Herineca
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 05-29-06, id: 526427
Author has written 5 stories for Fantasy, Humor, and General.

a quiz about me.

Whats your name?
Herineca

Age?
I dont tell people with ugly pants. YOU HAVE UGLY PANTS!

Eye colour?
why would you want to know this? anyway, my eyes change with the weather. Blue for sunny days, and green for cloudy.

Favourite TV show?
Naruto, Inuyasha, FullMetal Alchemist, avatar: The Last Air Bender and Wolf's Rain

Your superhero name?
The Incredible Surfer

Your room colour(s)?
purple/blue

Favourite animal?
Tiger or wolf. still havent decided.

Any special talents?
I can make one eye go a different way to the other, I have a double jointed toe, can make a popping noise with my mouth, and just perfected popping to the tune of 'Happy Birthday'

What is the first thing you would say if you were the first person on the moon?
Contrary to popular belief, the moon is not made of cheese.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

¸.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´~pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer. --My mum has breast cancer and has finished Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy. She has to take a tablet everyday for the next five years.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Fav quotes:

'guess whos bak?' 'Santa?' "omg where is he?'
--he start of a convo between quwira and me over msn

"Behold! the gender confused palm tree in a skirt!"
--Me talking about Envy, FMA

"Happy happy joy joy!"
--me singing the happy hapy joy joy song.

"Hug Patrol!GO!"
--Me and Quwira. go hug patrol! check her profile to read about when we went to Inuyasha. actually, check her fav authors and go to 'Hug Bot'. its been moved. or my fav authors. w/e

"Michelle, whats something random i've said?"
--me asking about random things i've said to put on here.

"I would hate to wake up and have this staring at me" (touches the Tiger toy)
"RAWR!" (Tiger Toy and eyes light up
"HIDE ME!!! -hides behind Elf-" Me at Cunninghams

"you can bet your sweet Bippy!...Oops. too loud."
--me in art class. half the class stared at me.

"Jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way! oh what fun it is to ride im gonna make you burn in hell."
--Me and quwira singing Gaara's version of Jingle bells that I read in 'a very Gaara christmas' by The Handsom Blue Beast.

"I'm being bullied by yr 8s!"
--Annie, our year nine Tournament of Minds friend. Quwira, me, Angelthunder and Michelle bug her constantly. but shes cool... WAHH! SHE MOVED SCHOOLS!!!

"Algebra two: return of the 'X'"
--my old Math teacher when we started a new part Algebra or something. i dont know, but i got it right. YAY ME!

A radio play we had to do in English. i was the caller, while quwira was Lady Kay, the Psychic:

"...Ok taking calls. hello caller.
Yea, i had this dream where my dog, Tilly, locked me in a closet. what does it mean?
Hmmmm, it means you will be hit in the head with an apple in the next ten seconds.
What? thats the most stupidest, most idiotic, lames-OW!
What was that?
Tilly just threw and apple at my head."

"I've got a word for ya Benny,... Stringbeans! thats a word."
--a boy in my drama class when our teacher was talking to some one else and he decided to be funny.

"Ahh! you've got vision in your ass!"
--my cousin talking to me.

"AHH! you've got X-ray vision in your ass!"
--My cousin after i put a pillow over my butt and asked her if it was ok now. (long story)

"Why do you want me to wear skirts so much?"
--Angelthunnder when she was sleeping over. she was asleep.

"Il mouse non è felice!"
--Michelle while she was sleeping. It means 'the mouse is not happy!'

"We're going to see Jesus!"
--my cousin, Chibie, when he was on a plane. that was DESCENDING

"That boy's about as sharp as a pound of wet liver"
--Foghorn Leghorn

We've been through so much together, and most of it was your fault.
--Ashleigh Brilliant

Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story.
--Ashleigh Brilliant

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
--Ashleigh Brilliant

"If you cant learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly."
--Ashleigh Brilliant

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
--Jim Davis (not meant to offend anyone!!)

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow; Don't walk behind me, I may not lead; Walk beside me, and just be my friend.
--Albert Camus

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!
-- Milton Jones

My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.
- Chibiie Mason

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
-- Albert Einstein

Our meetings are held to discuss many problems which would never arise if we held fewer meetings
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

"Cuz thats what my dad does, Angelthunder, he has clients." (Quwira)
"Yeah well, my dad has students." (Angelthunder)
"My dad has fish!"(Me)

We have 3 realistic alternatives: (1) Sit here and get blown up, (2) Stand here and get blown up, (3) Jump up and down, shout at me for not being able to think of anything, then get blown up.
--Holly, "Body Swap" Red Dwarf

You wouldn't know a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord singing 'Subtle Plans Are Here Again'
--Lord Blackadder, 'Blackadder's Christmas Carol'

LISTER: The red, green, and blue alert signs are all flashing! What the smeg is happening?
KRYTEN: Well, either we're under attack, sir, or we're having a disco.
--Stoke me a Clipper Red dwarf

"Oh Smeg. What the smeggin' smeg's he smeggin' done?! "
--Lister, Red Dwarf

My little baby off to destroy people...
--Mushu

Dark Helmet: mask down Not so fast, Lone Starr.
Lone Starr: Helmet. So, at last we meet for the first time for the last time. thinks about what he said Yeah.
Dark Helmet: Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr.
Lone Starr: What?
Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former room-mate.
Lone Starr: What's that make us?
Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing.
--Spaceballs

Rock-a-bye baby on the tree top,
when the wind blows, the cradle will rock.
I was that baby, and what bothers me
is why Mum and Dad stuck me up a tree!

Mary had a little lamb -
the doctor was surprised.
When Old Macdonald had a farm,
the doctor nearly died!

Mary had a little lamb -
she also had a duck.
I bet you thought this rhyme was rude!
It’s not - you’re out of luck.
--website

"Screw you Angel" (me, joking)
"Screw you Herineca!" (angelthunder, joking)
"Guys, cut it out." (quwira.)
"Screw you quwira."(A)
"Yeah, screw you."(H)
"STOP SCREWING ME!!" (quwira...hehe)

"I sugest taking a pen. you might need it for very important things. Like writing your name or something rude on the bottom of bunk beds! --Me informing my sister about what to take to camp.

"...well, that broke my brain. hows yours doing?"
-- Me talking to Angelthunder when someone said something very complicated.

"If they went and jumped off a cliff, would you do that too?" (my dad
"Uh, no. that would be dangerous!" (me

"If God is our Father, is Jesus our brother?"
--Me during religion class.

"ok, heres what i think. You should have talked to one plant, completely ignored the other, and for the third, yelled at it and made a point of the plant you talk to being better than it."
--Me telling Angelthunder what i think she could have done for her science project.

"Why are smart people called egg-heads? EGGS AREN'T SMART!"
-- me talking to my sport teacher and Angelthunder.

"I didnt know Hitler spoke german!"
--Angelthunder's cousin.

"Go back to Doctor Suse!"
--my cousins taunting each other.

"Rini says you stink!" (me
"Rini says you're not a natural blonde. Rini also says I should dye my hair blue." (michelle
"I'm Rini and i dont say that!" (me.

"I lost a Bella!"
--Angelthunder when she realised she had lost the same amount of weight as her dog weighs.

"That is the most pathetic tail i have ever seen."
--Mum about Tilly's (our dog) tail.

"OH my GAWD! MUMMY! its JESUS! hes rising!"
--My sister, when she was about five. we were at the circus and the arialist dude was on strings and going up in the air. shows how much religion is crammed into us after easter.

"I already knew that. (Quwira
"knew what? ( me
"how?" (Angelthunder
"Mums talk. (Q
"talk about what?!" (me
"Didnt you know? (A
"No! NOBODY EVER TELLS ME ANYTHING!! (me

"lets call him a Smeg-head!"
--Me in a dream to my sister.

"In a dream I had the other night, Gaara killed you. so i kicked him in the shin"
--Me to my sister's friend.

"I had this one dream, where Gaara kept following me around school then the principal announded that she was sorry my family had all been killed by Gaara. i stood up, pointed at him and yelled 'YOU BASTERD!...then kicked him in the shin."
--me talking to Angelthunder about a dream i had once.

"dont make me come over there! i will kick ya in da shin!"
--me to my friend.

"oh, go eat your face."
--My cousin. still havent got a nickname for her. probably 'Legs'. BECAUSE HERS ARE LONGER THAN MINE AND THAT MAKES HER TALLER THAN ME!! TWO YEAR DIFFERENCE PEOPLE, TWO YEAR DIFFERENCE!

"muuu-uum! the bacon exploded!"
-- me when i was waiting for my bacon to cook.

"isnt it a depressing thought that the second we're born, we start dying?"
--Me to angelthunder when she came over to use the scanner

"Uno, does, tres, quatro, chinque, sei, sette, otto, nove, diechi- no,wait, thats Spanish and Italian. not the language I want!"
--Me when i was trying to count to ten in french. obviously, it turned out wrong.

"MR TERWELLS PREGNANT! no, wait a sec."
--a girl from the other class came in yelling it.

"Mrs Dooley! Mr Baker's making faces at me through the back window!"
--My sister when she was on camp.

"Yeah, I love me too."
--Quwira's brother.

"So many people are odd, therefore odd is normal. which means if your normal, then your odd."
--Me on the concept of being odd.

"yay?" (me
"yay." (to many times to say which friend it is
"YAY!!" (me

HOLY CRAP!!! ALERT THE EDITORS!!!
-- comment i saw on Youtube

"Now, you're all going to be comedians-" (drama teacher)
'Canadians?!" (boy in the class

"well, I'll have my people contact your people, and maybe we can stab at each other over tea."
--Shingen, Samuri Warriers.

"Let the power of Youth wash your socks!"
--flash movie i saw

"What happens in , stays in Las Vegas...until Monica comes along."
--Michelle

"SHIKA SAID BOOBY!"
--me when i was watching an episode of Naruto in Japanese, and i suddenly heard Shikamaru say 'booby' when he said booby trap.

"I told her she looked very becoming. She looked like she was ready to sock me in the mouth."
--my dad talking to my Nana about the time he told me I looked 'becoming'. I thought he was insulting me.

"hey Elf, you know that popping sound i make with my mouth? now i can do happy birthday! -goes on to pop happy birthday-"
--me to my sister.

"The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife...my mother!"
--a preist

"How ya goin mate?-shakes my Smoky's hand- got anymore or is this it? (doctor in the emergency room
"No! their not mine! I'm their cousin!"(Smoky, my 25 year old cousin, about me and Elf. I had to go to the emergency room to get my earing out

"Is this your dad?"
--a girl in my class when she saw a picture of my family, and pointed to Smoky.

"listen, I'm your dad! go get the ice cream!-shoves coupon in my face-"
--Smoky after we told him he had been mistaken for my dad once again.

Love (crossed out): Like (crossed out): Tolerant: Rin, Jaken; later on - Inuyasha?
-- profile of Sesshomaru I read

"Oh great. we're entrusting our lives to a mob of parrots."
--Frank Dunn, Galippoli movie.

"I was on top of the world. Until someone pushed me off."
--Elf.

"Nana? have you ever heard of a man called Jesus?" (Chibie
"Yes, I have, Chibi." (Nana
"Did you know he died, but then came back? but they didnt put him in the ground. they put him in a...in a..." (Chibie
"A cave?" (nana
"Yes. and the angel rolled it away! and when his friend Mary came to see, but he was gone!"(Chibie after he came home from school one day. he says the story of Jesus is very sad, but very happy.

"I dont think we should be teaching the bible to kids that young. according to the bible, we're all inbreds. TWICE! Adam and Eve, then god killed everyone and it was just Noah's family. Noah, his wife, and their sons. and what about 'The Virgin Mary'? how are we meant to explain what virgin means to a six-year-old?!"
--Me after Nana told me about Chibie and his liking to religion. She found it quite interesting. P.S. I do believe in Jesus and God, I just felt I had to point these things out to my Nana.

"Why are all fathers whose kids are in our grade shaving off their mostaches?! MY DAD DIDNT EVEN TELL ME UNTIL I NOTICED IT!"
--Me when i saw so many Dads had shaved off their mostaches.

"Notice anything different?-points to lip-" (my dad, trying to make his friend noticed his mostache was gone.
"hmm...-rubs cheek- have you got a tooth ache?" (Jane.

"Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was black as charcoal. everytime it jumped a fence a flame went up its -insert the bad word here-."
--my dad.

"Alright, i've had a few drinks tonight and im a bit wobbly, but I can get your stiches out." (My uncle
"...Elf! come and make sure he doesnt do anything wrong!" (Dad. turns out, my uncle missed one

"Hows that, Elf? your sister just risked her life to get you a flower."
--Dad after i had reached out over the water from a house boat. we were on a river that had crocs in it.

"I'm making Naruto pants."
--Me when my friend asked what I was making in Textiles.

"hey, in religion, we're told that Jesus and God are inside us, right?"(Me
"yeah."(angelthunder
"But doesnt that mean...OMFG I'M A MAN!"(Me

"OMG a sick person!...wait, I'm in a hospital"
--Elf when we went to see Mum in the hospital

"Ok, -points to me- You're the one with brains, and -points to Elf- you're the one who asks stupid questions"
--Guy I met while i was at the CanTeen add...thing...scratch that, they were making the canteen comercial and I was in it. (hellz yea!)

"are you nervous about the comercial?" (Boy i met
Yes." (me
"are you nervous about the camp after?" (Boy i met
"Yes." (me
"Are you nervous about crazy people like me coming up and talking to you?" (boy i met
"No." (Me
"oh good, you'll fit right in." ( met him at the Canteen comercial shoot.

"oh my god I'm emo!"
--the same guy who asked if i was nervous when he was talking to people about how he didnt own a light coloured shirt.

"Oh my god. is that a rhinoserus?"
--Boy at camp. In mono-tone and pointing out the window is very funny.

"Any one here?"(Boy. in a play, Me and another boy were ment to be hiding in a closet while the kid came in and robbed the place
"Go away. we're busy." (the second guy (this is confusing, isnt it?)

"Damn guys with their bad sneaking out skills. Scratch egging their dorm, lets egg them!"
--Me the morning after the boys woke us all up during the night.

"you know whats creepy? Zac kinda reminds me of Smoky." (Me
"How? Smoky doesnt go around hugging people and saying he loves them." (Elf
"He does when hes drunk." (Me

"What did you think of the camp's theme?" (Question on the review of camp
"We had a theme?"(my written reply

Some questions are hard to answer
Some questions take us by surprise
Some questions haunt us for years
Some questions make us laugh
Some questions challenge our values
...and our picture of who we are
--Website

"no no no no, please work, I love you."
-Quwira talking to Science equiptment

"please? I love you!"
--Quwira STILL talking to science equiptment

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"
--Gai on Naruto: Ultimate Ninja" PS2 game.

"Go you... woman!"
--Chibie

"i cant believe how horrible you were to this poor boy! you just jumped out at him from behind the tree, scaring him out of his wits! you horrible teenagers with your drugs and alchohol! well? what do you have to say for your self?" (Lady after she saw me playing ruff
"...Hes my cousin." (me. isnt Teenage stereotyping horrible?!

"oh great. the Easter bunny forgot it was easter, and Dad lost a cat. I have such faith in my parents."
--Me Easter morning.

"You're face!"
--Legs

"No way! If my family finds out about this, they will bury me alive, and dance on my grave, i am NOT exagurating! ok, i am a litte, but still!"
--Movie.

"Dont mess with me, I have a weapon."
--me after i finished making a big fan like Temari's (Naruto)

"He's pushing up dasies now." (guy in movie
"he is not pushing up dasies! he's dead!" (another guy in the movie

"Somebody threw a boy at me."
--Legs

"THE EASTER BUNNY IS A STALKER!"
--Legs

"It's worse than that, He's dead Jim,
dead Jim,
dead Jim,
It's worse than that, He's dead Jim,
dead Jim, dead." (Song at assembely
"THERE ARE RECEPTIONS IN HERE!"(me in my mind

"I love this song!-song ends-CRAP!"
--Me at the Oakbank Easter races

"Flaherty? meh. -phone rings- helerty?"
--Quwira's sister after reading one of the contacts on the phone.

"GREGS LOCKED IN THE DUNNY!"
--My Aunt

"Do you realise you're an idiot?"
--Legs to Chibie

"My glass is made in Russia."
--Me looking out the bottom of my glass.

"when in doubt, always look like you know what you're doing."
--Book

"Herinecaaa..."(Legs
"I'm worried now...dont like your voice.."(Me
"Elf told me that on rare occasions you let her dress you up in clothes she picks out."(Legs
"That is SUPER-RARE-ONCE-A-YEAR-MAYBE-TWICE-IF-SHES-LUCKY-TIMES!...so what a bout it?"(me
"we might be going shopping tomorrow." (Legs
"...shit."(Me

"If you dont want a girly one, go for the black ones."(lady at the stall
"nonono! Herineca doesnt want a girly one!" (Chibie"

Mr sand man! bring me a dream!"(Elf (singing)
"-crosses arms and does a death glare- no."(me copying Gaara's voice

"Sand goes up, sand goes down. sand goes up, sand goes down."
--Me in Angelthunder's dream, but i was Gaara. Quwira was Kankuro, and Angelthunder was Temari. Me and 'Kankuro' kept running around and hugging each other. imagine Kankuro and Gaara doing that!...yeah, broke my brain too.

"haha lol ooh it's all underliney!! and now its not. now it's straight. and now its unbold. behold the unboldness."
--HugBot's account. (joint account between me and Quwira)

"why are you so much like a mon?"(chibie
"a what?"(me
"a mon. you know, not girly."(Chibie
"you mean a man?"(Me
"Yeah. why are you so much like a man?"(Chibie

"Whats viagra?"(Chibie
"uh...its something...that...men...use."(Me
"Oh...whats it for?"(Chibie

"hahaha, ignore me."(Angelthunder on the phone after she had said something wrong
"ok.-Hangs up-"(Me

"hahahaha lol..."(angelthunder
"DID YOU JUST SAY LOL?!"(me

"Jeez, when i try to show the moron i DO still love him, hes never around!"
--Me. I have been trying to show my oldest cousin that i DO still love him.

"Nothing is impossible!"(Legs
"You've obviously never tried slaming a revolving door. "(Me

"I SHALL YOUTHFULLY CHECK MY EMAIL AND THEN READ IT!"(me over MSN
"check it already!" (Quwira
"IM YOUTHFULLY GOING! MY COMPUTER IS PAST ITS SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH!"(Me

"I'm gonna do the chicken dance -does dance-"
--Me at bowling with my cousins. it helped! i won!

"CARMON MAFLUGIMAJUB!"
--Michelle, in her sleep, yelling.

"hey! my pants are vibrating!"
--Quwira when her phone went off and it was in her pocket.

"I bet he feels manly."
--girl on soccer team when we played a team that had a guy on it (we were in under 13 girls)

"ow my balls."
--GIRL I know when she jumped onto my bike.

"What should they do now?"(Quwira asking me about what could happen in her story
"they get ice cream?"(Me
"They're in the middle of a forest."(Quwira
"Ice cream truck?"(Me
"NO!"(Quwira

"I used to make weapons when i was little."(Dad when he was helping me make a fan like Temari's
"How come you havent got them?"(Me
"John shot Paul with my crossbow and Grandpa made me burn them."(Dad. (Paul is the middle brother, and John is the youngest)

"Its like in the movies, if you step on a butterfly, you change the future of the human race."(Martha (Doctor Who, Season 3)
"I'll tell you what then dont...step on any butterflies. what have butterflies ever done to you? (Doctor Who,S3

"Ixney, political correctness gone mad"
--Doctor Who, S3

"Ow, I've only got one heart working. ohh, how do you people cope?!"
--Doctor Who, S3

"Expeliamus!"(Doctor Who
"Expeliamus!"(William Shakespear
"Good ol' J.K.!(Doctor, Who S3

"we're about to hear the greatest writer of all time speak."(Doctor who
"Shut your bloody mouths!"(William Shakespear
"Should never meet your heroes."(Martha

"Oh my god. if you copy all these quotes and paste them into a word document, it goes for 13 pages."
--Me after seeing how many pages these quotes would fill.

"You sober now?"
--Me after Quwira pretended to be drunk.

"Come on Pelemon!"(Michelle when she saw some pelicans
"Its a pelican."(Annie

"mm, duck food."
--Quwira

"Hey, the sky is green!"
--Me after putting my video camera effect to negative.

"Guys, no killing each other."
--Me

"Come on Kerri...Kelly... Kelly, thats it."
--Me trying to say my friend's name

"Have you ever seen a giant?"(Annie trying to prove there is no such things as giants.
"yes. he was playing basketball."(Me

"Have you ever seen a giant who was ten times taller than you?"(Annie STILL trying to prove there is no such things as giants
"Yes. i was little. he was playing basketball."(Me

"Have you ever seen a giant who doesnt play basketball?"(Annie, once again, trying to prove there is no such things as giants
"No, but next you'll be telling me theres no such thing as Unicorns."(Me

"The saying is 'The pen is mightier than the sword', but if i was going into war I'd take the sword."
--Me after reading the saying in a book.

"Dont make me nuter you, boy."
--Me...dont ask

"I have a strange urge to put on a seat belt"
--Me when I logged onto the computer once

"I'm such a headstrong asshole."
--Me while playing Naruto:Ultimate Ninja and playing the Neji saga...i had to be Neji to get further in the game.

"see? this is what happens when people let me have chocolate for breakfast."
--Me to my cousin on easter.

"He looks like he came from Greece."(Millie
"The country?"(Her Dad
"The musical. He looks like Kinicky."(Millie after seeing a guy on the street.

"I am sooooooooo going to hell."
--Me after saying a string of swear words.

"You know why unlimited downloads is so good?"(Gabby
"Its not limited?!"(Me when Gabby was exlmapining the concept of 'unlimited downloads' to my sister and i was helping.

(my MSN name read 'some wars last for years. some wars last for months. the war between Zanibar and England lasted for 38 minutes')
"it went like this:
england: nuh uh!
zanibar: yuh huh!
: if u cant agree then we're at war!
zanibar: fine!
(38 minutes later)
zanibar: oh shit! england was right! Mario IS better then Luigi!"
--Quwira over MSN

"You know what i noticed? if u take the first two letters of ur name, and the last three of ur dogs, it makes 'Kenji'"
--me to my friend. her dogs name is Benji.

"Cant you get Kate to drive you?"(Quwira after i said i couldnt get to Netball training.
"She’s working"(Me
"Smoky?"(Quwira
"he’s working and will probably go home drunk"(Me
"don’t u know any one else who can drive? What about your aunt Gail?" (Quwira
"Not really. She works nights at the hospital"(me
"Your uncle bob?"(Quwira
"Don’t know where he is"(Me
"wait, you have an uncle bob?"(Quwira
"yes I do"(me
"wow..."(quwira

"Herineca wants to say something to you."(Angelthunder over the phone after I heard her Dad was smoking
"I knew she wanted to talk to me all along."(Angelthunder's dad (we have a joke when ever I call)
"No Johnney no!"(Me (Copying the 'no Gary no' anti-smoking add)
"Oh god."(Angelthunder's Dad. he smokes Death Sticks.

"...Wheres your poster?"(Quwira
"On the other side of the door."(Me..
"I ask that everytime i come over, dont i?"(Quwira
"yep."(Me

"I might ask Robert if we can borrow his boat sometime."(Dad
"Whos Robert?"(Me
"Your uncle Bob."(Dad
"Since when was his name Robert?!"(Me
"...since he was born?"(Dad
"WHY WASNT I TOLD?!"(Me

"its a beautiful day" (dad when he recognised the song on the radio and said the title.
"No its not. its all cloudy!" (me

"...Sarcasem, Angelthunder. Sarcasem." (me
"The lowest form of wit." (Religion teacher
"-confused look-"( Me
A FEW WEEKS LATER (French announcer dude from spongebob
-at Angelthunder's house for a sleep over, dead silence, pitch black,-
"I think the religion teacher called me an idiot!" (Me

(when Quwira's sister and her friend were walking. they are both blonde)
"-sigh- blondes."(their friends walking behind them.
"-turns around- not all blondes are dumb, you know. -both walk into a pole-"(Quwira's sister and her friend

"...loading imature fart jokes...loading mature fart jokes...loading more imature fart jokes...lost data, restarting...wait wait! found it!"
--Loading screen for a flash movie (Duck Tale Z)

"No, im gonna let you sit next to your friends for this topic. its a little sensistive for some, and you might get giggly. we are going to be learning about...electricity. Nah! you know what we're learning."
--Science teacher when we started 'the reproductive system' subject.

"But plants dont reproduce like we do. our way is more fun...(10 seonds later)... which you dont do until you're married!"
--Science teacher

"Did you just diagnose the oatmeal? You cant just diagnose the oatmeal!"
--Dor Cox, 'Scrubs'

"I wonder what would happen if i was in a war, and i threw a tomato at the enemy. would it start a food fight?"
--Me while in the line up for the tuckshop.

"Dont make me tomato you."
--Me to Angelthunder after she insulted me.

"I dont see how hes the sexiest man alive." (Quwira disscussing the so called 'sexiest man'
"neither do I. Personally, I think I am"(Quwira's SISTER (NOTE: notice 'sister' is in capitals and bold.)

"That ones got a kangaroo loose in the top padock."
--Me using an Aussie expression (if ya know what it means, PM me and tell me! no one knows until i tell them)

"Contrary to popular belief, the moon is not made of cheese."
--Me when asked what I would say if i was the first person on the moon.

"I curse swedish fish on you!"
--Quwira to her pencil case.

(after Quwira took off her glasses and washed her face in a public bathroom)
" damn. theres no paper towels."(Quwira
"...Quwira...thats a tampon machine."(Me

"Please tell me thats not a body sticking out of the trunk."
--Joe Morelli, book. i call it the 'Stephanie Plum series' by Janet Evanovich, but i dont know the series' official name. rather old though.

"He doesnt need all that! you could spend the money on much better things...like me!"
--Legs to her mum when Chibie wanted to buy a chef's hat.

"What song will play at my funeral? Good Riddance by green day - AWWW NICE"
--Angelthunder when she took the quiz thing with the songs. (mines around the top)

"Whats up?"(angelthunder over MSN
"not much. alot of people are bored."(Me
"Whats that mean?"(Angelthunder
"...I dunno, all the people in my head?"(Me...I was tired

"That cloud looks like a fluffy bunny." (Aang, Avatar
"You better hope thats not a fluffy bunny cloud! The fluffy bunny cloud symbolizes death and destruction."(Some dude.

"This is God's house and God doesnt need people rolling around on the floor."
--Religion teacher

"Whats 69 mean?"(Me
"uhh..."(Angelthunder.
"on second thoughts, tell me when we're not in a church!" (Me...i finally found out what it means

"Jeez, you tryin to fatten me up or something?"
--Me when my Mum wouldnt stop giving me food

"Swearing. Its what Aussies do."
--Me when someone said I swear alot.

“Did you ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many people have pictures of you, how many moments of other people's lives we've been in. Were we part of someone's life when their dream came true, or were we there when their dreams died? Did we keep trying to get in, as if we were somehow destined to be there? Or did the shot take us by surprise? Just think, you could be a big part of someone else's life, and not even know it.”
--Lucas, One Tree Hill. (never actually watched it, i read this on someones profile and had a look at my photos. i was like '..whoa..')

"Jesus loves you! but everyone else thinks you're a wanker."
--Smoky's shirt.

"Quwira, watch out for that pole. Quwira, watch the road."(Jackie to Quwira.
"Oh, got to go Angel. I'm a trafic hazard."(Quwira on the phone to Angelthunder while crossing the road.

"wheres Angelthunder anyway?"(Me in a convo with Quwira
"No idea."(Quwira
"Maybe i should call her."(Me
-new convo box suddenly opens-
"Hey Herineca."(Angelthunder
"Speak of the devil."(Me

"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"
--Paul Merton

"you know whats ironic? we're always late for school, but when we leave for soccer, even if we're late leaving, WE'RE EARLY!"
--Me after coming back from soccer

"Hold on, I'll get my 44"( Me. i dont remember if i've added this, if i have...well, im a retard. everybody happy?
"You're what?"(Quwia
"My 44 magnum"(Me
"...huh?"(Quwira
"A very good gun."( Me. i dont actually have one, but if i did have a gun, i'd have a 44.

"To prevent spam please answer this question: What colour is a lemon? "
--Website.

"Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies."
--Email a different cousin sent me. kinda sexist, but i think its funny. NOT MEANT TO OFFEND!!!

"I have a cold. and my throat is so bad i sound like a duck. i have a duck cold."
--Me about my cold.

"ROFL. well, i would be if it werent for this STINKING DUCK COLD!"
--Me over MSN

"Wow. we've gone from a soccer club, to a drama club, to a choir."
--Me at soccer training. we practiced starting fights with other teams to practicing our club song...cheer...thing.

"Fear the Ninja Goalie and her...FORK!"
--me. im a goalie and, since everybody loves the 'She's the Man' movie, I am a ninja goalie. and for a long reason, Coach told us to bring a fork to the next game.

"Fine you can have a Tim Tam. but dont expect me to be sharing any more of my Tim Tams. i never share my Tim Tams."(Me to Angel
"mmm, Tim Tams."(Girl behind us. shes nice.
"MY TIM TAMS!"( Me. we were on the bus back from an excursion

"Whats wrong with the song?"(elf
"Either the computer is freezing, or Deidara is the new singer of Evanescence."(Me when my computer started mucking up and was playing 'going under' and repeatedly played the 'un' part of 'under'. so it was like 'un- un- un- un- un-'

SPECIAL NOTE FROM ME!!(...ok, two notes):

1) i cant spell. deal with it.
2) Angelthunder has recently changed her name from "Angelthunder' to 'CrimsonStoneKey' and since i have a cold, i see no reason to go back and change all the times i said Angelthunder or Angel. so from here on out, Angelthuner is 'CrimsonStoneKey' or 'Crim'...
yes, Crim. got a problem? -gets 44 Magnum...for the slow ones among us, its a very good gun- i didnt think so. : p

"I feel so profesional in these lab coats."(Quwira
"I know! i feel like such a science...person."(Me

"Yeaho!"(Chatter in science class
"well, if you good we migh- did you just say yeaho?!"(Science teacher

"Why were you on the floor?"(Elf's friend
"There were no chairs."(Me
"What about that one?"(Elf's Friend
"Thats broken. doesnt it look broken?"(Me
"I dunno. doesnt look that broken."(Elf's Friend
"I know because it told me."(Me
"You talked to it?"(Elf's Friend
"I talk to everything."(Me

"It wasnt my fault. i went to sit down and your face was there."
--Gabby when she hit my lip with her shoulder.

"I hate this whole dying thing, you and Sheryl had better not die."
--Smoky a few days before a funeral to his Mum.

"You know, if you didnt shave your hair off, you might not be mistaken for my dad."
--Me when i saw Smoky when he hadnt shaved his hair in a while

"I'm a bored teen having a bad day. so excuse me for not grinning like im insane when i say YOU LOOK BETTER WITH HAIR!"
--Me to my dearest cousin Smoky (whos going bald. at 25. how sad is that?)

"I lost soccer on friday, got thrashed at netball on saturday, lost soccer again and ran full-speed into the goals and nearly gave myself concussion on sunday, got a huge bruise on my leg, and i found out someone impersonated me and stole $20 bucks from Mrs J in the rest home, so now i gotta find out what the hell happened! AND Smoky called me a sookie! THIS WEEKEND SUCKS!"(Me
"Wow...im glad im not you."(Elf
"gee, thanks. that makes me feel a whole lot better."(Me after Elf asked if i was ok

"they are commonly refered too as basterds."
--girl in my class in a very professional tone. i tune into conversations at the worst times

"ugh, i gotta take this off. i'll get hot."(Quwira taking off her jacket
"you already are!"(Crim
"O.O;"(Quwira and me. Crim should learn to think before she talks. HEAR THAT CRIM : p

"Quwira's a meanie."(Crim
"No shes not! shes a very positive person."(Me
-turn to talk to Quwira-
"-singing in creepy voice- you're gonna die soon, you're gonna die soon..."(Quwira, singing 'you're gonna die soon' by Sara Silverman

"You cant learn to be real, its like learning to be a midgit!"
--movie, 'The Purple Rose of Cairo' or some weirdo title like that. i didnt really like it.

"I'm having a crisis. i cant choose between Gucci and Prada!"(Mr L's sister when she had to get glasses
"Honey, when can anyone choose between Gucci and Prada."(Mr L. hes my drama teacher

"gym gym gym gym gym!"(girl in Quwira's PE class telling her she had PE in the gym
"Who the hell is Jim?"(Quwira. need i say more. :p

A SPECIAL NOTE FROM ME! (yes, another one)

1) i still cant spell. deal with it.
2) CrimsonStoneKey has changed her name AGAIN! now its Angelthunder again. and im to lazy to change it all, so STUFF IT! shes angelthunder again. okie dokies? -face of inoccence-

"AK! THERES A USB THIEF ON THE LOOSE!"
--me when i found out Quwira has also lost her USB. she found it ten minutes later. BUT MINE IS STILL MISSING, GOD DAMMIT!!!! WAIT WAIT WAIT! FOUND IT! Mr Beard (WHO DOESNT HAVE A BEARD!!!!) found it and brought it up to my classroom.

"Tell him if he doesnt invite me to the website, I'll hug him!"
--Me to Gabby about her brother. how come everone has a brother except me?

"Damn skippy it is!...I dunno what skippy is, its just something you say when its true. Read it in a book. so it must be true!"
--Me while making cheese for science.

"-while eating last night's leftovers- what did we have for dinner last night?"
--Me talking to my sister and Angelthunder. while eating last nights leftovers.

Scott Evil: I was thinking I like animals. Maybe I'd be a vet.
Dr. Evil: An evil vet?
Scott Evil: No! Maybe like work in a petting zoo.
Dr. Evil: An evil petting zoo?
Scott Evil: You always do that!
--Austin Powers movie

"I heard Nana say you look like Pat."(Elf
"-raises eyebrow-"(me
"her husband...?"(Elf, thinking i dont know who he is.
"...I look like a man?"(Me.

talking to my friend and her Mum
Me: I dont care about who Dad's girlfriend is. I'm sure shes a very lovely person, but she could be the queen of england for all i care!...-silence-...well. thats certianly a creepy thought."

on Top gear (Tv show)
The Hamster:
oh, so a man wearing shorts says its cool, and thats it?"
Presenter: -takes photo of car to guy in shorts- do you think this is cool?"
Shorty McShortington: Yeah.
Presenter: You're wearing shorts, you ruined it!"

when we first heard Dad’s new ring tone, which is a barking dog
-barking sounds come from back seat-
Me: DAD! YOUR PHONE IS BARKING AT US!!

Me: (talks about how i did a voice call to a girl in Cananda (HI HASAME!!!))
Dad: i might be going to Canada.
me: really?
Dad: -explains-
dad: So its gong to the highest of all courts. The biggest one in Australia.
Me: …Which is in Canada……?

when we went up to the Gold Coast during winter. what kinda dorks books to go then?! oh right, my Dad. -.-;
Dad:
heck, its freezing up here.
Me: Its colder in Canada.

after i told Mum there werent many lemons on the tree
Mum, looking through the window: What are you talking about? theres heaps of lemons on the tree!
Me: ...Mum, thats the manderine tree."

(When i found out i was going to be late for soccer)
Me: OH CRAP CRAP CRAP!
Mum: Dont panic!
Me: TO LATE! PANICING!!!

Mum: I cant tell the difference between the girls and the boys at that distance.
Me: Mum, you cant tell the difference between manderines and lemons right in front of you.

(while trying to think of a name for my imaginary boyfriend)
Angel:
Robert?
Me: My uncle.
Angel: Bob?
Me: Same uncle.
Angel's Dad: John, Paul, Luke, Mark?
Me: Uncle, uncle, cousin cousin.
Angel: Bill?
Me: MY DAD!!!

Priest in our starts of semester mass after only the little kids would answer him: great, thats great to know you'll help! and you girls in the back- you had better help!"

Quwira: hugs make the world go round."
Angel: -sigh- money makes the world go round."
Me: you're all wrong. ITS GRAVITY! GRAVITY MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND!

when Elf wasnt going to her netball game and they might be short one
Me:
Just put Alister (Gabby's brother) in a skirt and he can replace Elf.

Me about Alister: If he doesnt put the Docter Who episodes on DVD for me, I'm going to put him in a skirt myself!

signature on deviantart: McDreamy is doing the McNasty with McHottie?! That McBastard!

girl in drama: She could kill you, and you wouldnt even know.

Mum: i feel very cactus. (meaning tired. CACTUS, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!)

Me: oh god, i swore in my uniform! please tell me no one heard!

Michelle, after a teacher took a group photo of us: you know, for such a happy person, you look very serious in photos.
Me: I look retarded when i smile.
Michelle: no you dont!
Me: YES I DO, DAMMIT! shit, i just swore in my uniform...SHIT!

this all happened on the same night, all phone calls:
Steven (my boss):
hey Herineca, how are you?
Me: sick.
Steven (automatically responding): thats good, i was cal-
Me: its good that im sick?
Steven: im sorry?
Me: you asked how i was, i said 'sick' and you said 'thats good'
Steven:...oops

Sheryl (aunt): hi Herineca, how are you?
Me: sick
Sheryl: thats good.
Me: you're the second person to do that!
Sheryl: do what?
Me: say 'thats good' when i say im sick
Sheryl: oh, sorry!

Michelle (mums friend): Hello Herineca, how are you?
Me: sick
Michelle: thats goo-, bad.
Me: you nearly said it!
Michelle, laughing: but i didnt!
Me: if you had, you would have been the third person tonight.

Someones sig on Deviant and my MSN name for a while: I Can't Find my Social Life...Damnit! There Is Goes, It Just Ran By Me Laughing Again.

Mrs Smith: on an A3 Poster.
Me: ok.
-Mrs Smith walks away-
Me: -turns to Angel- why is the world so confusing?
Angel: huh?
Me: why is A1 the biggest paper while A-what ever is the smallest?
Angel: I dont know.
me: -thinking-...what does the A even stand for?!
Angel: no idea
Me: MRS SMITH! what does the 'A' in A5 stand for?
Mrs Smith:...i dont know...
(seriously, if anyone knows, PM me.)

Me: Why is Eliza kicking someone? i didnt know she was that violent! ELI- oh wait, its Jade. never mind! ( i couldnt see who she was pretending to kick)

Elf: -acts stoned in a practice performance-
Me: are we stoned or something?
Lisa: excuse me, child! how old are you?
Me: I'll be 15 in october
Lisa: oh, thats ok, you can have all the drugs you want.

Angel's Mum, after dead silence in the car: Do you want to become a lesbien?
Angel: WHAT?!

Me, while trying on Angel's Sasuke cosplay and its way too big: I'm wearing Itachi's hand-me-downs!

Me, after Quwira's sister called me: yessums? -no reply- what-ums do-ums you-ums want-ums?

Elf: where are the faintails? where are the fantails? GIVE ME THE FKING FANTAILS!
Elf's friend: aww! shes maturing! (refering to the fact she swore)
Elf: JUST GIVE ME THE FKING FANTAILS!
Elf's other friend: maybe we should give her the fantials
Elf: YES!

using my new replacement for the word 'bitch'
Me:
YOU BEACHBALL!

again,
me:
SON OVA BEACHBALL!

While showing a movie i made with the footage i got of me and my friends cosplaying at a school dress up day:
Quwira's brother, cant see my hand in the picture:
Wheres your hand?
Me: Kisame ate it.

Artist comment on Deviantart: It was only a matter of time for me to find myself drawing a guy in a tutu.
(http://kris-wilson.deviantart.com/art/Plane-55028794) have a look, he does really funny stuff)

Rove, on 'Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?': Your money rests in the hands of a girl who can fit her entire arm in a ceral box...

when Elf could figure out the DVD player after i couldnt
Me:
my extensive knowledge of technology stops short of VCRs and DVD players.

heres what happened when my Dad called Elf's mobile while we were waiting for Mum to pick us up after seeing a movie. semi-quoting Terrence & Phillip from South Park.
Me:
Who is it?
Elf: Its Dad.
Me: Tell him hes a smelly basterd.
Elf, into phone: Herineca says hello.
...i meant it. He is a smelly basterd.

My sister is flying over to stay with some of our cousins tomorrow, (wed), and my other cousin is coming down to stay with me and Mum. heres what i said about it all:
Me:
oh dont worry about me, i'm having a replacement sister being brought in from Mt Gambier.

saw this on TV, dont remember who said it though, the show was 'Life' or something. he had just told someone the universe makes fun of us all:
Lady:
why would the universe make fun of us?
Bloke: I dont know, maybe its insecure.

Me, this was a while ago: I'm not going to die from that cold thats going around. no way. its not dramatic enough for my death.

Me on MSN, after my internet was being mean: )@( )#_(#&(_&$&)# )(&) $) BALONI!!
Quwira: hahaha
Me: BALONI, IT DID IT AGAIN!

My cousin Chibi had photos, and he sent me a bookmark with his picture on it. because i read a lot.
Me, thinking Chibi is so cute:
look! he sent this to me because he knows i read a lot!
Crim: ...is that cute?
Me: ITS FREAKING ADORABLE!!!

These are all my favourite Calvin and Hobbes quotes (some from the comics, some from icons i saw):

- Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
- As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.
- I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information
- This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen ...
-What's the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?
-Calvin: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What's misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I'm a genius.
-Reality continues to ruin my life.
- What good is being 'COOL' if you can't wear a sombrero?!
- Hobbes : "Do you think there's a God?
Calvin : "Well somebody's out to get me!"
- I think the surest sign that there is intelligent life out there in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

me, Quwira and Angel all slept in a tent during the holidays, and here is the funniest thing that happened pretty much all night:
Angel, blowing up an air mattress:
i dont think its going up!
Me, also blowing up one: yes it is!
Quwira: yours is so much more full
Me: I have swimmers lungs.
-while later-
Angel:
I think im choking. im just breathing carbon dioxide. how is me breathing it in and blowing it back out again making it go up?
Quwira: yeah, how come you can do it?
Me:...
Angel/Quwira: what?
Me: you.retards. your meant to breath in through your nose, and out through your mouth.

before that, we had to set up the tent. the tent was in the front yard. it was getting dark so i guess Mum decided to come out and help.
Me:
Mum? what are you doing out in the wilderness?

when i got into the car after school:
Me, really happily:
mum! i got 12 out of 15 on my SPELLING TEST!
-everyone stares at me-

over MSN:
Me:
you dont like the idea, do you
Quwira: i do!
Me: Lies make baby Jesus cry
Quwira: hes asleep!

after watching the traffic report.
Me:
some roads have cows and kangaroos on the loose, and we get speed cameras.

ages ago when FMA was still on cartoon network, late at night. first time i watched it. for about two seconds.
Me:
huh, FullMetal Alchemist. lets try this
Elf: sure, what ever.
Roy: died the same way?
Hues: yep. his brain exploded from the inside
Me: lets watch something else!

when an add for Motorola phones came on
Me:
i want to get one of them, purely so i can answer it saying (copying voice) hello moto.

science teacher:...if you're electrocuted, you tend to die.

during math:
Me, in head:
a b c d-...
Me, out loud: oh...my...god
Angel: what?
Me: I just forgot the alphabet!

after talking to a mum with a little kid in the hospital waiting room (dont panic, i just had to see a doctor) and she said girls are getting pregnant at seventeen now, so i should be careful.
Me:
I'm hungry
Mum: god, you're just an eating machine!
Me: hey, be glad I'm not pregnant.

When Mum had Chemo brain, she kept forgetting things. this is what happened when she forgot the word 'pillow case'
Mum:
you know, they're like envelopes, only they're not envelopes and you put the things in them, you know?!

I have a tendency to say things backwards in my head. dont ask me why.
Me
: snake...eka- OH MY GOD! I JUST FIGURED OUT WHERE EKANS CAME FROM!

at Michelle's party
me:
you know, i realised where 'Ekans' came from today
Quwira: you mean you didnt know before? its just 'snake' backwards
Michelle: and Arbok is 'Kobra'
Me:...oh my god, it is!

while having dinner:
Quwira, pretending to chew on a chicken bone:
it tastes like chicken!
Me, does the same: (fake surprise) well, i'll be dammed!

Quwira was away for her flute exam one day, and me and Mitchy got bored. so we decided to scar Angel's mind/freak her out/make her feel as uncomfortable as possible. heres my less dirty contribution.
Me:
say Mitchy, what part of the human body grows to ten times its size when stimulated?
Angel: EEK!
Mitchy: i dont know Herineca, what grows to ten times its size when stimulated?
Angel: youre both sick minded!
Me: the pupil in the eye.
Angel: I KNEW THAT!!

still trying to scar Angel's mind/freak her out/make her feel as uncomfortable as possible.
Mitchy:
L giving Quwira a lap dance.
Angel: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!
Mitchy: Quwira, L and Light
Angel: ...EEEEEEEEEEK!!!
Me, noticing people are staring: guys, can we stop shouting random pairings in the hall with everyone watching us?
Mitchy and Angel realise people are staring
Mitchy: ...that might be good.

me and my sister got hyper in the car, i was in the drivers seat, Mum came and knocked on the window. she was wearing sunglasses and didnt look amused.
me, after rolling down the window:
what seems to be the problem, officer?

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Conversations at soccer:

Meet the guys! (well, some of them)
Coach: Duh.
Chatter: girl who has a strange chain of thought...stranger than mine!
Boot: Chatter's mate and mine, and she can kick the ball really hard and really well.
Short-Stop: our youngest and smallest player (but shes hell fast and shoves people over twice her size!!)
Speedy: Our fastest player (and i mean FAST!!)
Ribbon: always wears a ribbon in her hair
Contact: our sweeper who isnt afraid to use her elbows...
Bluey: always wears a blue shirt to training
Step: i couldnt think of a better nickname for her.
Nik: one of my defenses.
J: another defense and a striker.
Ref: an umpire we normaly have. hes Coach's little brother's mate, and he and Coach's little bro used to be in my class.
Little Bro: Coach's little brother. used to be in my class.
The Man: an imaginary person Ribbon, Boot and Chatter came up with, and are convinced he will one day pop out of the shadows. HE HAS BEEN SPOTTED!!!

one of the first trainings:
Boot: What if you're a peadophile?
Coach: -sarcastic- oh, yeah. im a peadophile. i come out on Friday nights to train a girls team and im a peadophile. -evil face and rubs hands together- ok, lets practice.
Me, down in goals, half way down the pitch: All i heard from that conversation was 'Coach is a peadophile'
Coach: I'm not a peadophile!

Coach: Ok, look. if 'The Man' ever comes close to you, just scream and I'll grab one of the poles from the construction stuff over there -points- and bash him up, ok? can we focus on soccer now?
-next training-
Boot, spots a man walking by the creek down the end of the pitch: HOLY CRAP ITS THE MAN!"
Ribbon: -screams-OH MY GOD HES HERE!
Chatter: COACH GET YOUR POLE!!! GET YOUR POOOOLLLLLEEEE!!!!

someone: ATTACK OF THE KILLER MOTH! (dont remember who, but the moth was huge.)

Coach: Also, dont forget, niggle them!
-silence-
Chatter: Excuse me?
Coach: Niggle them.
Ribbon: what the hell is 'niggle'?!
Coach: Annoy! It means annoy! Like you're doing to me now!!!

Since Coach has decided that we are going to be the mean team of the division, heres our practice of how we start a fight:
-I pretend to punch Speedy in the face-
Bluey:
what was that for -shoves my shoulder-?
Me: Was an accident!"
Step: that was no accident -pretends punch, but ends up slapping me-.
-everyone cracks up-
Me, laughing my head off: did you just slap me?
Coach: Step, you cant slap the other player! you have to shove them! be aggressive!
Me: if i wasnt on this team, i'd hate us.

during a scratch match when the other team didnt show:
Coach when we were playing well:
Folds like Oragami, folds like Oragami.
Ref, playing in a scratch match against us: You're gay like Oragami, Coach.

Coach: I had this whole speech lined up about how Herineca and Contact werent going to be playing on Sunday, but Herineca is playing, so that stuffs it up.

in the change rooms:
Coach: Chatter, go into the toilet and sit there.
Chatter: Ew! so...unhygenic...
Coach: I dont care. i just want you to go in there so i dont have to look at you or hear you."
-Chatter goes in toilet-
Coach: Ok, our game plan for Sunday is -cranes around to see Chatter through the door- sit on the toilet!
Chatter: But i dont want too!!
Coach: Dont care! just do it! (by now, we're all laughing)
-thud-
Coach: that's an angry spit.

-strange clacking sounds coming from toilet-
Coach:
Chatter, come out of the toilet. You're starting to scare me.

Heres a long one:
Boot: Oh my god, we should go see Harry Potter as a team!
Chatter: Yeah! you can drive us, Coach!
Coach: yeah, sure. how am i meant to fit 14 or 15 girls into one car?
Boot: DES' MINI BUS!! (Des' mini bus hires out mini buses to people.)
Coach: A bus is harder to drive than a car.
Boot: well, thats not our problem.
Coach: It will be when i crash and kill you all. of course, i'll have jumped out and landed on grass and you'll all smash into a wall.
Chatter: is that what you do in your free time? plan how to kill us all?
Coach: Yep. thats why Ribbon, Short-stop, Speed and Contact arent here. I'm picking you off one by one!
Chatter: I KNEW IT! that training Herineca wasnt here! you looked evil!
Coach: Yup. thats when i started planning.

Coach: you know, I'm seriously considering putting Herineca out in field, and Chatter in goals, just to see her suffer. i dont care if we lose by 20 goals, but if i can see Chatter suffer i will die a happy man. I seriously will.

Coach: if i had to risk my life to save any of you, i wouldnt. In fact if it was Chatter, i'd help the guy! hed just be standing over you, deciding wether or not to stab you, and i'd just grab the knife and finish it!" (we know hes kidding)

Coach: Chatter, go into the change rooms. I'll be there in five minutes. anybody got a knife or a gun on them?"
Boot, not thinking: oh, you gonna shoot her with a knife?
Coach: Yeah i-...yes. im going to shoot her with the knife, and stab her with the gun.

-during Health class. Boot, Ribbon and Chatter are all in my health class-
Teacher: Paedophiles are normal people! but thats why we're so worried about kids giving out information on the net. a man in - my suburb & the team's home field area- was arrested and he had all sorts of information on heaps of girls in the area.
Boot: OH MY GOD ITS THE MAN!
Chatter: is he in jail?!?!
Teacher: oh yeah, hes in jail now.
Boot: oh, thank god
Ribbon: Coach doesnt need to protect us anymore.
Another kid: when did he get arrested?
Teacher: about two years ago.
-silence-
Boot: OH MY GOD THE MANS STILL OUT THERE!!

Me: When in doubt, call Coach!

Me and my Mum were sitting in the car park at a field we dont normaly play at, and werent not sure if it was my team at the other end of the field. so we called Coach, because i didnt want to walk down there and find out its not my team.
Me: -dials number and sees a boy who looks like Coach hold something to his ear-
Coach: Hello?
Me, knowing its Coach now: -creepy voice- I'm watching you...

in the change rooms at different field:
Coach:
-goes around a corner, which is strangely dark-
Boot: hes gonna get killed now
Coach: -fake scream-
Chatter: -real scream-
Coach: -pokes his head around corner and grins-

Coach told us at training that instead of training on Friday, we would go bowling. no one knew why, so we were repeatedly trying to get him to tell us.
Speedy: Coach! why are we here?"
Coach: im not telling
-many questions later-
Short-stop, wanting to know what we were waiting for: Coach, why are we here?
Coach: stop asking that!
Short-stop: i mean why are we waiting in this line?
Coach: oh...to get food.

Ribbon, running around telling everyone to be quiet: shush already!
Overhead announcer: a special message: thanks Coach, you are an awsome coach, from your awsome team.
(coach wasnt expecting that. it was funny)

THANKS COACH!!!!

at photos:
Ribbon: when Contact comes back with clothes on, we -notices weird looks shes getting- what?...OH GOD! (Contact wasnt in her uniform)

Ribbon: when we had to try out people for goalie since i couldnt be there: Goal keeping is...eugh (cant think of a proper word)
Me, walking past: Goal keeper within ear range.

I've decided i have to put this in:
girl on team we just played: you look retarded with that bandana.
Me: you look retarded with that face.
(i wear a red bandana folded and tied around my forehead to keep my hair out of my face. apparently Short-Stop's Mum thought i was scary when she first saw me because i looked so confident. I WAS SHIT SCARED!)

we had our last game (AND WE WON!) and then we had a barbeque after. the best quotes from the day came from Coach and his brother:

Coach: Nik! kick it straight! your gonna give me a heart attack!
Me, turns to Nik: you're going to give him a heart attack, Nik.

the absolute best thing that happened after we won. J brought silly string and while me and Short-Stop were trying to take the nets down, we suddenly see Coach tearing across the field to the forest (a small area full of trees and a creek that everyone calls the forest) and the whole team apart from us are chasing him. me and Short-stop were cracking up so hard. after that, this happened:
Coach, to Little Bro:
where were you? i asked you to take down the nets!
Little Bro: I was running after you to make sure you didnt get raped in the forest!

-after Coach opens his present, which is a shirt from his favourite team with 'Coach 1' and his last name on the back-
a Dad: what is it?
Little Bro: its ladies underwear! (he has a sick mind...oh well! thats what you get from coming from my primary school)

the try outs are on for the new season. i only know of three girls who arent coming back because they switched clubs

(while we're begining to warm up
everyone: -
silence-
Coach: go on, have a talk!...start a conversation!
Chatter:...i bought a Kevin '07 T-Shirt for seven bucks.

Coach (warning the team about Chatter): you should have heard the stories i heard last year. 'my TV fell on me', 'i threw a chair at my dog', and now shes bought a Kevin '07 T-Shirt for seven bucks.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

you're still reading? wow you have a good attention span!

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Something completely random i wrote replying to an email one of my sister's friends sent me:

Who are you? Is this Gabby? Cuz im not sure any more. I’m even more confused then I was when I opened the email. I don’t know who this girl next to me is but her but she looks familiar. Maybe she doesn’t exist. My brain doesn’t. I don’t exist. This email doesn’t exist. You don’t exist. My sister doesn’t exist. This is all a dream and you will wake up...NOW! Still asleep, hey? Wake up,...NOW NOW NOW!!! -_-. You’re a stubborn one. Ok...NOW! How about now? Now? Now? No? Damn. Maybe you will just have to stay asleep for the rest of your life. Maybe this is a coma...which would explain my 'you don’t exist' theory. Maybe this is all a figment of you imagination. Maybe you are not Gabby who is friends with my Elf. If you are not, sorry and could you please forward this to Elf and tell her to send it on to Gabby because her sister didn’t know who sent her the email in the first place and caused this long, long response which she has wasted her time with. Thanks!

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

read the other authors i have on my favourites! or the stories on my favourites...what ever. read them! they're awsome!! yeahz :p

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Unexpected Dangers by CarlyJo reviews
This is not going to be an easy journey, you will be taken to your breaking point and back again. You will make friends and enemies and you will have a lot of grief and sadness by the time this mission is over. You are the world's only hope.FirstStoryR&R
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 17 - Words: 29,146 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 5/8/2008 - Published: 2/5/2007
Trouble by Pinkamoo reviews
I am sweet. I am innocent. I never get in trouble. I haven't just met an arrogant pervert who I want to castrate. I am lying.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 49,331 - Reviews: 263 - Favs: 285 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 10/26/2007 - Published: 5/17/2007 - Complete
Rielle by Chaos Flute reviews
If a unicorn had a sense of humor... what would it find amusing? Added: If you could possess someone in your sleep, who would you pick?
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,783 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 8/29/2007 - Published: 8/20/2007 - Complete
The Sandals by quwira reviews
Matsuri bounced out of bed, ready to start the day. But little does this three year old know, it could be her last. Based on the Atomic Bombing of Hiroshima
Fiction: Historical - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 941 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Published: 5/29/2007 - Complete
The Beginning of the End by Bonny Abomination reviews
At the age of thirteen Lucy is "kidnapped" due to anger problem. After a year at a school of obedence she is forced to live with the two men that abducted her. The years are full of pain and sorrow. In the end there is only one way she can be free. . .
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 26 - Words: 44,379 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/27/2007 - Published: 12/13/2006 - Complete
In the Net by Maddi.T reviews
A small ode to the hardest position on a Soccer feild
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 328 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/26/2006
Sir Ticklish by E. M. Grinlord reviews
Sir Ticklish was clearly not cut out for rescuing damsels in distress. Too bad this author makes him do it anyway...
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,367 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/1/2005 - Published: 2/20/2005
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

My not so average life reviews
Fern's start to the new year hasn't been going well, and she considers her life to be boring. That all changes when she begins to meet new people. Werewolves, psychics and things that only exist in movies appear. But hey, aren't movies based on real life?
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,338 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/10/2009 - Published: 4/18/2009
Jewel Lands reviews
When Jesse finds out her dog is actually black dingo from another world, she gets thrown head first into a world of summoners, transformers, guardians & elementalists. Worst of all, the guy she thought was her dog has an attitude! SAX! BAD DOG, LIE DOWN!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,231 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/12/2008 - Published: 7/7/2007
Peace reviews
I sat down in my seat and saw her move out of the corner of my eye. She shifted away. Was she antisocial? or just shy?
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 933 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/16/2007 - Complete
Sparky reviews
one day I took to calling my friend Sparky for no apparent reason. then found out she had a demon inside her! heres how it got there....Guest stars: Sparklonton, Miss Paine, Victoria, Michelle, me, Kelly, the hermit and a pickle jar.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,443 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/3/2007
Elements reviews
Dawn was sitting in assembely when a boy crashed through the window and pulled her out. Then a weird boy tells her that she can control light! Blaze, Amarina, Peter, Griffin and Fiona. Who are these people? What do they know that Dawn doesn't?
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,215 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/31/2006 - Published: 6/14/2006