Loly Darko
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Joined 06-17-07, id: 571702, Profile Updated: 09-04-10
Author has written 10 stories for Romance, General, Humor, and Young Adult.

Boiling Blood Puddles
for personal info, I like cats
there's always a cat
or a kitten

Complete: Dear Imagination & Just Like a Fruitcake
Hiatus/Editing: Doing the Doodie Work & Duties of the Double Dog
Nameless Story
is a collaboration with other FP user NEStitch. I kind of suck and haven't updated my end yet...
Eh...my fp LiveJournal. Check it out if you dare. If you add me, ID yourself so I know you're not a "stranger."
If someone tells you that they're me or that what is here is what they wrote, they are lying.
Killing Kevin -> Won't be updated regularly.
Don't leave me useless reviews. Please. If what you're going to say is something asinine please refrain.
And Twilight sucks. Hardcore. It sucks big fat man titties. And it seems like I'm kidding but I'm not. If you really like Twilight and have mentioned it in your profile, please do me the favor of not favoriting me or my story. I'd rather not be seen on the favorites list of a Twilight fan.
Repeat: Do not favorite me or my stuff if you have Twilight mentioned in your profile.

Some stories have been replaced with a beautiful French quote; if you were reading them, I'm really sorry. I just couldn't stomach reading them again because they have worse spelling/grammar/wording than even I can tolerate and they're really old. I didn't like seeing them here and I wouldn't offer you something I don't even like of mine.

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Richard Fidget by TOOP reviews
Richard Fidget is near the end of his 8th grade year. Everything changes when he finds a mirror with supernatural capabilites. Lots of humor, film noir, and more. New and improved version! Now updating again!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,586 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 4/30/2013 - Published: 6/6/2008
World Chicken: How Snobs Happen by The Breakdancing Ninja reviews
How a nice girl becomes the hellfire cheerleader of every fat, unpopular girl's waking NIGHTMARE. Sept 23, 2008: Ch.8&9 up! Romance, drag racing, sibling... love and danger! //INCOMPLETE//
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 34,116 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 9/8/2010 - Published: 4/7/2008
World Chicken: A Libertine by The Breakdancing Ninja reviews
Roman has a problem keeping his hands to himself, enjoys Mexicans, eating chicken, reading books, skipping out on work, and being your average pig. Life is life, and it leaves such a good aftertaste. //COMPLETE//
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 47,550 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/28/2010 - Published: 8/3/2007 - Complete
When He Hangs His Moon On You by Penance for her sins reviews
Call it naiveté, my pair of impenetrable rose-colored glasses. But once upon a time, I had something most girls have to fall asleep and count sheep to call their own. Then my would-be happily ever after abruptly unraveled.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,536 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/2/2008 - Published: 8/4/2007
That Essay That Everyone Else Writes by JJSLAM2129 reviews
Mary Sues, Cliches, Stupid Villans, Reviewers, Bad Logic and anything else I can think of that bugs me about today's stories. If something's bugging you, chances are you'll find it here. Now with Worldbuilding. Topic suggestions welcome! Reviews returned.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 16,758 - Reviews: 205 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 9/16/2007 - Published: 10/5/2006
Miss G String by ZombieMcQueen reviews
musings about yet another thing girls do that confuses me
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 124 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 14 - Published: 9/13/2007 - Complete
Why I Don't Read Your Stories by Stephentchel reviews
Fairly self explanatory. There is a lot out there that irritates me, and after years of silent suffering I've decided to vent my frustration. Although this is mostly self therapy, I'm sure there are others out there who feel as I do, so I opted to share.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,396 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/31/2007 - Complete
Sand Ghost: Mercenary of the Desert by The Poplocking Ninja reviews
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Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 15,840 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 8 - Updated: 4/5/2007 - Published: 2/17/2007 - Complete
Vapmire Sexxy Vilage Bash FVuck and Violence by FUCK ME ARSE reviews
Hot dripping blood vampire pussy sex explosion on world trade center exploshun for reals hot akshun and sara machell gellar!
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 36 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/25/2007 - Complete
Git R Done by Gilee7 reviews
Two teenage girls flash passing cars from their bedroom window until one car turns around and pulls into their driveway.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,216 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/15/2006 - Complete
Blood, Cum and Dildo Crosses by Gilee7 reviews
Sex, Violence, Profanity, Murder, Rape, Incest, Blasphemy, Racism . . . What more could you possibly ask for?
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,594 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/7/2005 - Complete
Humor: How to make it suck less by Radyn reviews
This is my indictment against the current state of humor. Rated T for vitriolic cruelty and copious swearing. Best of all, it's not a gay marriage essay.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,734 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 11 - Published: 8/30/2005
Santa Claus' public strip by PrincessBeautyRose reviews
Santa Claus is forced to strip on live television!
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 106 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/24/2005
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Skywatching reviews
Matthew tries to hook his true love - the outrageously gorgeous and equally interested Janie Zimmerman. It's destiny; extraterrestrial intelligence, panic attacks, ESP and weird porno can't keep them apart, either. The tinfoil hats don't help, though.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 13,430 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/7/2010 - Published: 9/4/2010
Killing Kevin reviews
My name is Kevin Panzer. I see butterflies everywhere I go and may be a serial killer.
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 26,604 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/31/2010 - Published: 4/16/2009
Duties of the Double Dog reviews
A complete stranger has taken over my life and I think I've taken over theirs. All I know about this person is the fact that they've got serious guts - and that's all they know about me. Excuse me while I go to find a drag queen, now....
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 59,617 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 9/27/2009 - Published: 6/14/2009
Dear Imagination reviews
An angry, anthropophobic loner gets thrust into the world of typical teen socialization, aggravating freshmen and unbearable crushes when her new neighbors, a chatterbox and a bully, move in. A darker twist on the bad boy/good girl.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 115,986 - Reviews: 504 - Favs: 441 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 9/27/2009 - Published: 6/22/2007 - Complete
Just Like A Fruitcake reviews
I said hi. He said he'd eat my eyeballs. I said to put his goggles on. He said he raped my cat. I said he's a cannibal Saiyan. He said he's a colorblind vampire. The psychic said we'd be gushing over each other by next year. Someone's lying.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 105,995 - Reviews: 355 - Favs: 247 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 5/16/2009 - Published: 7/17/2008 - Complete
Blue reviews
I like the color blue, I think it looks really good on me. Really short piece.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 300 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Published: 10/10/2008 - Complete
I've Got Serious Issues reviews
My brother's an asshole, my mom's depressed, her boyfriend is a rapist, and my best friend decided to become a whore. My only friends were trying to kill me earlier this year. Some still are. Why doesn't ANYTHING good happen to me? Because I suck.
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 4,098 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 9/7/2008 - Published: 7/3/2007
Kylie Morrison: Untouchable reviews
Kylie learns how tough high school can be for a normal girl who happens to be under five feet tall; between the mannish girls that want her dead, a nutty coach with anger problems and her unnaturally pubescent friends, she's gotta find a way...!
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 59 - Words: 2,501 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 7/16/2008 - Published: 7/7/2007 - Complete
Doing the Doodie Work reviews
Bevin's brother is schizophrenic and her neighbor's a...what?...what the hell is that? Life gets tough when the Paranormal Police stalk her, she hangs out with the school freaks and has a haircut that makes her identical to her whackjob brother.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 60,847 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 6/24/2008 - Published: 7/27/2007
The Nameless Story of a Boy and Girl reviews
Title says it all pretty well. First collaboration between FP writer NEStitch and I L. Darko.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,831 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 5/13/2008 - Published: 10/24/2007
Gilee7 (6)