22/03/10: It's probably not escaped your notice that Bloodstained has not been updated for a fairly long time. I'm afraid this will likely to continue to be the case for a while. Real Life has really kicked my arse the last few months. It was just looking up, but then my mother got diagnosed with cancer. She's had the operation to remove the tumour, but she will stll be undergoing treatment for quite a while, so most of my time will be taken up with looking after her. I apologise for the long wait. I will finish Bloodstained, I promise, but it will be a while.

Update 25/8/08: Okay, no new chapter for Bloodstained. But a new oneshot. Give that a go. It's called Bleed Like Me (You Should See My Scars) and it's based both in personal experience, and the Garbage song it derives it title from. Go read it whilst listening to Bleed Like Me by Garbage. It'll set the mood. I'm a little nervous about posting this because I'm not sure how it's going to be taken. Also, you'll notice there is a poll up there. Please go read my other new story Diary Of An Anti-Psychotic. And then vote in the poll. Pretty please?

Update 18/7/09: Oh yeah, peoples! I'm back! Bloodstained is now the proud owner of chapter nine! No applause please, just throw money. Or review! Seriously. Go review it. Even if you haven't read it. I am a review whore and will welcome your contribution in any form it takes.

Update 4/5/09: Okay. as you will have noticed, I haven't updated Bloodstained since early January. Feel free to leave me angry PMs threatening to cut off important body parts. It might help me shift my lazy butt.
If any of you are interested, I have been suffering severe writer's block. Everything I write just feels forced. Also, having had an extremely lazy time of it for the last eighteen months (stressful, but lazy nonetheless) suddenly half the NHS have developed a keen interest in my mental health. Ugh. Also, I'll start attenting a dayservice to replace school, which will continue during holidays, so I'm not even going to have the summer off! Having been out of school (and pretty much social interactions in general) for a year and a half, I guess I can't really complain. But, I will try and update Bloodstained as soon as possible. I do apologise for disappearing on you guys.

I write fanfiction for Harry Potter and Dragonball Z over on Fanfiction.net under the same penname.

I have a website. http:///home

Quotes:

"I'm not against religion. I mean, if you've got a problem, you turn to religion, that's fine. I use Google." Simon Amstell

"Love your enemies. It makes them so damn mad." P.D. East

"I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on." Anon

"Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be impossible?" Anon

"Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off." Anon

"I'm bored. Be entertaining. Go!"
"Fuck that, the best I can do is juggle Cornflakes." Random text conversation between me and my friend.

"Here I am, bemoaning the futility of existence, and you offer me Wheat Crunchies." Coversation between me and Phantom66 during a Health and Social class about two years ago.

"He was thinking of working in a charity."
"Well, he'd be worth a lot to a charity."
"Yeah, we could make good profit from him." Same Health class, same insane friend.

"They're laughing at us!"
"Yeah."
"Let's destroy them all!"
"Yea - what? I only just got that, I was about to agree with you." Honestly, I think she worries for me.

"Ow!"
"Haha! Sorry, I laugh at others' pain." I think she was genuinely bruised, which is the bad thing.

"Boing!"
"What?"
"You said 'boing'."
"Yeah, I know that."
"And then you said 'what'."
"I know."
"Why?"
"No, I didn't say that." At least that time, I was the sane one.

"Is the glass half full or half empty?"
"I dunno, depends what's in the cup. Is it liquid? Is it gravel? Perhaps beetroot, prawns, maybe blood. Is it used in a sacrificial context?"
"It's okay, we'll ask somebody else." Bill Bailey

Bunny has been executed. He has been hanged, for treachery. I joined his dark side, and they didn't have cookies! They didn't have biscuits, or cookies, or even Jaffa Cakes, which may or may not be a biscuit in itself anyway.

Copy and paste Hanged Bunny into your profile to show your disdain and rebellion against the seditious Dark-Side-Who-Promise-Cookies-And-Then-Don't-Even-Provide them.