average.snarker
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Joined 07-13-07, id: 575154, Profile Updated: 05-17-09
Author has written 26 stories for Politics, Life, Spiritual, Mystery, Love, Nature, Religion, Essay, and Fantasy.

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living.
The world owes you nothing. It was here first."

Mark Twain

"Nothing is more beautiful than you wearing only the moonlight and my kisses."
Unknown source

Hello, I'm Not Your Average Moonbeam (wow that sounds deliciously like some new age wicca name, or some crap like that) and I'm a recovering vegetarian; I've been off tofu for a year and a half now.

Now, on to more serious matters. I absolutely detest bad grammar. If I flame you for bad grammar, take it as a compliment that I actually gave your story the time of day. Most times, I skip over stories on this website for the mere fact that someone was stupid enough to give themselves a pen-name related to the Jonas Brothers or another teenage band. Somebody, please, shoot me.

However, if you write well, I will praise you for it, should I have the time.

Gender: Female

Religion: none that I know of. I'm a quarter Jewish/Rroma, partly Catholic on my grandmother's side (who then promptly decided she wanted to be a mormon and then turned into an atheist of obvious reasons), and some Cherokee and African beliefs on my douche-bag of a sperm-doners side, but I don't practice. I'm probably the cutest atheist you'll ever meet (big curly pigtails and such), but I've been thinking about starting my own religion. After you die, anyone who was a jerk in life turns into an immortal and quick-healing squirrel to be hounded by dogs and run over cars only to heal again for all eternity. Anyone who was cool turns into a kitten. My friends say it sounds like a cult, but I don't have the time or energy to kill myself to go to some magical spaceship or some ridiculous nothing like that.

Soda: Dr. Pepper. Honestly, if it was up to me, I would only drink cold Dr Pepper out of cans and cold cranberry juice (none of this cranberry juice cocktail bull)

Favourite food: Pumpkin Pie with Cool Whip

Television Show: Law and Order: SVU, or Burn Notice

Voice Part: Second Soprano. We're ninjas. Want to know why? No one can hear us!

Holy freaking hell, everything is changing. I'm taking off all of my pathetic pedestrian (and rather elementary) poems I had written and thought were so fabulous at the time. They weren't.

Empty Calories are epic.

I'm an elitist. My friends are better than your friends.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Möbius Mortalis by borderline-mary reviews
An essay written for school, but more meaningful for me than that.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,150 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/24/2007 - Complete
Suspended Animation by JLei reviews
A short poem.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 64 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/17/2007 - Complete
The Little Death by GeorgeBailey reviews
spurm soldiers march off to die
Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Parody/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 72 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/25/2006
Fall by Raiyune reviews
It's a bit long for my taste... A frail but somewhat decent attempt to get back into poetry after not having written for so long. A monologue of a mother to her child... I realize this needs some work.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 385 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/24/2006
Hypocritical by Wingless Cherub reviews
Another poem about environmentalists, or vegetarians, or... My (ex)friend Janie.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 731 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/17/2006
Gay is, in fact, NOT OKAY by The Zaniak reviews
A comparison of Namir Swiftpaw's essay on homosexual marriage and another opinion.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 895 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/18/2004
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Bast reviews
A simple free-verse about everyone's favourite Egyptian Artemis.
Poetry: Fantasy - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 79 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/10/2008 - Complete
Abstinence and the Forbidden Fruit reviews
It isn't what you are expecting. It's cynical, mildly snarky and for all intents and purposes true; not religious.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 442 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 6/10/2008 - Complete
Moonshine in June reviews
A fun, light and lyrical poem about a hidden dance of night's creatures on one warm June night.
Poetry: Nature - Rated: K - English - Mystery/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 110 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/10/2008 - Complete
Salmon reviews
A collection of my shorter love poems. Symbolic.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 4 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 11/3/2007 - Published: 10/12/2007
Chaos
Not symbolic. For those who read my work this will shock you. My take on the most devestating day of my life, and those who do not understand the meaning of it.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 111 - Published: 10/24/2007 - Complete
Off Beats reviews
Symbolic. It is a somewhat sad poem, with references to music.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 81 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10/13/2007 - Complete
Daisy reviews
Symbolic. Maybe a little romantic, depends on how you see it.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 35 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10/11/2007 - Complete
The Sun Chases the Moon reviews
Symbolic. Prose. I adore this piece, though I'm not sure what category it should be in.
Poetry: Religion - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 158 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9/22/2007 - Complete
Bowing Heads reviews
Symbolic. Not in my usual style. Rather sad.
Poetry: Nature - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 44 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9/17/2007 - Complete
Black Waves reviews
Symbolism. Rather sad, though not truly a tragedy.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 39 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9/4/2007 - Complete
I Dread the Day reviews
Symbolic. I love this piece, so here it is.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 129 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/30/2007 - Complete
Kitten reviews
Symbolic. Well, you probably won't understand why it is in the love section.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 63 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/30/2007 - Complete
Little Lies reviews
Symbolic, though it may not seem like it. Probably not what you think it's about.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 64 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/30/2007 - Complete
I am Woman reviews
My take on the feminist movement. Certainly not in my usual style. Before complaining, take into account that I am female.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Humor/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 94 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 8/30/2007 - Complete
Bums and Hookers reviews
A young socialite meets a homeless man, and relates her experience with bums and hookers.
Fiction: Mystery - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 302 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/16/2007 - Complete
A Thinker reviews
A rather symbolic monologue about life. I am decidely torn between posting this in poetry or fiction. It is not in a typical style.
Fiction: Spiritual - Rated: T - English - Drama/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,707 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/16/2007 - Complete
The Ramblings of Miss Mary Sue reviews
Symbolism. A collection of some of my poems about life. Since I have so many of them I decided to make this a series.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 4 - Words: 347 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 8/16/2007 - Published: 8/15/2007
Kisses reviews
Symbolic. A silly little thing I came up with about life.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 87 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/5/2007 - Complete
Garnet Beauty reviews
Symbolism. Horror. In my Usual Style.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 95 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7/27/2007 - Complete
Disillusioned Dreams reviews
Symbolism. This is one I particularly dislike, however I was harassed into posting this by my socalled 'friends'.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7/26/2007 - Complete
SunSprinkled Hare reviews
Symbolic, Horror. Not in my usual style.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: M - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 77 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7/26/2007 - Complete
A Liar reviews
Symbolic, not in my usual style.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 155 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7/26/2007 - Complete
They Hide
Symbolic, not in my usual style.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 77 - Published: 7/26/2007 - Complete
Some Meditation, Please reviews
Symbolism. It is one of my more simplistic pieces. Very, very tongue in cheek
Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 176 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/20/2007 - Complete
Dancing Fools reviews
Symbolic. This just begged to be written. I doubt you will understand why I chose to put this in the Politics category.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 123 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7/19/2007 - Complete
Luna, Luna reviews
Symbolic. More likely than not you will not understand why I chose to put this in politics.
Poetry: Politics - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 101 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/17/2007 - Complete