Iced Tea Junkie
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Poll: Which of my incomplete stories should I try to finish first? Vote Now!
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Joined 11-25-06, id: 546865, Profile Updated: 07-16-10
Author has written 19 stories for Humor, Romance, Young Adult, Humor, General, and Biography.

HOT OFF THE PRESSES: Former facebook friends of Todd Gafferty, and anyone else who would like to be, I've created a facebook group for all things "Student Bible", a place for discussions, jokes, fan art, Todd's playlist, and whatever else you can think of. This is my way of reaching out to the fans and generally being an attention whore, but it's all in good fun. Check it out:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=135666149798734&v=app_2373072738#!/group.php?gid=135666149798734

NEWEST: I'm no longer in high school, I'm in ART school, and that means I have more free time (no more real work, just lots of pretty pictures). Why should you care? Well, more free time for me equals more Awesome writings for you, including a revisit to Sugar County to finish The Student Bible (or try my darndest to). Every time I reread it, I'd get that nagging spark that said, "I'm WAY funner to write than that stupid research paper! Write me! Write me!", and last night I could resist it no longer. So expect a lot more Iced Tea in your future.

NEWER: Sadly, Todd's account was removed from Facebook because he was listed under a "false" high school network. Technically, it was a fictional high school, and those Facebook nazis can screw themselves! So to any of you who friended him, now you know why he's disappeared.

NEW: "The Student Bible" has been nominated at "Time Is Running Out" Awards.

http://www.freewebs.com/tiroawards/site.htm

Click on "Nominees". I'm at the top under the "Humour" category. Vote for me!

Hey, hey, hey! It's Iiiiiced Tea Junkie!

Age: As old as my tongue and...uhh...I forget the rest.

Gender: Unknown. But you're welcome to find out.

Location: Nome, Alaska. Just kidding. But there's no place like Nome.

Other Info: Drinks at least two glasses of iced tea per day.

Actually, now that I've established myself as an Awesome writer on this site, I think it's time to reveal my true identity. Brace yourselves, kids!

Age: Nineteen and a half. Gods, I'm old! (Especially on FicPress, where the median age is 14.) (And the median talent is 6.)

Gender: Female. (I'm not sure how obvious that was. I try to write with a gender-neutral voice.)

Location: Massachusetts, the most bitchin' and rebellious of all Your Majesty's colonies!

Other Info: Drinks at least three glasses of iced tea per day. Perhaps it's time for an intervention.

Stories of mine you absolutely MUST read: Quarters, Quarters, and Quarters. I think you get the idea. (READ QUARTERS!! NOW COMPLETE!!) And actually, once you've read that, I implore you to check out some of my older, under-reviewed works, such as Hall of Unsung Heroes or Darkness and The Man. They're not so bad, really. (I mean, hey, I wrote them!)

My favorite collection on this site is the Liam Smith Show, by Jason Gaston, which is incredibly underrated! Nearly every episode is over 100,000 words long. That's more than all of my stories combined! Not to mention, it's M-EFFING HILARIOUS. Read 'em now, or I'll never speak to you again! Well, not like...I speak to you much, anyway.

Peace, Love, and Iced Tea,

Iced Tea Junkie

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Finding the Gloaming by DreamWish reviews
This is a story from two different people's point of view. R&R
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 15,560 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/11/2011 - Published: 11/29/2006
The Matchmaker by StormDancer reviews
It is said that if you put your name in locker 420, the Matchmaker will find you your perfect match. So what happens when the arrogant spoiled brat is captivated and the matchmaker meets her match?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 137,441 - Reviews: 3407 - Favs: 3,829 - Follows: 1,347 - Updated: 8/19/2008 - Published: 11/3/2006 - Complete
Fantasy Parodies by Lccorp2 reviews
Fantasy parodies, mocking anything and everything about the genre. You want to read these. You just know you want to.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 15 - Words: 40,794 - Reviews: 313 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 1/18/2008 - Published: 8/12/2006
A Collection of Mindless Teenage Ramblings by The Worst Writer Ever
The Worst Writer has reached a new low: pushing her angsty miseries on others! Rated T for Terrible.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,431 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/9/2007
A Ghastly Tale from Gloomrot Manor by James Armstead reviews
We are introduced to the tormented soul of Lord Gloomrot...
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 689 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/9/2007 - Complete
I AM by Jasrey Blue reviews
I am trying to be smart.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 406 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Published: 4/2/2007 - Complete
Be Scene by Netochka Nezvanova reviews
There's something wrong with you. You know it. You love it. You hope to God that it's true.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,339 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/16/2007 - Complete
Embracing The Darkness by Night Music reviews
A romantic retelling of the story of Hades & Persephone / Kore. *updated/edited with exception of Epilogue*
Fiction: Mythology - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 66,433 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 265 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 3/9/2003 - Published: 10/17/2002
Sweetest Of Enchantments by Night Music reviews
A forbidden romance is in bloom...unfortunately, neither of them knows it. (Setting: Europe - 1800's) *complete*
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,677 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 7 - Published: 9/4/2002
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Student Bible reviews
Todd Gafferty, an atheist, creates a new religion just so he can get away with stuff at school. But when he finds himself surrounded by followers, things get a little out of hand. Fans, your Todd fix has returned! Please read & review!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 26 - Words: 26,096 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 7/15/2010 - Published: 3/11/2007
The Triumph of Neptune
The royal family of Pluto suffers a terrible Fate.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,374 - Published: 7/4/2010 - Complete
Suicide Killer
No matter what your trauma, premature death is never the answer. My fists felt the affront before my conscience did, and they never wasted time negotiating.-Kate Harmony, suicide killer
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,682 - Published: 4/1/2010 - Complete
The Sexiest Man Alive reviews
So I met this guy at the Laundromat last night, and damn, was he sexy! I'm talking drop-dead, film-noir, dark-mustachioed, tilted-hat, horseback-riding, British-accent...the rest is inside! Very funny! READ!
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 153 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/5/2008 - Complete
Wanderlust reviews
Oneshot. A restless vagrant wanders the streets. Metaphor for humanity. Please read and review.
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 578 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7/23/2008 - Complete
I Am Writer: Hear Me Think! reviews
It's writing about writing, the Iced Tea Junkie way. Basically, I just rambled onto my keyboard for a while, and this is what came out. Please read, review, and share with other writers!
Fiction: Biography - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,978 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Published: 7/7/2008 - Complete
The Realtor reviews
How does one go about selling a haunted house? It was a tricky business, to be sure. But number 66 on 6th Street, though modern and unassuming in its three bedrooms and two and a half baths, was undeniably and invariably haunted. Please read & review!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Horror/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,703 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/4/2008 - Published: 6/29/2007
Strictly Business reviews
Two executives, madly in love but silenced by fear. A short story by Iced Tea Junkie. NOT a harlequin romance, sorry to disappoint. Oh, just read it already! And review. Yes, that would be nice.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,107 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/25/2008 - Complete
50 Cent Peace reviews
A sequel to QUARTERS, focusing on the further adventures of Charley and Diana. Contains some familiar faces plus a few new ones. Enjoy.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,909 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/16/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007
The Supermarket Saga reviews
A collection of very short stories, all taking place at the local supermarket. Horny old women and suicidal janitors abound! Please read & review!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,409 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/13/2008 - Published: 3/22/2007 - Complete
How NOT To Write a Story reviews
A redneck writer struggles to pen his first novel, an epic fantasy with every cliche in the book. Read to see what is, and isn't, going through his mind as he tries to come up with ideas. VERY FUNNY. Please read & review! NOTE: Actual story now underway!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,730 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 1/7/2008 - Published: 5/30/2007
Darkness and The Man reviews
Chet is one fourth vampire, one fourth werewolf, and fifty percent human, with the weaknesses of all three species but the strengths of none. The Man is a ruthless female bounty hunter who goes only by...The Man. They have an adventure. Please R & R!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,752 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 11/11/2007 - Published: 6/10/2007
Sponsored Songs reviews
Cheer up, whore! The answer's clear. Buy, buy, BUY! And this time, don't forget to leave a review. Chap 35 up! Neopets!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 35 - Words: 7,510 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 10/8/2007 - Published: 12/5/2006
Quarters reviews
COMPLETE! 4 quarters make a dollar. 4 lives make 1 amazing story. Please read and review! COMPLETE!
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 26 - Words: 10,747 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/4/2007 - Published: 5/19/2007 - Complete
For Posterity reviews
Unfinished pieces & oneshots. A taste of my writing ability. Reviews are welcome.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 5,540 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 8/11/2007 - Published: 6/18/2007
Insult & Ignorance reviews
Set in the English countryside, late 1800s. Blythe Porter, our witty protagonist, lives with a rich, obnoxious stepfamily. Her stepsisters annoy her, her stepbrother is hot for her, the housekeeper hates her guts, and what's with that handsome albino? R&R
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,132 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/7/2007 - Published: 4/4/2007
A Love Poem About Punctuation! reviews
I wanna hold you, I wanna hold you in parentheses...
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 152 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 17 - Published: 6/13/2007 - Complete
Poodletown reviews
Welcome to Poodletown, population: 3. Has nothing to do with poodles.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,142 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/13/2007 - Complete
The Hall of Unsung Heroes reviews
It's a superhero dramedy, starring the telekinetic Captain Capable and her gang of super coworkers. Watch as they battle tiny aliens, evil cyborgs, high school reunions, and the feelings within their hearts! Please read & review!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,803 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 6/5/2007 - Published: 5/31/2007