Author has written 23 stories for General, Fantasy, Mythology, Nature, General, Romance, Fantasy, Mystery, Essay, Fable, Historical, School, Friendship, Play, and Life.
So... hi you've reached the profile of Mao the Peacock. I'm 17years old and have been a member of Fiction Press for 6 years, though I haven't written anything for quite some time. Any other questions- send me an email. Hope you enjoy whatever youre reading. Thanks for comments! :)
-Mao "When life hands you skittles- throw them at people and yell- 'Taste the frickin rainbow!'"
Fav. quotes- "Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?"
"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to." "Life's a garden. Dig it.""I almost had a psychic boyfriend but he left me before we met."
"I intend to live forever ...so far, so good.""
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?" "Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable."
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have all died." "Your mama is so fat, when she sings, it's over."
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." "The elevator to success is broken- take the stairs." "Never take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway."
"The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised." "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid."
"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings." "Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils..."
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car." "Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film."
"Best excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from." "The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants." "Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."
"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity." - Albert Einstein
"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button." "I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."
"Life is a shit sandwich. The more bread you get the less shit you have to eat." "There are three sides to any argument- your side, my side, and the right side... it just so happens that the last two always go hand in hand."
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
1. You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)
2. You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer:
25. You failed English 101.
If you match most of the criteria above- copy and paste it on your own profile!
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.
She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It