Bazooka Joy
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Joined 10-28-07, id: 587105, Profile Updated: 12-25-20

12/25/20 update: I'm 32, old and crusted now. Still barely wrote jack since and forgot about this place. Deleted my stuff but went back and read old favorites just because. Apparently we can't delete our profiles, so...hi! Wack year eh?

I'm 22.

I used to live in Carbondale, St. Louis, and Macomb. Now I'm living in...well that will remain a mystery. Hint: I'm still in the USA.

I'm slowly pulling out of a writer's block (see Sacre Bleu...or's your life, do what you want...) so if my stuff makes you cringe in revulsion...suck my big toe. Also, no flames. There's no point in that. Seriously. If you're expecting a perfect story, simply go to a local bookstore.

If you have a story you want me to read, let me know. I have lots of fun reviewing. Especially if it's romance or some sort of sci-fi. Not the biggest fan of fantasy or poetry but I can have a try at it. And no, that doesn't mean you have to review me back. I'll go months without writing but I still visit here as often as I can. But let me add this, when I'm randomly stumbling across a story I generally read the author's bio; if there's something in the content of that bio that I don't like it'll turn me off and I won't read any of their works. If you tYpe lYke diiS or in all/no caps...forget it. Not to offend anyone, I'm just weird like that.

Here are my fave authors: Christine Feehan, Stephenie Meyer, Lisa Kleypas, Samantha James, Amanda Ashley, Laurie Faria Stolarz, Sarah Dessen, Lurlene McDaniel, Lisa Jackson, Victoria Alexander.

Yes, I like the Twilight series. No, I'm not obsessed with them. K? I know some of you saw 'Stephenie Meyer' and thought "Oh God, her too?" It's not like that. Honestly.

By the way, I didn't make up those sniglets below, so if you ever use them PUT A DISCLAIMER OR RICH HALL WILL SUE YOUR ASS. Merci beaucoup.

Sniglet: A word that should be in the dictionary but isn't.

Bubblic-Addicted to the systematic popping bubbles in packaging

Doork-One who attempts to enter through an exit and exit through an enter. Frequently achieved by either pushing on a PULL or pulling on a PUSH

cewebrity-Someone who is well known online but obscure offline. Some of you are guilty of this, don't lie

Questfallen-Reaction to the realization that your MapQuest directions have failed you.

P-Spot-The area directly above the urinal in public restrooms that men stare at, knowing a glance in any other direction would arouse suspicion

Omnibilious-Indifferent to type of drink. "Oh, you can get me anything. I'm omnibilious."

Primpo-A person who passes a mirror then has to step back, presumably to reassure himself he still exists

Sarchasm-The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

Thrickle-The itch in the back of your throat which can't be scratched without making disgusting barnyard-type noises

Yinkel-A person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one will notice

Thank you Rich Hall

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Rocket by BabyPop Massacre reviews
Women fell like rain at his feet and his parting gift for them the next morning was nothing but a clouded memory. So why isn’t he leaving Fiona’s bed?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 35,604 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 11/29/2009 - Published: 3/2/2008
The Art of Refusal by BabyPop Massacre reviews
What would be the perfect representation of love? Hate? Jealousy? Idiocy? Friendship?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,686 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 7/12/2009 - Published: 2/21/2009 - Complete
Bleeding Love by Nubian Ishtar reviews
I looked at my cigarette, inspiration hitting me. I kissed Elsie’s head before laying her full out on the couch. I took a curtain in my hand. I took a good puff then lit the cloth on fire. I watched as the curtain went up in orange and red flames.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,865 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 6/21/2009 - Complete
Tsutaenakya: I Must Tell You Of My Feelings by Nubian Ishtar reviews
My Prom picture, encased in a beautiful frame, is flung into the wall by the door; it shatters and the photo lies forlornly in glass. I sob, my cries muffled inside the space I created for myself. I rock back and forth; my life feels over.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,926 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/15/2009 - Complete
Hugs and Kisses by this is the life reviews
ONEshot. - She is the type of person who likes hugs and kisses. Cuddles and touches. But he isn't. And sadly, she doesn't know.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,159 - Reviews: 227 - Favs: 942 - Follows: 65 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Complete
Georgina's New Folder by Okceg reviews
A fairly short story of what happened when my best friend decided, she didn't want to be friends with me anymore.
Fiction: Biography - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,442 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/12/2008 - Complete
A Goodnight Kiss by Pharoseer reviews
Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy meets police? Based on a dream I had.
Fiction: Thriller - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,958 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 3/30/2008 - Complete
Emotional Amnesia by Kir Sirin reviews
Love is a question; “Can you love someone like me?” Love is a game; “Lets see who can fall first.” Love is a promise; “I will never leave you." The same rules apply to every other emotion. You say you cant feel but only because you’re afraid of letting go
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,396 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 16 - Published: 3/14/2008 - Complete
Adam by groovacious reviews
What makes a man physically attractive.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 673 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/13/2008 - Complete
Impulse by White Rose Blossom reviews
“Did you honestly,” he panted, pausing to grin, “Just compare me to a Greek sex god?” Oh, he so wasn’t going to let that go, was he? -- Aphrodite never saw this coming...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,401 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 633 - Follows: 53 - Published: 3/9/2008 - Complete
Like A Child by Kiwi-kiwi6 reviews
The world would be so much better if everyone was like a child.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 83 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Published: 2/4/2008 - Complete
As simple as black and white by MistyBluePrincess reviews
My name is Gillianne, I had a one night stand with my best friend, and now I have twin biracial sons that he doesn't know about. My life was ok until he finds out and insists on marriage what happens next is not as simple as black and white! R&R PLEASE!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,567 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 1/24/2008 - Published: 5/19/2007
Culture or Naps, Perhaps? by iloveanimecartoons reviews
Oh the woes of a nappyheaded Diva...
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 257 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/16/2008 - Complete
Time Apart for Broken Hearts by Devin-Jamie reviews
Elle and Johnny used to be young and in love, but six years of marriage can make their love seem faded. Both have changed, and they fight constantly. After one of these fights, Elle feels she can't stand it. She leaves, but is she gone for good?
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,710 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/11/2007 - Complete
Unfold by LiME-GREEN-CAPES reviews
“I hate you.” He told me openly as we sat inside our classroom. “Aw. I hate you too sweetheart.” I replied sharply. And then, moments later, when the class had flied out, he turned towards me, pushed me against the wall and kissed me senseless.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,336 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 207 - Follows: 23 - Published: 12/8/2007 - Complete
Babysitter, Denver Max by Oka-Poka reviews
Hello. My name is Carl; I'll be your babysitter this evening. Slash. Oneshot. Pedo warning.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,262 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 10 - Published: 8/28/2007 - Complete