To Be Ascertained
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Joined 11-05-06, id: 545584, Profile Updated: 11-14-09
Author has written 15 stories for School, Love, Fantasy, Humor, War, Life, Nature, General, and Friendship.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH...

That is the sound of a tumbleweed, folks. I'm outta here. All my best (?) poetry will still be here but the prose must go. Looking back at my old works on this site makes me cringe, because now I've learnt so much more about writing - and one of those things is that goofing off on the Internet all the time will only hinder my progress.

Signing off at 18:00 (GMT) Saturday 2nd February 2008. Whoa, it's been almost two years since I joined. That makes me feel like one helluva quitter. Meh. I've decided to abandon this pen-name, I've done so many stupid things on the 'net with it that it makes me cringe how immaturely I approached things not so long ago. A big ole kudos to those who've enjoyed reading my stuff, I appreciate all the constructive advice and support you've given me. Maybe I'll meet you there when we're all in this business together.

Away writing (with a pen). Forever.

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The Student Bible by Iced Tea Junkie reviews
Todd Gafferty, an atheist, creates a new religion just so he can get away with stuff at school. But when he finds himself surrounded by followers, things get a little out of hand. Fans, your Todd fix has returned! Please read & review!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 26 - Words: 26,096 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 7/15/2010 - Published: 3/11/2007
Meet Katiana by Katherine Willow reviews
Meet Katiana. She likes drugs, sex, and her hair color. She hates everything else, including her Alist parents, her weight, and her friends. [rated M for explicit language, sexuality, eating disorders, drug use, etc.] Long but a really easy read.
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 40 - Words: 34,676 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 2/29/2008 - Published: 9/30/2006
Fantasy Parodies by Lccorp2 reviews
Fantasy parodies, mocking anything and everything about the genre. You want to read these. You just know you want to.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 15 - Words: 40,794 - Reviews: 313 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 1/18/2008 - Published: 8/12/2006
Grandmother's Fables by Girlbrainiac reviews
Each storyteller, when they inherit the staff, carves their own story into it for coming generations to see. One day I will inherit that staff, and in my spare thoughts, I wonder how my story will read.
Fiction: Fable - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,314 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/14/2007 - Published: 7/19/2007
The Brief Adventure Of Prince Brefa’niian’trelut by Jack Argyle reviews
A short story which follows Prince Brefa’niian’trelut The Unpronounceable and his fight against stereotypical evil. Rated 'T' for the occassional loss of appendages. Now Digitally Remastered.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,774 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/2/2007 - Complete
Viva la Stone Bridge! by a Cornucopia of Love reviews
Mrs. Sturtz: Mr. Person is infuriated with the amount of pizza being delivered to this school. [A collection of high school quotes!]
Fiction: Humor - Rated: M - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 54,966 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/16/2007 - Published: 6/11/2006 - Complete
Ashes by K.G. Evans reviews
“Remember the sign at my old bakery? …Chocolate is a dessert for lovers… But…in your case…well…let’s see how much you like it in a few minutes. You did say you liked my cake…enough that if it was your last food you could die happy?”
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,077 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/22/2007 - Complete
Poodletown by Iced Tea Junkie reviews
Welcome to Poodletown, population: 3. Has nothing to do with poodles.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,142 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/13/2007 - Complete
Just Another Monday by Ayumi Fallassion reviews
In dedication to those who died at Virgina Tech April 16th. Rest in Peace.
Poetry: School - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 230 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/22/2007 - Complete
You're Not Graded On Creativity by EmilyAlice10 reviews
I can't really describe it... just read! You'll see!
Poetry: School - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 125 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/19/2007 - Complete
The Masterpiece by MissHaunted-MoonLight reviews
Art doesn’t have to be complicated.
Poetry: School - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 167 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/17/2007
It's Alive by AlexRose reviews
Silly T'kor. You're not allowed to do that! Now Dalia and Daniel have to deal with an oak turned man and they're not even in your world. Previously titled Effects
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,211 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 4/5/2007 - Published: 3/28/2007 - Complete
Finite Cycle by Elliptical Shapes reviews
Am I a learning curve? Or simply structural randomness?
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Mystery/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 34 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/30/2007 - Complete
The Thousandth Night by Cosmos Senshi reviews
Reader, I take you to a sun soaked land ‘cross oceans, mountains and deserts of sand. Through the bazaar where rare wonders are sold to a man upon a throne of pure gold. With graven face he ponders kingly cares. Who among his wives shall carry the heir?
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 16,753 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 3/28/2007 - Published: 2/4/2007 - Complete
Tribute to Betty by Chameleon81 reviews
A tribute to my precious little Betty who left us much too young.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 101 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/23/2007 - Complete
If These Toilets Could Talk by Aurora Dusk reviews
Toilets are the place to slip average you...not the provebrial BLAMMO!
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 240 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/15/2007 - Complete
caffeination is bad for your skin, not mine by Midnight In Eden reviews
Opposite forces mean little in the light of caffeine highs.
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/25/2007 - Complete
Sockless Susan by Zana reviews
[CW] Poor young Susan was, well, poor. So everyone made fun of her. Now she gets her revenge! dum dum duuuum! Another random short.
Fiction: Mythology - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 426 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/23/2007 - Complete
faceless by theoretically beautiful reviews
because everyone's faceless
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 57 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/23/2007 - Complete
Save the Humans! by divinci89 reviews
what if you were an alien on earth for the first time for only five minutes watching commercials and you had to make a deduction of what our society is like? this is my satire of human society in general.
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 873 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/22/2007 - Complete
JesusRenegade Hero by RamdianZERO reviews
So really, this isn't so much a story as it is an idea I came up with. Basically, it's Jesus defying the will of God. Yeah, this is probably really blasphemous, but that's what makes it fun.
Fiction: Spiritual - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 753 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/19/2007 - Complete
Thoughts of a Room by Yonder reviews
Have you ever wondered what happens in your room when you are not there?
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 721 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/8/2007 - Complete
The Swirling Vortex of My Demise by AlexdR reviews
definately not a cry for help
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Angst/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 212 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 1/25/2007 - Published: 7/28/2005
His Eyes by Charismatic's love reviews
This poem I wrote shortly after being with my boyfriend. Its pretty much what I feel every time I look into his eyes.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 319 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/25/2007 - Complete
Confessions of a 'That Girl' by adio kalinihta reviews
Annie Durham is inexpressibly, irreverently, and irreparably a ‘that girl’. Massive rewrite of Your Daily Catastrophes.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,218 - Reviews: 381 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 1/18/2007 - Published: 8/22/2006
The Tree Swing by lux in tenebris reviews
You took a petal between your fingers and slowly, petal by petal, you rid the flower of its beauty, like time passing and the people trapped inside it, laying their palms flat on the invisible wall, watching in despair as the world flies by without them..
Fiction: Spiritual - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 919 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Published: 12/31/2006 - Complete
Welcome to Northville Boarding by Miss Uots reviews
Dear Student, Welcome to Northville Boarding School. Learn, behave, and you might just keep yourself from getting sent to the basement. Enjoy your stay!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 28,643 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/5/2006 - Published: 11/13/2006
Silent Tears by Sweetvenom1 reviews
A slave struggles to find love, freedom and his destiny, three things lost to him as a child. Not for the kiddies, folks. lots of sex and violence and S&M themes December 2nd, 2006...I'M BACK!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 20 - Words: 54,922 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 12/2/2006 - Published: 4/16/2003
Good Girls Don't Play with Fire by adio kalinihta reviews
Reese was a good girl. Conscientious, effective, and thorough. Everything in her life was planned perfectly, except for a little infatuation with a certain arrogant brat named Cole Roderick. Oneshot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,527 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 561 - Follows: 38 - Published: 7/30/2006 - Complete
How to Write a Fantasy Cliche by RoseMcCann reviews
Write original fantasy cliches that will turn your neighbors blue with envy! Evil Archmages, princesses and dragons galore in this simple, easy-to-use reference guide for all things cliche. Write your very own trite novella in the blink of an eye!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,700 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/18/2005 - Published: 2/21/2005
yA LoLz AIM sux0rz:P by leadlesspencil reviews
Although I respect everyone's right to type as they please, some things are just too vomit-inducing for me to remain silent about.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,056 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 8 - Published: 7/1/2004
Sail to the Moon by Rionarayne reviews
Based on the song, "Sail to the Moon," by Radiohead. There are a lot of symbols and deeper meanings, so don't be upset if you don't fully understand it the first time through.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 404 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/13/2004
The Downfall of Lord Soriss! by E. M. Grinlord reviews
Ridiculous epic about the downfall of one of those cliche big, bad villains. Includes exploding Goblin heads, a car that doesn't exist, and a wizard who...doesn't really do anything!
Poetry: Fantasy - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,228 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 6 - Published: 10/15/2003
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Gossip
Everywhere I go in school, I always inadvertantly hear someone speak ill of another, unashamed of what they are saying or even the repurcussions of doing do. This is the thing I hate most about school....
Poetry: School - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 26 - Published: 10/23/2007 - Complete
The Bleak Equation reviews
One of the more...depressing things I have wrote. I surprise myself sometimes. It's about a man who drowns himself...Pleasant, I know.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Angst/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 109 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/6/2007 - Complete
Union reviews
There are some friends who would trek worlds and fight dragons with you. And they never let go.
Poetry: Friendship - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 108 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9/14/2007 - Complete
Thoughts in the Void reviews
I've been waiting too long.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 26 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/21/2007 - Complete
Gold Glows Better in the Sunlight
The best things in life taste better when you share them.
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 131 - Published: 7/25/2007 - Complete
Horse Drawn Dreams reviews
No one ever notices them pass by. And when they wake the next day, all they remember is the whirl of adventure and the clicking of a horse's hooves.
Poetry: Fantasy - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 139 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7/25/2007 - Complete
Hail the Conquering Hero reviews
Hah, those pathetic idealistic heroes...they don't know what I have in store for them. The perfect reward for their foolishness...agony, pain, anguish and torment. Hail the conquering hero's prize.
Poetry: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Horror/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 188 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/30/2007 - Complete
Realms of the Ethereal reviews
A collection of short poems about special places. Suggestions and advice are most welcome.
Poetry: Fantasy - Rated: K - English - Spiritual/Fantasy - Chapters: 20 - Words: 513 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/16/2007 - Published: 5/14/2007 - Complete
If Shoes Had Souls reviews
Just a daft little thought I had, turned into poem form. It's about direction in life.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 219 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5/14/2007 - Complete
Soldier's Poem reviews
The trauma of war is all consuming.
Poetry: War - Rated: K+ - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 92 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 5/10/2007 - Complete
It's A Platinum Goldfish, Dude reviews
Sometimes I envy goldfish...swimming around in that bowl, oblivious to every woe or misfortune that befalls us humans, safe from the curse of conscience. That privelege alone must be worth the world...Forget gold. This fish is platinum.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 146 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/18/2007 - Complete
Ungrateful Words reviews
This poem is so silly and nonsensical that after reading it all you'll have to say is, Eh? It's about uncompleted or badly written poems and my rage of this expressed in an amusing fashion. Don't ask me how I thought of this...
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 130 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4/17/2007 - Complete
Red Requiem reviews
Red Requiem is the tale of a warrior named Tirania and her journeys through a very surreal and troubled world. Everywhere she goes is plagued by a demonic song, and it is up to her to destroy the one making these songs, a man called the Chanter...
Poetry: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Poetry - Chapters: 6 - Words: 1,166 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 3/30/2007 - Published: 3/16/2007
If Guns Were Roses reviews
A poem demonstrating love as a weapon...and what would happen if guns really were roses.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 92 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/27/2007 - Complete
Career's Advice reviews
As my exams draw ever closer and the pressure mounts up, nothing gives me better peace of mind than knowing what I want to do with life. I may have several interests and paths in mind, but it all boils down to one thing: all I really want to do is write.
Poetry: School - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 68 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 11/28/2006 - Complete