theatrical cake.
Fiction: Play - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 890 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/4/2007 - Complete
A Heart that Does Not Beat reviews
A little more than a month until my father's anniversery remains. It helped me find my center, I hope it can do the same for you.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Drama/Spiritual - Chapters: 3 - Words: 479 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7/2/2007 - Complete
Court's Jewel reviews
What does the purge of a family of Renaissance designers have to do with an orphaned novice and a boy born into a class of her betters? When the novice is kidnapped, no one is certain of her return to the priory.
Fiction: Mystery - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 42,200 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 5 - Updated: 6/19/2007 - Published: 3/5/2006
Today reviews
Most girls become more graceful as they age...most girls. Well, whoever said Kohlomere was like most girls?
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 29 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 2/21/2007 - Complete
Robitussin Bus reviews
Marris is just a high school girl who happens to be just a little paranoid about all things male. Particularly all things Cory. All this said, what will she do when Cory offers an amorous invitation?
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,232 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/16/2007 - Complete
Step Momma reviews
Silent, sadistic or just the bane of Cinderella's existance, the stepmother of the said princess finally opens up to the press. As it turns out, the stories didn't do her justice...
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,193 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/8/2007 - Complete
Cannibal Christmas reviews
Stress is part of the holiday package. No matter what you celebrate or how, it's the family that counts. Anyone up for eggnog and some lady's fingers?
Fiction: Play - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 724 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 12/24/2006 - Complete
Etienne the Ever Miraculous reviews
When a man can scale the rungs of the social ladder with as much ease as he could fly, he's living in the thirteenth century. Where a teenager can overcome these odds is the French monastary of Saint Benoit.
Fiction: Historical - Rated: T - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 847 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12/19/2006 - Complete
Happily Ever After Divorce: Retail Royalty reviews
When happily ever after doesn't work out for this fairytale femme, she resorts to retail therapy providing it to others. The princess parts with the prince, but can she find peace in the popular department store?
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 55 - Words: 43,326 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/15/2006 - Published: 12/22/2005 - Complete
Dontcha reviews
When all the world is a stage and the men and women merely players, don't you hate it when they try to direct?
Fiction: Play - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,915 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/9/2006 - Complete
On Barney reviews
Lassie, Rin Tin Tin and Benji have acted, but none have directed. This is where the First Scotty makes his mark.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 404 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/9/2006 - Complete
Charm and Communism reviews
In Romania, during the regime of Nicolae Ceausescu, Ruxandra began a new life in the Carpathian Mountains. When a persistant beau sends her over the edge, will she be able to overcome all obstacles with her new love?
Fiction: Historical - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,551 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11/5/2006 - Complete
The Catastrophic Consequences of Cinderella reviews
Cinderella, dressed in white, brought about a social plight. What will be done to set things right?
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 990 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/7/2006 - Complete
The Dot reviews
Cowritten by Pouffy! Dots mean so much to the world, we see at least three dozen everyday, see how Pouffy feels about The Dot.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 209 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7/14/2006 - Complete
I Can't Comment reviews
The exchange of ideas is a wonderful thing, but what happens when criticism comes out in the exchange?
Fiction: Play - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 421 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6/16/2006 - Complete
The Hazards of Grief Counseling Picture Books reviews
Playground politics are no laughing matter. When the gracious ballerina gets into a tiff with the spoiled thug, things can only end in tears.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 736 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/10/2006 - Complete