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Joined 02-23-07, id: 557984, Profile Updated: 11-03-13
Author has written 4 stories for Humor, Life, and Mystery.

"We could kill everbody!" ...
"So what'dya think?"...
"I'm strangely comfortable with it."
Boondock Saints

I am myself, and I am sure that I have always been. I've always been as old as myself, as tall as myself, and smart as myself. I sometimes disagree with myself, but that is a essential part of any good relationship, which is what I have with myself...I think. I also firmly believe that I should be in an Institution, or some safe place with padded walls, where the diversity and unexpectedness of the inner workings of my mind cannot harm innocent bystanders. This is one point that myself does not agree with me on, seeing as how myself is planning to take over the world someday, and feels that my being locked up would hinder myself in my quest for ultimate world domination. Which one of us happens to win this disagreement has yet to be seen. Until then, please enjoy knowing this about me, and if I were you, I'd run away from myself. But I can't, since I'm not you.

"There's really no difference between falling a thousand feet to the jagged rocks below and tumblin' out of bed. Except for the splat at the end they're pratically similar!" Tigger

I love writing. I love reading. I love God. I love building houses. I love cutting down trees. I love making cookies. I love my Sarah Bear(yes, she's real). I love looking at pictures. I love life. And I especially love reviews. They're awesomeness in a pickle jar. :)

"When I was young, I was the smallest and the weakest. They never let me play in all their halfing games like Throw the Rock, or Throw the Stick, or Throw the Rock and Then the Stick Shortly Thereafter." The Order of the Stick!

Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundry lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, surely I have a delightful inheritance. Psalm 16: 5-6

So, I'm sure you're all DYING to know about my life. Well, My dad and my oldest brother are carpenters, and they finished building my bro's house a while back. His wife had a baby boy at the end of January, and they've just recently moved into said finished house. My older sister also has a baby, and I sometimes babysit for her. My mom is a conference promoter/internet marketer/entrepreneur, and we have a conference coming up soon. We live out in the country, and I have a garden. :D I love gardening. I'm also the family cook...and there's nine people in my family right now, so that's really fun. :P My dad has cancer so we're supposed to be eating healthy, and I'm pretty much at my wits end trying to figure out how to make something that's both healthy AND tastes good! At the current moment my Dad two of my brothers are building a house for our cousin a couple hours from here. And I am in a play. It's taken a while to get underway, and we've had some setbacks, but I'm really hoping we can pull through, because I love acting. :D

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Jonnie the Girl by RedRogue55 reviews
Five boys, one dorm house. They needed a sixth to make rent, she needed a place to stay. Only, they thought Jonnie was a guy. Now she has to learn to live with their gross habits, and they have to live with tampons underneath the bathroom sink. JONNIE IS BEING RE-RELEASED CHAPTER BY CHAPTER TO PROMOTE NEW JONNIE WEBSERIES! Look for it this summer!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,807 - Reviews: 2885 - Favs: 1,636 - Follows: 811 - Updated: 2/23 - Published: 9/1/2007 - Complete
All Along by KNE reviews
Neely Donovan isn’t interested in the whole popularity ordeal considering that her twin brother was one of the hottest guys that attended their school. But falling for the most popular guyand her bro's best friend was the last thing on her mind.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 211,055 - Reviews: 4792 - Favs: 3,613 - Follows: 1,753 - Updated: 4/2/2012 - Published: 8/20/2004
The Difference Between You and Me by QueenofRoses reviews
Eryn wanted to play on the soccer team at her school. Dom wants to make sure that no girl, especially THAT girl makes it on his team. Can't they all just get along? What kind of story would that be?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 52 - Words: 263,243 - Reviews: 1064 - Favs: 722 - Follows: 299 - Updated: 1/2/2011 - Published: 7/14/2006 - Complete
I'll Be Here Awhile by Christy Leigh Stewart reviews
All good relationships are built on trust, so I'm thinking outside the box and just liying to you- Two strangers, Anna and Warren, become sudden roommates due to Warren's sudden, tragic, and concocted amnesia.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 45,239 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 1/5/2010 - Published: 2/16/2008 - Complete
Relatively Married by jeepers09 reviews
When their parents die suddenly, step-siblings Luke and Katie have to join forces to keep 17-year-old Katie out of foster care. So she agrees to Luke's crazy plan and for the next 9 months they're man and wife. Maybe they'll even start to like each other.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 25,820 - Reviews: 159 - Favs: 254 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 9/2/2009 - Published: 8/23/2009 - Complete
Fortunate by Phoenix-ofthe-Goldenrose reviews
I hated my life, so I followed the advice of a fortune cookie. I guess you could say things started to look up, except my boyfriend, who thinks I'm a terrier or something, didn't think it was so great. Patrick understood, and he was interested...in me.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 23,252 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 7/3/2009 - Published: 8/13/2008
They Call it a Cliché by angels and effects reviews
REMOVED. So he's my twin brother's best friend. The supposedly hot one who gets the girls while I hang out with the loud mouthed, all round idolized jocks of the school. Then he kisses me one night... wait, WHAT?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 2,334 - Reviews: 4210 - Favs: 2,138 - Follows: 1,025 - Updated: 6/3/2009 - Published: 8/30/2006 - Complete
Free Fallin' by no.puedo.vivir.sin.ti reviews
Devan McCoy could get any girl he wanted, and any that didn't want him, no matter how bad his attitude was. When Devan's life starts to fall apart, he has only one person he can turn to, but is she willing to help? Can her view of him really change?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 214,917 - Reviews: 504 - Favs: 328 - Follows: 276 - Updated: 3/16/2009 - Published: 10/25/2006
Red Violet OLD by lucretiabaine reviews
Alexander Little is a self loathing mall Goth who wants to end it all. An adorable cake baking girl and a flamboyant, snobby rich boy with rainbow hair will change this. Eventually. Go read the new version instead.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,466 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 1/5/2009 - Published: 3/26/2005 - Complete
The Matchmaker by StormDancer reviews
It is said that if you put your name in locker 420, the Matchmaker will find you your perfect match. So what happens when the arrogant spoiled brat is captivated and the matchmaker meets her match?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 137,441 - Reviews: 3434 - Favs: 3,967 - Follows: 1,386 - Updated: 8/19/2008 - Published: 11/3/2006 - Complete
Bain of My Existence: Ride Wild by thelovinspoonful reviews
The daughter of a wealthy farmer, Sandy is expected to be the town's little princess. But what if she doesn't want to be? What if she wants to ride horses, climb trees, and scrape up her knees like the boys instead?
Fiction: Western - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 67,005 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 7/22/2008 - Published: 6/8/2006
Reflections by Amethyst Asheryn reviews
Unknowingly caught in a spirit's war, Tatjana Benom is seeing images of people in her mirror--people who all die the next day. Terrified at the correlation between bodies and images, Tatjana fights to figure it all out before she, too, becomes a casualty.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 13 - Words: 36,011 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/28/2008 - Published: 5/12/2008 - Complete
The Sooner the Better by Dart Gray reviews
The Rednecks kids at college...good times!
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,137 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 5/16/2008 - Published: 1/11/2007 - Complete
The Bluest Eyes by Vivian Locke reviews
Matthew Braun has spent his entire university career building his reputation as the main playboy on campus. That is until his friends bet him 500 dollars that he could never get the most stuckup bookworm, Rayne Johnson, to spend a night with him.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 71,547 - Reviews: 640 - Favs: 1,035 - Follows: 287 - Updated: 9/8/2007 - Published: 4/21/2007 - Complete
Not Your Average Family by Alexander Weaton reviews
Another boring day. Another day of homicidal parents, insane syblings and mad scientists. With a life like this, who needs TV?
Fiction: Action - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,261 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/28/2007 - Complete
Rain or Shine by angels and effects reviews
REMOVED. SKoW challenge response. A boy who can't speak, a little girl determined to read his soul and a pink hair ribbon can add up to so many things... including love.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 191 - Follows: 12 - Published: 5/16/2007 - Complete
Island Olivier by elisefey reviews
What: Stranded. When: One screwed up summer vacation. Where: A deserted Island. How: Long story. Who: Me. And that guy who doesn’t really count because at this rate I’m gonna kill the jerk before we ever get rescued...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 30,956 - Reviews: 367 - Favs: 606 - Follows: 128 - Updated: 4/6/2007 - Published: 8/21/2006 - Complete
Go with the tide by Elianah reviews
A beautiful coming of age story of two eighthgraders. Okay, not so beautiful. And no coming of age. But it IS a story about two eighth graders, though. What's not to love? KT because of langauge.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,391 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/4/2007 - Complete
How to Write a Summary by angels and effects reviews
You sit there, boggling your brains out, but you just can't seem to conjure up the words for that dear summary of yours. No one ever said essays had to be stuffy! Revised.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,215 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/19/2006 - Complete
I've Never Been to Heaven by Dart Gray reviews
Another summer in Clearwater, another summer with Tucker...another summer full of drama? I think so.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 19,634 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/9/2006 - Published: 7/22/2006 - Complete
Rednecks Drink Dr Pepper by Dart Gray reviews
My summer in an Oklahoma hick town looked pretty boring.. until I was caught with my shirt off.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 32,021 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 6/26/2006 - Published: 5/27/2006 - Complete
Virgin Lips by RootbeerFloat reviews
For those who have never been kissed.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 210 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Published: 8/19/2005
The Girl Who Couldn't Cry by dewinged reviews
It was a medical condition, and she had it since birth. This was guaranteed to make her life living hell, for she had before her an entire school of children who were out to see her tears.
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,566 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/21/2003 - Published: 5/11/2003
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The Mysterious Murder of Freddie Duvall reviews
She flung open the drapes letting in a stream of sunshine, and turned around. She froze in her tracks not at all prepared for what she saw. It wasn't...It couldn't be...There was no way...
Fiction: Mystery - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,738 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 11/27/2007 - Published: 7/24/2007 - Complete
Some Days are just Good Days reviews
Take a walk with me through the first few minutes of this resplendant day. I guarentee it's not what you were expecting.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,419 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/8/2007 - Complete
Rebel to Society reviews
A poem I wrote a long time ago about peers.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 292 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/29/2007 - Complete
Metal Banana Pie is Special reviews
Evil but cool flying sheep, fair damsels, crazy girl, evil knight, spamburgers...can't get much better, can it? When Alex's brother Bob is kidnapped...er...Bobnapped...what will lengths will Alex go to to bring his brother back? Oneshot.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,036 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 4/5/2007 - Complete