Robert Orville Berkshirehide bio
Author has written 30 stories for Sci-Fi, General, Life, Politics, General, Humor, Essay, and Love. I am a surrealist. Take a Dali painting, turn it into words, throw in a bit of Oscar Wilde, Friedrich Nietzsche, and Stephen King, and the result is my work. I like horror a lot, but can't write it well; ditto for sci-fi. I incorporate symbolism into my work heavily, so usually the surrealism can be deconstructed when looked at from the proper perspective. As of 31-3-12, I am officially back on Fictionpress, and would be more than happy to help any aspiring authors who request my help.
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Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
The unOfficial Fictionpress Drinking Game by Charming Dice reviews
This place make you thirsty, my friends? Read this. It'll give you an excuse to get smashed.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 707 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/31/2010 - Complete
On Shakespeare by SirNotAppearingInThisFilm reviews
Just a little ditty I wrote. A contrast between my writing and that of Shakespeare.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 227 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/26/2010 - Complete
Realism by MetalSeraph reviews
Had this floating around for a while and finally decided to put it to use.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 71 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/15/2010 - Complete
Those Who are Happy, Live, Those Who aren't, Write by Hotaru Gunso reviews
My insight regarding this simple theory I came up with. Not intended to offend anyone here. I apologize if otherwise. Slight angst.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,670 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/8/2010 - Published: 6/25/2009
Any landing you can walk away from is a good one by nickyO reviews
For all the awkward angels in my life.
Poetry: Friendship - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 65 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/8/2010 - Complete
The Internet by Lady Helena reviews
A discursive essay on the pros and cons of the internet that I wrote for my English class. Please read; I'd love some feedback.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,972 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/6/2010 - Complete
Simple Solution by Nick Ransom reviews
Isn't it funny how things make so much sense only when you're already knee deep in them?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 238 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/31/2010 - Complete
Why Women Are More Powerful by Ameera Mae Laramie reviews
My entry to the second annunal 2009 Zelda Universe Gender War Essay Dispute for the ladies side. A SATIRE piece, focusing on the strengths a women has gained over the years.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 964 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/30/2010 - Complete
Web by BewilderedTeapot reviews
Girls can be deceptive.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/25/2010
Closed Mind, Open Mouth, Let's Begin by jesusfreak100percent reviews
About those types of arguments where neither side is willing to admit they're wrong. Comes from personal experience - I'm very stubborn.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/18/2010 - Complete
Haud yer wheesht the noo! by BewilderedTeapot reviews
Lang may yer lum reek.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 27 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/18/2010 - Complete
Only You by Nick Ransom reviews
It all goes back to the same jackass.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 155 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/14/2010 - Complete
Harry Potter and Religion: Moral debates by BookObsesserNumberOne reviews
Harry Potter, to this day, remains a heated debate in the religious department. Who's saying what and why? In this essay, I will address some of the debates. Rated K because of moral issues.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,228 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/14/2010 - Complete
Why Pop Philosophy is Dumb: On Neutral Criticism by No Trust reviews
I intend to set all you dumb-dumbs straight on several pet peeve topics that tend to pop up in popular philosophical debates: Patriotism, Faith, Centrism, Extremism, to name a few. First up: Moral relativism and knowing what the hell you are talking about
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,356 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 5/9/2010 - Published: 3/29/2010
Panties and No Bra by blairbear reviews
Diary of an addict.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 453 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/5/2010 - Complete
Different Life by Hurricane-Bringer reviews
A woman's fulfillment of a very different kind.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 862 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/5/2010 - Complete
Self Portrait by Nick Ransom reviews
I got thinking, stuck on some stupid things some stupid people have said. My reaction, I'm very happy with.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 262 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/28/2010 - Complete
Rude by Blayne reviews
A man and a woman watch each other.
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 901 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/8/2010 - Complete
The Declining Quality of Romance Stories by brambleberry reviews
An essay on my views of romance stories submitted on popular websites.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,067 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/10/2009 - Complete
Ashes by K.G. Evans reviews
“Remember the sign at my old bakery? …Chocolate is a dessert for lovers… But…in your case…well…let’s see how much you like it in a few minutes. You did say you liked my cake…enough that if it was your last food you could die happy?”
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,077 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/22/2007 - Complete
Things That Go Bump In The Night by Yume536 reviews
That chill down your spine. That feeling of eyes boring into your neck. The slow 'scrape, scrape, scrap' of something across the floor. It's all horrifying, isn't it? One shot
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,245 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/11/2007 - Complete
Drink by WhatIAmSeeking reviews
Musings on drinking
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 66 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/28/2006
Lady Suicide by Dharma Wild reviews
Lady Suicide
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 184 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/30/2005
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
Merder
A highly-symbolic tale of a father and son going fishing.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 799 - Published: 3/21/2013 - Complete
Chinaski's Success reviews
Was reading some Bukowski, started to compare myself to him. Now we have this piece of shit.
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 78 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5/29/2012 - Complete
The Sanguine Dwarf
A magical, lonely dwarf dies in a fire. Inspired by my inability to form a healthy relationship with the opposite sex.
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,730 - Published: 5/23/2012 - Complete
Ole Yeller Feeling Blue reviews
Written about a night in which I went out into public to see a girl I like, only to end up disappointed.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 95 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/31/2012 - Complete
Not About Coitus reviews
A poem about sexuality, my discomfort with it, and how it pertains to my love life. The title is, of course, a misnomer.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 97 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/31/2012 - Complete
Tanka Tango reviews
A tanka, refrain, then another tanka. Written as a response to the film "Taking Chance" for a creative writing class, it's merely a reflection on my then-inability to write frequently because I'm such a cynical guy.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 60 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/31/2012 - Complete
PENIS! reviews
So titled because I felt like a dick for writing it. This is a sort of anti-love poem, in which I try to reject a crush I had and have. Obviously, the poem failed in that regard, but I hope it may still prove entertaining.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 92 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3/31/2012 - Complete
Newbery Medal Syndrome reviews
A brief, surreal piece that I did for a creative writing class. Thematically, it's about finding the value of life. Literally, it's about a boy and his dog.
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 859 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3/31/2012 - Complete
The Ferris Wheel reviews
About my habits, both in life and writing.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 43 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/8/2010 - Complete
Uncle Bob reviews
A story about a cool guy with a dead-pan smile who comes to visit his nephew; lulz ensue.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 171 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/17/2010 - Complete
Infection Film Review and Analysis reviews
Reviewing the Japanese horror film "Infection" in as pretentious a way as possible.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,027 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 5/15/2010 - Complete
The German Girl reviews
A series of jokes about me being a douche who likes violence more than the typical American.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 51 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5/15/2010 - Complete
Step Four reviews
A series of exaggerated anecdotes written with the steretoypical "growing up to become your abusive parents" backdrop.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 305 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5/12/2010 - Complete
The Funeral reviews
A funeral, the funeral, it glistens either way.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 132 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5/12/2010 - Complete
Rejection
Those that are leery of the Hedgehog's Dilemma will know exactly what this was written about.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 28 - Published: 5/10/2010 - Complete
Too Small For Primetime
Describing an event that happened a week ago, and my thoughts on it.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 149 - Published: 5/10/2010 - Complete
Women reviews
A series of short stories, all violently depicting my love and hatred for the charming opposite sex.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,795 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/6/2010 - Published: 10/9/2009
Jack's First Job The Killer Is Born reviews
An 18-line poem, which places Jack the Ripper in a contemporary setting.
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5/5/2010 - Complete
Demo Reels reviews
A short story criticizing American consumerism, Hollywood, politics, religion and everything in-between. Told in film format, it details the assassination of the president.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,179 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/5/2010 - Complete
Media Martyr reviews
A 7-line spoken-word, joking about religion and popularity.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 40 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/5/2010 - Complete
The Vision of Adolescence reviews
A 19-line poem paraphrasing some of the wonderful things I've heard from my peers.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/29/2010 - Complete
The Office God reviews
A 21-line poem, cracking jokes about corporate existence.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 95 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/29/2010 - Complete
Strange Tastes in Women
An eight-line poem of no importance.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 23 - Published: 4/29/2010 - Complete
Somatic Expression reviews
A four-line poem describing my views of drugs and the reasons they're taken and hated in an abstract, pun-laden style.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 26 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/8/2010 - Complete
Spitting Image reviews
A 15-line poem describing my relationship with or perspective of my late father.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 74 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4/8/2010 - Complete
Broken Ballerina reviews
A seven-line poem describing a sort of fantasy. You could call it a love poem, but I call it a hormonal expression.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 26 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/8/2010 - Complete
pILLs reviews
A brief allegory about anti-depressants.
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 597 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12/20/2008 - Complete
Model Behavior
A short piece on television and superficiality. In a dystopian future, television and fiction are the main sources of entertainment; Model Behavior, a model-fighting program, is dominant. T for violence, language, themes.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 959 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Complete
Playing War
Inspired by a scene in the novel "The Giver", about war, and children's innocence and ignorance.. T for its theme.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 391 - Published: 12/16/2008 - Complete
Somatopia reviews
Inspired by Brave New World; a philosophical short story involving the horrors of a loner, hedonistic lifestyle. Review and I'll review! Not my best work; I need to write more. T for themes.
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,416 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/10/2008 - Complete
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