You deserve better
(A word about Take My Innocence and all of my fiction work as a whole)
There’s no easy way to start this, so I’m just going to put it all out there.
This story is not “me” anymore. It’s a part of myself that I’ve been holding onto for far too long with some sort of misguided self-centeredism. But I have to say, I truly appreciate how many of you have given me support over the past few years or months since this all began.
No matter how many times I revise this piece, it plays out like any other high school romance. I’ve never been happy with it, and it’s such a struggle for me to continue when there’s no love in it on my part. You deserve better than that. You deserve a better writer in general, a better me, a better story.
School and work have built up to the point where even if I wanted to release more chapters, normal updates would be impossible. I’ve been fighting depression and anxiety at levels I previously thought unreachable. And writing this isn’t a solace for me anymore.
So, I’m trying to learn to let things go, trying to change so that the little things don’t completely consume me. That means I’ve spent the last couple of days erasing this story from every place on the Internet. I can’t imagine removing every trace of this huge piece of my life like it never happened, but I think that’s what I have to do to move on.
That’s where you come in.
If any of you want to know anything about the story, if you want me to write a description of everything that happens from the end of the first installment to the end of the fourth, let me know. I can do that. If you need anything from me, like answers to any questions you have, don’t hesitate to ask. Just please don’t ask me for the old, unrevised chapters—they’re incomplete, amateur and scattered throughout my hard drive, and I have no desire for them to be seen ever again. Like I said, I’m not that person anymore.
I’m not leaving Tumblr—I’ll still be at myurl on tumblr. Also, if any of you want my Skype username, please let me know and we’ll chat.
I’m learning to write for me, now, not just what I think people want. I need to be in a better place, emotionally and mentally, before I can think about doing anything else.
Anyway, if you’ve read this far, I applaud you. Know that every message you’ve sent was received warmly. The knowledge that so many real, living, breathing people enjoyed my work still resides inside my heart. That’s something I’ll never forget. I love you all.
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