Author has written 5 stories for Love, Friendship, and Life.
I don't feel like talking about me so instead I'm going to put random quotes...
Tab: "Do any of us have money for pizza?"
Me: "I don't even have pockets."
Jalea: "We're gonna die. We're gonna get whatever that thing is, salmonella."
Me: "From what? There's no chicken?"
Jalea: "From mosquitoes."
"You know you are going to fail math if one of the answers on your math homework is 'a lot'." –Kayla
Me: Yaaaaaaaay apples!!
Stephanie: I’m pretty sure you’re the only person I know who gets that excited about apples!
Me: Well apples are exciting… YAY APPLES!!
Amanda: AHHH!! NAKED MEN!!
Me: Well Amanda… you’re looking at Cosmo… what did you expect?
-We decided to go read Magazines at Barnes and Noble at 9:30 at night… fun stuff!
Me: AH! I think there is something in my eye.
Kristal: It’s okay to wink at me. Don’t hide your true feelings.
Me: Oh yes! Kristal you’re so sexy.
Kristal: We are at work and that is completely inappropriate (Kristal walks away)
Me: …what the heck?
Me: Wonder Pets, Wonder Pets we’re on our way to help an animal and save the day…
Amanda: What are you singing?
Me: Ummm… the theme song for the Wonder Pets…
Me: It was the last thing I saw before I left the house this morning and now it’s stuck in my head.
Me: At least it wasn’t Dora.
While watching Sesame Street with Ethan (he’s two and a half)
TV: My name is Big Bird. What’s your name?
Me: Can you tell big bird your name?
Me: What’s your name?
Me: Yes. What’s your name?
Ethan: My name.
Me: What is your name?
Me: ETHAN! What is your name Ethan?
Ethan: Yeah, name.
Me: Oh forget it! Just watch TV okay?
(He is now three and insists his name is Joey. Weird little boy…)
Me: grabs plastic bowl and smacks ground repeatedly
Lindsay: What are you doing!?
Me: There was a spider!!
Lindsay: lifts bowl Ummm… there is no spider but don’t worry, the fuzz you just squished is dead.
Me: Thank God!
Me: Tori, do you need to go potty before we go outside?
Me: Are you sure?
Me: Do you want to try?
Tori: No, I’m a tiger.
Tori: I’m a TIGER!! RAWR!!
Me: Okay then.
Me: Help me find Adrian’s other sock before his mom gets here!
Danielle: It’s just a sock, calm down.
Me: I’m sorry… have you met his mom? She’s freakin’ scary! Plus we lost a sock yesterday so if he goes home today with only one sock she’s probably going to stab me!
Danielle: Haha, that’s true. Well hurry up and find that sock then, I don’t feel like cleaning your blood off the floor.
“This water tastes like FISH ASS!!” –Chris (how he knows what fish ass tastes like I will never know.)
Danielle: I have a date on Friday night.
Me: With who? Tell me about him!!
Danielle: Well… his name is Gary, he’s really sweet, he only has one eye, he works at Hastings with me…
Me: WAIT!! Say that last part again….
Danielle: He works at Hastings with me?
Me: Yes, I’m suddenly curious because he’s a co-worker… it couldn’t be the fact that he’s only got one eye….
-His nickname is one-eyed Gary, he has a glass eye!
“Your slove makes me excite!” –Keely
Mom: What is that?
Me: I think it’s an ass…
Mom: I meant the entire animal not just its backside!
Me: (reads sign) That’s a wild ass.
Mom: Oh… I thought you were just being a smart ass.
While riding in the car…
(phone rings and then stops) Tab: Leslie? What the heck. I have a missed call from you.
Me: But my phone is in my pocket…
Tab: Well check and see.
Me: (pulls phone out of back pocket) HOLY CRAP!! I CALLED YOU WITH MY ASS… AND I PUT YOU ON HOLD!! I DON”T EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO THAT WITH MY HANDS!!
Me: I feel really hyper and for some reason I can’t stop talking and I feel really awkward but I don’t want the silence because then it will be even more awkward so I’m just trying to say everything that pops into my head and maybe it’s the caffeine affecting me. That’s probably it right?
Tab: You’re drinking root beer… it doesn’t have any caffeine…
Me: You’re right it’s definitely the caffeine.
Me: CJ HAD HER BABY!!
Tab: That’s awesome! What did she have?
Me: A BABY!! PAY ATTENTION!!
Me: You need a new closet door.
Jessica: Seriously! I don’t want people looking at my shit!
“I’m a filthy frog kisser.” –Stephanie
Me: (Looking at an exhibit try to find the animal) Uhhh…
Heather: Look on the other side… do you see it?
Me: Uhhh….. mulch?
Heather: Yes and a hose. Isn’t it wonderful?
Me: Yes, thank you so much. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d missed that.
(at the zoo!)
Mom: Why do the people in these movies have to be so dumb?
Me: Because otherwise the movie would be over right after it started…
Jim: Hmmm… this doll looks really creepy… I think I’ll throw it in the fire!
Me: Aaaaaaand cue end credits!!
-We were watching dead silence! Haha
Looking at the snakes in the zoo….
Mom: I don’t think I’d wanna meet that snake in a dark alley…
Me: I don’t think I’d want to meet that snake in broad daylight!
Random Kid: I wouldn’t wanna meet that snake at all!!
Finding Georgia died :(
We switched computers with my dad and the files got deleted.
I'm not that upset though because I didn't really like the story anyway.
I'll write a brand new story... eventually.