Hello.

I'm Amber. I'm s i x t e e n. I change my penname periodically, so don't be surprised if you suddenly can't find me. I do the same thing with my stories on occasion, if I suddenly think of a better and more clever name. I've been writing since I was nine years old, I love it so much. It's as much a part of me as breathing. I love reading, too. Yes, I'm an idiot. I tend to write depressing and angst-ridden things, because usually i write when I'm pissed off or sad, or just in a bad mood in general. Or when I get...inspiration. Which sounds completely gay, but it's true.

I'm a wierd person. I say random things, a lot of the time I don't make sense.

And I like it that way.

A lot of the times I am one of those annoying perfectionists. Which is why I am constantly editing my chapters and deleting stories and reposting them and making new ones. So if you're reading a story, once in a while you might want to check previous chapters if you feel confused, because most likely I changed a bit. Sorry about that inconvenience. Reveiws make me more inclined to update faster, and that isn't just a load of bullshit.

I post my stories online because no one knows me here, and I hate it when people I know read my stories. I feel too exposed. Writing is like a part of your soul, and I put everything I have into my stories. I feel so wierd, even twitchy, (lol) when I sit there watching one of my friends read my stories, so...they don't read them anymore. Because I'm secretive and dumb about it.

I recently had to read one of my stories outloud for my creative writing class...I almost died. Yeah, that's a tad bit dramatic...maybe...passed out, would be a better way of putting it?

And hopefully no one I know will find their way to this page...that would suck, a lot...

But anyway, here's a little bit about me. If you don't want to endure the ranting, simply leave or just pop down to my stories.

Reveiws are always quite lovely.

HATES

--People who feel that the only thing they're good for in life is to sit on their asses, being narcissistic and disgustingly judgemental, picking out everyone else's flaws like they have a right to.

(I mean, honestly, does it really go back to what we learned in elementary school? About how you have no self worth, so you have to pick apart everyone else to make yourself feel better? Or are you really that conceited that you think everyone else is below you?)

--Bithcy girls who start drama and make up rumors

--Guys who like to manupulate girls and play with their emotions

--Girls who do the same thing to guys

--Myspace pussies who start drama online

--People who lie to me

--People who constantly say things behind people's backs, and lie to their faces about it or act perfectly friendly when they really hate the person.

--People with absolutely no backbone.

--A lot of other things that I can't think of right now, because I'm exhausted.

LIKES

--Music (especially Evanescence, Paramore, Less Than Jake, NOFX, Jewel, My Chemical Romance, Plus 44, Senses fail, MSI, E Nomine, Flyleaf, Flogging Molly, Dashboard confessional, Blink 182)

--Boys (even though they do suck sometimes)

--Being Irish and being English

--English and Irish accents

--My friends

--My Mommy

--Being outside at night

--attempting to skateboard

--Gymnastics

--Moshing

THE ENDD

ladi freaking da.

Crimson Lullaby: (And Illusion)

HEY GUYS! I am combining Crimson Lullaby and Illusion into one story, with the same plot as Crimson Lullaby previously had. I just decided that Illusion wasn't going to become a story in itself, so...yeah. Though I should just let you all know.

One Step From Nothing

(I'm completely changing the story from chapter five on. I haven't been updating because it's been pissing me off, a lot, and since now I've got enough time and am putting in enough effort, I'm fixing all the crap that I don't like. It sucks that I won't have as much of the story written, since I"m probably going to end up deleting the later chapters and re-writing them completely, but hey, I'll be inclined to update faster once I"m happy with whats already there.)

New Summary

(This is the summary that I came up with, but since I already posted the first chapter of the story, it's not on there. This part is where I came up with the name of the book. I'm quite proud of it, and very excited that I've finally got a title that I LOVE to death.)

She could feel nothing but the wind and the rain. The bitter, icy wind, violently whipping the long, winding tresses of curly raven hair into her expressionless face. The seemingly endless torrents of cool rain pelting her back and her tingling fingers, which were about to momentarily lose all sense of feeling, as was the rest of her violently shivering body.

Just one more unbearable minute, she knew, and she would feel nothing. Absolutely nothing at all.

But would it be a temporary numbness, spreading throughout her entire body, or would she be forever plunged into the deep, murky depths of eternal bliss and nothingness? It was her decision, and hers alone. No one could stop her. She was at the terrifying mercy of her own frantic, desperate notions.

She didn’t know. She stood on the edge of hurtling herself into the swirling, furious rapids which would do her wild bidding for her, if she allowed them to. They would sweep her away into their seemingly bottomless depths, giving her one last furious rush of petrifying exhilaration before oblivion came to claim her. Sweet oblivion, sweet death, where she would no longer feel such constant, agonizing pain.

Her eyes were closed, partially because she was becoming exceedingly afraid of what she might see looming so far below her, so close to heart. Upon a sudden, inexplicable notion, she opened them once again and stared off into the dark, starless night, obscured by torrents of pouring rain; the tears she could not cry.

Then she swept her gaze to the intense, uncontrolled falls below her, and like a gunshot being fired, the shocking, sudden, overpowering fear hit her as if she had had that same bullet fired right to the heart. Fear pumped through her veins like liquid fire, burning her from the inside out. The wind whipped at her face and the rain stung terribly, but she could not turn back yet. She needed to let this full impact hit her like nothing else. She needed to be so scared that she could no longer feel.

She didn’t want to feel, not anymore. She couldn’t handle it.

Shivers racked her body. She gripped the railing behind her so tightly she feared it might break off in her ever-grasping fingers. She glanced at her toes, already over the edge, and, for one final time, thought about herself promptly following suit…

"I’m one step from nothing," She whispered. "Just one step."

She closed her eyes once again, finding it hard to keep them open for the fear that annihilated anything else. Instead, she concentrated on the sensations she would no longer feel, ever again. The wind. The rain. Everything she was about to willingly give up.

She sighed. A shuddering, last sigh. "One step."

"No," A strong voice came from behind her and, startled as she was, Jayden could not peel her eyes off the breathtaking, terrible beauty of the waterfall and the horrendous act she was about to commit. "You’re two steps further than you should be."

BTW, When I get this published, this is what's going to be on the back of the book.