Blissfully Sarcastic
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Joined 05-12-07, id: 567411, Profile Updated: 03-19-09
Author has written 66 stories for General, Humor, Love, Life, General, Humor, Romance, Fantasy, Family, Song, Young Adult, Fantasy, War, and Friendship.

Hm. I decided to take this account out of retirement.

Why?
BECAUSE I SAID SO, YOU STUPID BI--ClearsThroat
No, but really, I'm finally able to write again. Writers block is a thing of the past!

I know most of my old readers on here probably won't remember me or probably don't care, but. Meh. I decided, "Hell, why not?!"
So here I am! Be excited. Or, er, disgusted. Either one would probably be fitting for the current situation.


I'm not one of those writers who will flame your criticism; I'm the one who will usually take your advice, seeing as I know that I don't know everything. I'm willing to admit it, too. I'm not the smartest person in the world and I make mistakes like everyone else does. I'd scream it to you, too, but I doubt you could hear it through the computer screen. I love criticism. I care that you hate a piece (not in the way that I'll be hurt, but in the way where I want to know what you're thinking), I'd just rather know why you hated said piece so I know not to do it again. I actually prefer that you hate it, I love when you hate it, that why you can give me something to work off of. I also love that you love it, as long as you tell me why you loved it so much so I can repeat it.

If you just post "YOU SUCK," or "I LOVE YOU," I might have to handcuff you to a lightening rod and wait for the next thunder storm. (Not that I've done that to anyone...yet.) Little pet peeve of mine. Okay, okay. It's a big pet peeve of mine.

Now that you know what I do on this site, here's a little background information about myself.

My name's Kristen; I'm fifteen, my birthday was June second. (Here's the part where you gasp and think of how inappropriate I am for my age.) As my name says, I tend to be sarcastic sometimes. I'm a girl and, no, I don't always write in a girl's point of view like most girls do. I do admit, though, that I do write in a girl's point of view most of the time. Not because I am one, just because it's a little habit of mine. I write mostly because I have nothing better to do (yes, I am a loser, thanks for asking); not because I'm good and want to wave it in your face. I actually don't think I'd fall anywhere higher than a "decent" on the writing scale. I play the keyboard, sing, and swim a lot. I like most types of music; most bands are okay for me to listen to. (Not that that's relevant to anything, really. Just thought I'd throw it in there to waste some space.)

All right, all done. Oh, by the way, don't take any of my reviews personally if they say something negative about your work. I'm highly opinionated, and will say what I mean (two words: breath mint). If I've offended you in anyway, feel free to drop me a message saying so.

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Untitled, which is a lie, 'cause here it is by Samurai-Soldier reviews
I was bored, and made this up on the fly, and then posted it...not a whole lot of anything special in it!
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 158 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/17/2009 - Complete
Extraordinary by simpleplan13 reviews
He wants me to be extraordinary, but I can't. Constructive criticism is as always appreciated.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 156 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 7 - Published: 7/19/2008
My Prayer of Heaven's Curse by SEMMU reviews
No worries, I'm just venting. I don't think I'll hurt anyone. This is a free verse poem describing what my prayer would be on a bad day. Actually, I'm not even sure if it's free verse, more of a poetic
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 277 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/26/2008
A Lullaby by Tranquil Thorns reviews
May the gray clouds of darkness quickly depart...
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 143 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 8 - Updated: 3/9/2008 - Published: 4/30/2007 - Complete
Dragon, Maiden, Knight, Et Cetera by Unbeknownst reviews
Dragons, maidens, knights, et cetera. A metacritical look at the archetypical fantasy story.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,437 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Published: 1/21/2008 - Complete
Better Than Happily Never After by Princess-anna57 reviews
This poem means so much to me, and I was hesitant to post it, but well, here it is. It is a family and life poem.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 270 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/6/2007
The Dark Poets by Ironic Presence reviews
Chesterton says that any decent artist can portray Hell, pain, misery, and depression well... the better ones can hardly describe ten minutes of eternal bliss. Darkness is vanity. Light is toilsome. Which side will you write for?
Poetry: War - Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 234 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/20/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Revelation reviews
I didn't know whether to put this under Love or Life, so this will work. Tell me what you think?
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 382 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3/19/2009 - Complete
The ModernDay Fairytale reviews
Because hallucinogens are just so fun?
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 143 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/19/2009 - Complete
Planetary Revolution reviews
I suppose this would fit in this category. The whole poem was the after-effects of a super bomb, so if you know where it'd fit better, that'd be greatly appreciated. Tell me what you think?
Poetry: War - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 187 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/19/2009 - Complete
Crumbling reviews
I haven't posted anything for a long while; I'm sorry. I'm in a writer's block; everything I write is horrible. This song's actually decent. It's kind of half fictional story and half philosophically based.
Poetry: Song - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 182 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9/18/2008 - Complete
Pebble reviews
Sorry I haven't been uploading. I've been on writer's block and most of what I'm writing is horrible. Sorry.
Poetry: Friendship - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 173 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/5/2008 - Complete
The Summers Are Here reviews
Well, here I am again, wondering if I should delete this story or not. Critiques are good, as are general opinions in this case. There's not much I can tell you about the poem without giving anything away, though.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 307 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/28/2008 - Complete
Willow reviews
It's written as a song, but you don't know the beat, so you can just read it as a poem. It's about getting over a loss. Again, I'm sorry for not posting in a while.
Poetry: Song - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 231 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6/21/2008 - Complete
Johnny
Tell me what you think. Sorry I haven't been posting.
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 626 - Published: 6/21/2008
Butterfly Kisses reviews
Yup, men are scumbags. Sorry for not posting in a while.
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 97 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 6/21/2008 - Complete
White Kittens in Little Dressings
I'll write up a summary later. Tell me what you think. Sorry for not posting in a while, check my bio for descriptions.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 237 - Published: 6/21/2008 - Complete
The Simply Beautiful Poem
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder." That's really what I was going for here. Again, sorry for not posting recently. Details in my bio, first paragraph.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 269 - Published: 6/21/2008 - Complete
Man and Woman reviews
This is the title for right now, for lack of a better one. If you have an idea, please tell me. Sorry for not posting in a while, I've been busy, there are details in my bio.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,354 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/21/2008 - Complete
The Bird and Flower reviews
Another Holocaust poem that I wrote in class. I think it's pretty good. Opinions?
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 63 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Complete
Tombstone reviews
A story about death, obviously.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 54 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Complete
Uncivil War reviews
A story about the American Civil War...or any civil war, for that matter.
Poetry: War - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 144 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4/1/2008 - Complete
Little Black Bird reviews
A poem about slavery. I'm getting out of my writer's block, so I'll be able to write more, hopefully. Anyways, opinions please?
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4/1/2008 - Complete
Sky of Faded Smoke reviews
Out of all of the Holocaust poems I've written recently, I think this is my favorite. Opinions, please?
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 195 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3/31/2008 - Complete
Send Your Thank You reviews
Yet another Holocaust poem. How many am I going to write? I have no idea. Opinions please?
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 133 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/18/2008 - Complete
Ironic reviews
Another Holocaust poem I wrote while in school. I have too much free time on my hands in class. Heh. Anywho, opinions?
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 182 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3/18/2008 - Complete
The Truck reviews
A short Holocaust story I wrote in class.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 33 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3/12/2008 - Complete
Cyclops No Longer reviews
Sorry I haven't been posting often. I'm in a writer's block...again. It stinks. Anyways, here's a little something I typed up.
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 167 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/10/2008 - Complete
Black and White, Black and White reviews
I'm sorry that I haven't uploaded anything, other than this, in a while, everyone. And I'll think up a summary later, for the title is pretty self-explanatory.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 2/23/2008 - Complete
The Birth of a Monster reviews
Natalie Smith, young and smart, could have done anything with her life. This is the path she chose, clinging to every sweet word her master utters, hoping that one day she will become as beautiful a beast as he is, was obviously not the right one.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,972 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/10/2008 - Published: 11/3/2007
Little Faces, Happy Places reviews
And All the Debts that have been Repaid [The title got cut off, and that's the end of the it.] Twisted little song for my twisted little readers. Gets a tad bit graphic, but it doesn't really describe WHAT he does.
Poetry: Song - Rated: M - English - Horror/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 340 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1/26/2008 - Complete
He Smiled Like He Meant It reviews
[I'll put a summary up later. Can't think of one now.]
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 462 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 1/24/2008 - Complete
Reunion of Sorts reviews
Twisted little poem I thought up while having nothing better to do in school. [Yes, I thought it up in school. Weird, I know, but I never claimed normalcy.]
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 183 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 1/10/2008 - Complete
Not a Problem reviews
Ah, can you tell I’m not much of a lover here? Ha.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 61 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/4/2008 - Complete
Monster In The Basement reviews
Another song. Tell me how badly it stinks.
Poetry: Song - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 157 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12/22/2007 - Complete
Staining Roses reviews
About a person who has lost her lover.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 60 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12/22/2007 - Complete
A Little Piece of Reality for ya reviews
Please keep in mind, I'm not expecting this to be very good. I haven't written a rhyming poem in a long while, and even then it wasn't any good, nor was it as hard as a song is. Curious to see how it turns out.
Poetry: Song - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 260 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12/22/2007 - Complete
Lost Senses reviews
Just a story I wrote in school when I was bored.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 120 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12/10/2007 - Complete
Dear Daddy reviews
A child writting to her father who has died.
Poetry: Family - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 150 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 12/9/2007 - Complete
The Dollhouse Theory reviews
I haven't written a short story in a long while, so here I am. About a girl telling how her life is like a dollhouse.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 352 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12/8/2007 - Complete
Sticks And Stones reviews
Simple poem about words and what they can do.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 69 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12/8/2007 - Complete
MommyDaddy Time reviews
Still trying to get out of this writer's block.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 204 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12/8/2007 - Complete
When Darkness Fights Back reviews
It's going to be a long poem of sorts, if I do decide to keep it going. I'd really like opinions on it so I know whether to keep it, trash it, edit it.
Poetry: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 393 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12/7/2007
Emotional reviews
Still trying to get out of my writers block and failing at personification, but what else is new?
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 109 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12/6/2007 - Complete
Seasons reviews
We were talking about winters and springs in English earlier this year, what they meant metaphorically and the like. Just thought I'd give it a whirl.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 129 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12/5/2007 - Complete
English? reviews
About how mean and confusing the English language is. [I was bored. Sue me.]
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 71 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/4/2007 - Complete
The Voices reviews
About a crazy person in confinements talking about the voices in his or her head.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Drama/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 165 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11/2/2007 - Complete
Paint My Heart Black reviews
Still working on a summary, seeing as the title is pretty self explanatory.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Drama/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 205 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/25/2007 - Complete
Dollhouse
Yet another one of my stories where a character is grieving, kind of, over a loss.
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 561 - Published: 10/23/2007 - Complete
Bloodied Hands and Distorted Alibis reviews
Just a little poem I wrote for no reason in particular. Hope you like it. By the way, if I wasn't bad enough for you in first person, you're going to love me in second person.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 131 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/23/2007 - Complete
I'll Send my Heart to You reviews
Title pretty much explains itself.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 152 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/23/2007 - Complete
Just Sleeping reviews
Seeing as I haven't been writing in a little kid's perspective in a long while, I decided to write this. It's about a girl who wants to her dad to wake up.
Poetry: Family - Rated: K - English - Drama/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 127 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 10/23/2007 - Complete
She's the Reason reviews
A story about how a guy killed himself over a girl and the story behind it. I'm having trouble with a title here. Help me out?
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/22/2007 - Complete
Little Love Letter reviews
I couldn't think of anything and I was getting tired of poems, so I wrote a little letter. It's not my best, but it's not my worst either.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 404 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/22/2007 - Complete
Can I be the Girl this Time? reviews
An almost sequel to Can I be the Guy this Time?. I just didn't want to favor one gender.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 149 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/22/2007 - Complete
Movie Stars reviews
Make way for the most pointless song, if you could call it a song, ever. Thank you, thank you. Hold your applause.
Poetry: Song - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 213 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/20/2007 - Complete
Writer's Block reviews
What a weird name you have.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 128 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/18/2007 - Complete
I'll be the Guy this Time reviews
I'm tired of being a girl. Why don't I be the guy? Just this once.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 153 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 7 - Published: 10/18/2007 - Complete
Mother reviews
Leave me alone. You will never understand. Sorry in advance for my language. I cursed. A lot. Oops.
Poetry: Family - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 248 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/18/2007 - Complete
I'll Miss You reviews
Not that you care anymore.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 191 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/18/2007 - Complete
I Cannot Love Again reviews
What abusive relationships do to the victim once they are over.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 144 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/17/2007 - Complete
Living a Nightmare reviews
Will this Hellhole ever end?
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 218 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10/17/2007 - Complete
Cassee the Crazy reviews
I am Cassee the Crazy. Bow before me if you want to keep your sanity.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 440 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/15/2007 - Complete
I'm Standing reviews
And you decide my fate.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 119 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10/13/2007 - Complete
Smile reviews
You're dying. Smile.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 143 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10/13/2007 - Complete
Broken Hearts and Wilted Roses reviews
This is the first short story that I've written in a long while that was even close to decent. Finally! Anyways, it's about a girl whose boyfriend left her, leaving only twelve roses as a 'parting gift.'
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 437 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/3/2007 - Complete
A Lonely Muffin reviews
All of the introductions of fairy tales I could think of, crammed into one story and lengthened a bit. Just goes to show you why I hate when books do things like that.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 192 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9/30/2007 - Complete
What if people were reviews
A bunch of what ifs with random office supplies. Ha, ha. I'm having major title trouble here. Help me if you can please?
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 127 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/30/2007 - Complete
Monster Living With Me reviews
I wrote it when I was mad at my something...I won't say who because it'll give away the ending. I'm over it now, but this helped out a lot. It was written in a child's eyes, or it was supposed to sound like it was anyway.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 98 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9/30/2007 - Complete
Mother's Voice reviews
It's about a child who has lost her Mum. Meh, it's old. I found it, patched it up, and here it is.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 242 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/25/2007 - Complete
Don't Tell Me reviews
About a guy who is cheating on a girl. The girl knows, though she really doesn't much seem to care. Mehhhh.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 175 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/25/2007 - Complete
Untitled Document reviews
Probably one of the most random and completely pointless works of poetry out there...Please hold your applause.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 123 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9/25/2007 - Complete
Not Named Yet reviews
It's hard to type up a summary or name a piece like this without giving too much away. Help?
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 354 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8/29/2007 - Complete