written 2007

Determined to put the fear of God into the racist homophobe who messed up her best friend, mild-mannered Jane Hazelton resorts to hiring a thug to do the job. Trouble is, said thug isn’t interested in money, he’s interested in her. **COMPLETED**

Lilian, lost soul and sarcasm aficionado, ventures into a city that's teeming with zombies. Creepy commanders, a guitar player turned mercenary, and jokes made at the expense of the undead ensue.

I said hi. He said he'd eat my eyeballs. I said to put his goggles on. He said he raped my cat. I said he's a cannibal Saiyan. He said he's a colorblind vampire. The psychic said we'd be gushing over each other by next year. Someone's lying.

REMOVED She's your "ordinary" teenager and he's the school's new psychotic jackass. They both live to kill and kill to live...kind of. But you know it's love when it's midnight and they're together, mixing a cyanide solution by candlelight.

It is said that if you put your name in locker 420, the Matchmaker will find you your perfect match. So what happens when the arrogant spoiled brat is captivated and the matchmaker meets her match?