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Joined 05-16-06, id: 524830, Profile Updated: 03-01-08
Author has written 18 stories for General, Young Adult, Humor, Humor, Essay, Action, Life, General, Historical, and Song.

My name is Caroline and I love to write. It's what I do. I'm not really good at anything else, so I'm kind of counting on this to carry me through life. Like that's ever going to happen. If the whole writing thing doesn't work out, you'll find me living in a cardboard box in my friend Vishal's basement. I speak almost entirely in sarcasm. Get used to it. If you're not a fan, then I'm not the writer for you to be reading. I'm incredibly independent minded. I have to do all things myself. I don't like being coddled. My writing tends to be satirical and wryly humorous short stories, because I'm not too patient and I think that humor is a lot more valuable than angst in world already so full of darkness and despair. I also really like reviews. Since writing is basically my life, reviews are what sustain me. Especially the helpful, critical kind. That's it basically. Aren't I interesting?


Okay, so anyone who was a fan of "When Life Gives You Lemons" I have lent out Haley to my good friend and amazing humorist Liz for us in her extremely funny web comic "Hell on Earth." I will also be doing some guest strips so be sure to check it out at


Wow, been a while... I've started a new novel called "Destinations". I feel like it has a bit more depth to it than my last one, so I hope the rest of you think the same. If you haven't read my other book, don't worry about. This one has absolutely nothing to do with it. If you like it, tell me. If you hate it, tell me that too so I don't have to waste my time on it.

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Sounds of the High School Hallway by Sasami Kowa reviews
This is what you might hear if you walk down a high school hallway
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 2,656 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/6/2009 - Published: 6/9/2005
Missourian Youth: A Quote Collection by Rinderwahn reviews
CH. 30 up! Quotes said by my friends and family that'll inspire generations to come! ...Or not! R&R.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 24,424 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/22/2006 - Published: 7/19/2003
You Make Me Emo ! by Sneer reviews
Damn it Teacher, you make me emo!
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 711 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 10/2/2006 - Published: 8/25/2006
Pretty Boys and Pretty Girls by poet tree reviews
I'm in love with my lesbian friend. I'm entranced by a (male) freak in lipstick and fishnets. Oh yeah, and I'm failing Algebra. High school is definitely a test. (slash)
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 27,232 - Reviews: 306 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/7/2006 - Published: 3/10/2006
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Reflections reviews
Darkly humorous story about a Schizophrenic drug addict who talks to himself in the mirror. Please R&R
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 923 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Complete
The Street Where I Live reviews
Semi-autobiographical story I wrote when my parents were getting divorced. Please R&R!
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 849 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Complete
Destinations reviews
Christopher Todd is not your average learner. School's just not his thing in general. So what's he doing living in Boston, the mecca of academics?
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,922 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/19/2008 - Published: 2/29/2008
For Joe reviews
Song about coping with my cousin's death. Lyrics by me, music by my sister. Hopefully not too emo...
Poetry: Song - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 370 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/9/2008 - Complete
Dead Advice reviews
Gabriel Conroy of James Joyce's "The Dead" is drowning his sorrows in whiskey after his wife has left him. That's when William Blake and his gang of undead Romantic Poets decide to give Gabriel a hand... London, 1915.
Fiction: Historical - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,714 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/4/2008 - Complete
Shouting reviews
Don't you hate it when people take you for granted? When you work really hard on something, but they end up putting your sister's name on it... and spelling HER name wrong? Semiinspired by Tears for Fears song Shout
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 144 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/6/2007 - Complete
The Sermon on the Mount
Ah, the good ol' days when any old bloke could stand on a mound of dirt, talk nonsense and then create fish out of air... What really went down at the Sermon on the Mount. Well, not really, but it is a good story. Complete and utter nonsense.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 514 - Published: 2/11/2007 - Complete
The Monkey and the Killer reviews
This a poem I wrote a few years back that I'm rather fond of. It was an assignment for English where we had to use a bunch of random words in a poem. It's complete and utter nonsense, but I hardly think that matters. Enjoy!
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 404 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 1/27/2007 - Complete
The Physician's Guild reviews
In a place similar to Medieval Europe a group of unlikely companions bands together to stop the evil Physician's Guild from taking over the country with their newly invented addictive medicine Multiperspective by me and my best friend Hillary
Fiction: Action - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,115 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 1/23/2007 - Published: 1/18/2007
The Discovering Year reviews
I couldn't part with my beloved characters from When Life Gives You Lemons so here's another story, this time featuring Peter and takes place when they're all at college in Massachusetts.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,856 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 1/23/2007 - Published: 1/13/2007
Metallica for Babies reviews
An essay I wrote in response to an Article in the NY Times Arts and Leisure Section. About music and it's connection with people, especially between parents and children.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 687 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/1/2006 - Complete
Under the Emo Tree reviews
Some freewriting ramblings of mine. I thought it was good. Read it. Or don't. Whatever floats your boat. Hey, that rhymed, sort of...
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,344 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/8/2006 - Published: 10/20/2006
Exquisite Corpses! reviews
A collection of Exquisite Corpses by the Mahonian class of summer '06 of which I am a member. Complete and utter nonsense.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 788 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 10/31/2006 - Published: 10/25/2006
The Cannon Man
Ephraim Miller and his family go to see a show at the circus. Both the show, and what he sees after it change his life forever.
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 518 - Published: 7/30/2006 - Complete
My Cousin's Wedding
A monologuestream of consciousness piece. A girl's thoughts as she sits in a bathroom stall at her cousin's wedding.
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 688 - Published: 7/30/2006 - Complete
Saint Peter's Final Exam reviews
When Angelo D'Amato dies in his home in New Jersey, he finds out that getting to heaven is no where near as easy as he thought. A Parody of the Judgement Process, if you will. Enjoy!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,672 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/14/2006 - Complete
Being Sixteen reviews
So much is expected of the age sixteen. So much hope riding on a simple number. But why? Given the chance to write an article for her school paper, Mattie Buchanan is determined to find out for herself.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,115 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5/19/2006 - Complete
the Witch of Wyvern Tower reviews
Bran is eight years old when he first meets 'the witch.' Surprisingly, shw is nothing like what he had expected. But how can he save her from the prejudices' of the other villagers if he is unable to speak?
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,241 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/19/2006 - Complete