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Joined 04-08-07, id: 563306, Profile Updated: 01-06-09
Author has written 7 stories for School, Politics, Life, Biography, Humor, and Spiritual.

Previously just another random.

About Me

Answers to: Susie/Susan (reluctantly)/Sooz.

Age: 16

Hair: Yes.

Eyes: Two.

Country: Scotland. We have rain, Irn Bru, marmalade and David Tennant. Nice!

Other Stuff

I'm in my sixth and final year of secondary school, which is terrifying. I don't want to leave! The real world scares me. But I'm applying to universities to do English, so I get to spend the next four years reading books. Nice!

I'm a music geek. I play clarinet, which is basically the coolest thing ever (disagree? most people do, but they're all WRONG). I also play piano and percussion and I'm learning guitar and ukelele. I sing too, but very badly.

I have an account on as well ( ) where I have several lovely fics if you feel like reading them.

The Seven Wonders Of MY World...

1. Books. I love books. I love reading them, love writing about them, love talking about them. I want to work in publishing so i can work with them. It's an obsession.

2. Upbeat music. Music that puts you in a good mood just makes me grin madly. Noah and the Whale. Streetlight Manifesto. Vampire Weekend. The Kinks. I just love to dance (and by dance i mean wave my arms about in a slightly dangerous fashion) to fun songs.

3. Comedy. Stand ups make life worth living. No shit. Dara O Brian, Russel Howard, Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, Ed Byrne, Michael McIntyre, Adam Hills, Tim Minchin, Bill Bailey, Dylan Moran, Eddie Izzard... the list goes on forever. I'm British, and, as such, love British humour (I defy anyone to not love Monty Python).

4. Batman. Is that sad? That's sad. I haven't even read the comics. I just love the villains (espcially the Riddler) and have spent that past month begging people to buy me a batman tshirt for Christmas. I didn't get one.

5. Evil Iguana Productions. These guys are hilarious. 6 (or 7 now, I'm not sure) guys, plue friends, who make amateur (but professional standard) films on youtube. Mostly spoofs and stuff. They're geniuses - check them out!

6. Immaturity. And I don't mean toilet humour. I mean truly, genuinely acting like an 8-year old. At times. Playing hide and seek in school, singing Christmas carols at the top of your lungs, giggling, skipping instead of walking, letting your limbs fly everywhere when you run, getting really, really into films... It's liberating. Try it.

7. Parma Violets. I love their smell. Retro sweets rock.

And 7 Things That Suck.

1. Onions. I don't know why. I just hate them. Ew.

2. Essays. Where do they come from. I have SO many to write these days!

3. Emotional blackmail. If I get one more email trying to make me feel guilty for eating food when there's starving kids in Africa, I'm going to start swinging punches.

4. Mary Sues. Characters that are perfect, or based on the author. coughbella swan cough. They irritate me.

5. High School Fecking Musical. It's everywhere. It's taking over the world. It's taking over children's minds. (Along with its sidekick Hanna Montana). A kid asked me who paddington was today! I blame HSM!

6. Death of Woolworths. Is that a British thing? I think it is. But I'm gutted it's gone. I loved Woolies. 3 words. Pic n mix. I used to go there every Saturday to waste time and harass the staff. We're all at a loose end on Saturdays now.

7. Beige. It's not a real colour. It's just ick.

The Top Ten Greatest Songs Ever (For this month...)

1. Somewhere in the Between - Streetlight Manifesto.

2. If You're Into It - Flight of the Conchords.

3. Paper Planes - M.I.A.

4. Ra Ra Roland - The Metros.

5. Lola - The Kinks.

6. Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley version.

7. 5 Years' Time - Noah and the Whale.

8. Walcott - Vampire Weekend.

9. You're So Vain - Carly Simon.

10. Teenage Kicks - Undertones.


~~ "I went camping once, and got into an argument with a girl friend in the tent. This is a really bad place to get in an argument, because I walked out and attempted to "slam the flap." How are you supposed to express your anger in this type of situation? Zipper it up really quick?" ~ Mitch Hedberg

~~"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is." ~ Ellen Degeneres

~~"If you're going to criticize someone, first walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you critisize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes." ~ The Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants

~~"I think, instead of cancelling debt, Africa should ignore debt. They should just say fuck off! What're we going to do? Repossess Africa?" ~ Jo Brand

~~"I think transvestites woud be great in the army! We all know that the main element of attack is the element of surprise. Well, what would be more surprising than the first battallion transvestive brigade paratrooping into dangerous territory with FANTASTIC makeup... and a FANTASTIC gun..." ~ Eddie Izzard

~~ "What's that, Joker? You'll be back? Somehow, I don't think so..." ~ Frankie Boyle.

And That's It

If yu've got this far, you clearly have a very long attention span. Or just no life. Either way, congratulations.

Please review my stories and poems. Who knows? I may review yours. If I like them.


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Random Muses From A Deranged Mind: AZ reviews
This is a lovely insight into the workings of my mind. I basically choose a topic for every letter of the alphabet and write down whatever comes into my head. It's like a retarded ad lib. Read and enjoy or be scarred for life! Rated for swearing
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,815 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/23/2008 - Published: 2/6/2008
Kenny reviews
A VERY short little 5-minute oneshot about a soldier's death. You can decide what war/warzone he/she was in.
Fiction: Spiritual - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 633 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5/7/2008 - Complete
Remember? reviews
A poem about bullying, and looking back on bad experiences.
Poetry: School - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 143 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9/26/2007 - Complete
Just Like Capone reviews
Ashley Warren seems like just a cocky, arrogant thug. He's facing death row aged only 18, and seems to show no remorse for anything he's done. But nobody knows about his life before he went onto the streets.
Fiction: Biography - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,383 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/27/2007 - Published: 5/13/2007
I Can't Write A Poem reviews
Just something I wrote the other day about my poetry skills or lack thereof.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 116 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/13/2007 - Complete
Open Your Eyes reviews
About human suffering, and how people don't notice. Written 2 years ago.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 228 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4/16/2007 - Complete
And Then There's Jessica reviews
Just something I wrote a few years ago about people that don't fit in.
Poetry: School - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 84 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/16/2007 - Complete