12/25/20 update: I'm 32, old and crusted now. Still barely wrote jack since and forgot about this place. Deleted my stuff but went back and read old favorites just because. Apparently we can't delete our profiles, so...hi! Wack year eh?

I'm 22.

I used to live in Carbondale, St. Louis, and Macomb. Now I'm living in...well that will remain a mystery. Hint: I'm still in the USA.

I'm slowly pulling out of a writer's block (see Sacre Bleu...or not...it's your life, do what you want...) so if my stuff makes you cringe in revulsion...suck my big toe. Also, no flames. There's no point in that. Seriously. If you're expecting a perfect story, simply go to a local bookstore.

If you have a story you want me to read, let me know. I have lots of fun reviewing. Especially if it's romance or some sort of sci-fi. Not the biggest fan of fantasy or poetry but I can have a try at it. And no, that doesn't mean you have to review me back. I'll go months without writing but I still visit here as often as I can. But let me add this, when I'm randomly stumbling across a story I generally read the author's bio; if there's something in the content of that bio that I don't like it'll turn me off and I won't read any of their works. If you tYpe lYke diiS or in all/no caps...forget it. Not to offend anyone, I'm just weird like that.

Here are my fave authors: Christine Feehan, Stephenie Meyer, Lisa Kleypas, Samantha James, Amanda Ashley, Laurie Faria Stolarz, Sarah Dessen, Lurlene McDaniel, Lisa Jackson, Victoria Alexander.

Yes, I like the Twilight series. No, I'm not obsessed with them. K? I know some of you saw 'Stephenie Meyer' and thought "Oh God, her too?" It's not like that. Honestly.

By the way, I didn't make up those sniglets below, so if you ever use them PUT A DISCLAIMER OR RICH HALL WILL SUE YOUR ASS. Merci beaucoup.

Sniglet: A word that should be in the dictionary but isn't.

Bubblic-Addicted to the systematic popping bubbles in packaging

Doork-One who attempts to enter through an exit and exit through an enter. Frequently achieved by either pushing on a PULL or pulling on a PUSH

cewebrity-Someone who is well known online but obscure offline. Some of you are guilty of this, don't lie

Questfallen-Reaction to the realization that your MapQuest directions have failed you.

P-Spot-The area directly above the urinal in public restrooms that men stare at, knowing a glance in any other direction would arouse suspicion

Omnibilious-Indifferent to type of drink. "Oh, you can get me anything. I'm omnibilious."

Primpo-A person who passes a mirror then has to step back, presumably to reassure himself he still exists

Sarchasm-The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it

Thrickle-The itch in the back of your throat which can't be scratched without making disgusting barnyard-type noises

Yinkel-A person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one will notice

Thank you Rich Hall