The Synopsis of my Eventful Existence
Note to all: This profile was more or less copied from my Fanfic account (daring, I know).
Name: You can call me Flie.
Gender: Male (however there is skepticism about this fact of my life, I will tell you this though: I claim to be Male... I also claim to be a Tahitian Nun).
Age: I am currently claiming to be 97 and three fourths (if you have a better guess, enlighten me).
Location: I live in Tahiti and am a Male Nun. I attend a nunnery and will be moving to a monastery shortly. I am sure that you are all very curious about my life as a nun, so I shall tell you a couple of things to satisfy that raging curiosity.
Firstly, you may ask: How can a male be a nun? The answer is actually very simple. You see, the natives to Tahiti think that it's discriminatory towards men to only allow females to become nuns (and vice versa- only allowing males to be monks), so we passed a law that allows both females and males to participate in the practices of a nun and a monk. For the first few years of life (first few means until that student is ready to proceed to the next level, it could take ten years or one hundred) nuns/monks go to the nunnery to learn of all Holy ways, traditions and arts. After they have completed this, they move onto the monastery. After both of these training facilities have been passed, the nun/monk is allowed to decide if they want to become a nun or a monk and then take up that path of life ( I haven't gotten to the choice yet; but I'm leaving heavily towards the ways of the nun).
Secondly, what on earth goes on at the nunnery?
The nunnery is much like your high schools (but with the exception that we can stay there until we are ready to move on) we learn subjects from math and science, to self defense ( many different kinds; believe or not the nuns are well versed in the slaying ways ) and how to stitch people up, perform limited surgery, and meditate to increase spiritual energy ( which in my opinion, is a useless class because I spend half the time out in the hall for 'disturbing the peace').
My school is humongous and people say that it's shaped like a beer keg. It has no electricity and no plumbing, we go to the bathroom in large unhealthy vats on either side of the football field.
The football field itself is used for unethical reasons, the nuns have a nasty habit of throwing dead animals there and when playing on the field, children need to navigate through the bloody carcasses ( needless to say, we have nobody requesting to play on our field).
Thirdly, how do the nuns act?
This may surprise many of you, but many Nuns are not as Holy as you would like to think. I have observed many “risqué” Nun’s. They participate in wild scandals and are not new when it comes to gambling and belly dancing. Many Nun’s (or sisters and brothers as we refer to them, because many of the registered nuns are our teachers), have feral parties on the weekends, frolic in the field of illegal drunk usage and throw a conniption when the latest playboy or girl magazine comes out a quarter of a day late. They can be hot tempered and don’t hesitate to draw the whipping stick when the need is questionable.
But overall, they’re quiet, non-aggressive people, and are always willing to give a helping hand.
Fourthly (and most importantly) why did I, Flamingflie, decide to become a nun?
I am not the best student. I am constantly yanked out of class for making fun of the latest love affair Sister Margaret or Brother Felix are troubled with. I bring lamps illegally onto the school grounds (since electricity isn’t permitted) and turn them on in the middle of note-taking claiming that I need more light. I also have a habit of going shirtless to gym class with the excuse that my muscles are lonely and need to come out to play.
Anyway… why did I become a nun? I really have no idea, but I’ll figure it out someday.
Life: I live with my widowed mother and nine siblings (all of which are female). My father was eaten by cannibals when I was a mere boy, however, I have forgiven the cannibals mostly (all humans make mistakes), although I do hunt them on occasion. They also try to eat me sometimes, but other than that, were very good friends.
Other: Currently the only thing that I'm working on is The Final Valediction and I guess Dancing in the Rain (though that's mostly just a way for me to make fun of writing, while writing well at the same time). If you have time please review one of them or one of my one shots.
Each moment in time we have it all, even when we think we don't. - Melody Beattie
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day - anonymous
Attention to health is life greatest hindrance. - I forgot
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing - Elbert Hubbard
Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it. - Ella Williams
There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded. - Mark Twain
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.- anonymous The world is filled with willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them. - Robert Frost
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway - anonymous
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think - anonymous
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. - anonymous ( sorry if this offended you, it cracked me up)
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss - Douglas Adams
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. - anonymous
I shall tell you a great secret my friend. Do not wait for the last judgment; it takes place every day - Albert Camus
I reject your reality and insert my own. - Mythbusters
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt
For those to whom much is given, much is required. - John F. Kennedy
There was no fire between our sheets.- George Washington
So you’re the little woman who wrote the book that made this great war. - Abraham Lincoln
Courage is being scared to death-- and saddling up anyway. - John Wayne
In the long run we get no more than we have been willing to risk giving.- Sheldon Kopp
We must all learn to live together as brothers, or we will perish as fools.- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Some books should be tasted, some devoured, but only a few should be chewed and digested thoroughly. Cornelia Funke ( Inkheart )
He was probably right, but there was another reason why Meggie took her books whenever they went away. They were her home when she was somewhere strange. They were familiar voices, friends that never quarreled with her, clever, powerful friends-- daring and knowledgeable, tried and tested adventures who had traveled far and wide. - Cornelia Funke ( Inkheart )
“ ‘ They’re all cruel, the world I come from, the world you come from, and this one, too. Maybe people don’t see the cruelty in your world right away, it’s better hidden, but it’s there all the same.’ ” - Cornelia Funke ( Inkspell )
Fear doesn’t travel well; just as it can warp judgment, its absence can diminish memory’s truth. What terrifies one generation is likely to bring only a puzzled smile to the next.- Arthur Miller
“ ‘ She might buy ale with it.’ He shrugs. ‘ then she’ll have ale. It isn’t the pound that matters; it’s the hope.’” - Libba Bray ( A Sweet Far Thing )
I do not want to pass the time. I want to grab hold of it and leave my mark on the world. - Libba Bray ( A Sweet Far Thing )
I made the Cowardly Lion look like the terminator. - Meyer
When I came here as a child, he would always remove the bullets as soon as he walked in the door. I guess he considered me old enough not to shoot myself by accident, and not depressed enough to shoot myself on purpose. - Meyer
‘ “ I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.’ ” - Meyer
‘ “ I’m an idiot.’ ‘You are an idiot,’ he agreed with a laugh. Our eyes met, and I laughed, too. We laughed at the idiocy and sheer impossibility of such a moment. ‘ And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…’ ….. ‘ What a stupid lamb,’ I sighed. ‘ What a sick masochistic lion.’ ” - Meyer
A man may die, nations may rise, but an idea lives on. ~ John F. Kennedy
Sometimes, I wish I could be like the rain, if I were, then I would have a way to connect two hearts together? The way the rain connects the earth and the sky, even though the two never touch? - Bleach
“ If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem part of it.”- Emily Bronte
“ I’d be glad of retaliation that wouldn’t recoil on myself; but treachery and violence are spears pointed at both ends: they wound those who resort to them, worse than their enemies.” - Emily Bronte
By the way, PM me at any time, I will talk to any willing victim.
Don't eat your mother... could cause indigestion ~ Flamingflie