Mad Paladin
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Joined 06-19-07, id: 571918
Author has written 3 stories for Fantasy.

Hi, I'm Brandon. Actually I'm "incapacitated" right now, so this is from me, but really written by my friend. I'm a satirical person and stuff. Right now I'm in China, and I'm working on book three of this thing that I've been working on forever. The only reason I'm still working on Random Violence Chronicles is that I have no idea where I'm going. If you have any idea, tell me. bunch of stuff, too much to write down ...and beat the crap out of a bunch of aliens. Just by tripping on this rock that had nothing to do with anything... other random stuff that even the writer won't put up here.

Er, Nil (said friend) now thinks that I'm a bit out of it, so Nil's going to put some other stuff up... Or not, actually. Well, you should prod me to put more up. Later. And not while I'm drunk. Or maybe when I'm drunk, 'cause that would be hilarious. Oh, and check out the pen name Aelaris - just because he's writing this, and can plug for himself.

"I will eat your soul and drain your spirit until you are a crumbled heap of nothingness. Then I will kick you in the balls. Curiously hard." - More drunken stuff that was picked up.

Anyway, Brandon should have Random Violence Chronicles up in three days, when FP's little delay lock is over. He will be bugged by Nil to do so if he doesn't. It's not half bad, and according to Nil (who really doesn't care much for the pseudo genre it's in), it's... pretty okay. Just pay attention, and don't get lost in the randomness. And laugh. Out loud is recommended.

-- Nil Athelion (Pen-name Aelaris), and pretty much just Nil, as Brandon has left the room and is hitting up the bars in Shenzhen again.

PS: ...Iceberg...

Okay, this is Brandon, really, now. Sober and all. Random Violence Chronicles is my pride and joy. It's been at least four years in the making.

Yes, the detail sucks, but I'm concise, and details can sometimes bog down the story. Like in Lord of the Rings! Oh, I'll catch some flak for that. But I'm just gonna say that I want to entertain people. There's almost NO symbolism in this. And it's just overall a crappy book. But it's filled with my kind of humor, and I like it.

So, you should read it. Yes, you. And I play world of warcraft, and counter-strike. And I try to bring the humor of both into everything I do. Well, not everything...

I talk too much. Read the book, comment on it, and then message me, or email me, or, hell, just throw a sheep at me.

DON'T EAT DUCKS!!!

I sincerely apologize for changing the story format of Random Violence Chronicles. It is not to get attention, but instead to provide a better starting and stopping point.

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Guardians of the Elements: The Great Conflict by Ultimate Guardian Emcron reviews
It is a world and time not our own...a world of dimensional travel and a time of magic...the forces of good and evil clash in a great war that will define the future of all...
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 66 - Words: 253,173 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/18/2008 - Published: 4/23/2004 - Complete
Titles Are Difficult by Neon Tetra reviews
My satirical guide to writing and criticism on FictionPress. Rated PG13 for thematic elements.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Parody/Horror - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,896 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/29/2004
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Random Violence Chronicles Revised
This is the revised version of Random Violence Chronicles, a story that answers the question: What would fantasy worlds be like if the characters talked and acted like actual people? The answer is a humorous journey the likes of which you won't believe.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,754 - Published: 11/23/2009
Random Violence Chronicles reviews
Join a dysfunctional band of heroes as they take on challenges the likes of which the fantasy world has never seen. Meant to be humorous, as there are holy hand grenades and guns in this story. Book 2 and on are the best. Review it, you cheeky bastard.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 29,967 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/22/2009 - Published: 6/24/2007
Darkaz Knights reviews
A start to a story I once attempted. Not complete by any means but feel free to comment on my style. More might come. And no, this has no relevance to my other story, Random Violence Chronicles. Yet.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: K - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 249 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/15/2007